Looking to Emasculate a Man? Open His Door for Him!

Congratulations, womyn! We've finally found the key to destroying masculinity (THE GOAL, I say. THE GOAL, you echo) and it's so simple that I cannot believe we haven't of it before. Turns out that all you have to do to turn a man into a frantic, insecure mess is to hold the door open for him and allow him to walk in… » 2/24/14 6:40pm 2/24/14 6:40pm

This Etiquette Guide for the Oakland Raiderettes Is Ridiculous

News recently broke that the Oakland Raiders are allegedly paying their cheerleaders (the Raiderettes) wages as criminally low as $5 per hour and now, as more facts about the team are revealed, it's turning out that not only do they pay the Raiderettes next to nothing — they also treat them like they're social fucking… » 1/28/14 4:30pm 1/28/14 4:30pm

It's Not Fake to Be Polite: A Defense of Etiquette

Over the past day or so (and constantly over the past several centuries), there has been a lot of talk about how people (mostly women) should and should not speak. First, there was Senator Kirsten Gillibrand slightly confusing bit of advice on how a woman who wants to be taken seriously should "speak less like a young… » 1/21/14 4:40pm 1/21/14 4:40pm

Do Us All a Favor: Make Baby Showers (and More Stuff) Co-Ed

Why are baby showers such utter hell? Is it the preciousness? Is it the ooh-ing? Is it the painstaking unwrapping of every single gift, including a rectal thermometer? What exactly is it that makes it such utter torture, and how can something that only lasts an hour be so awful? More importantly, why the hell haven't… » 11/19/13 11:30am 11/19/13 11:30am

Dress As Slutty As You Want This Halloween, Just Don't Act Like A Dick

Much has been made of Halloween's gradual transformation from a holiday that exists as a way to commemorate our ancient superstitions about ghosts into a holiday that exists as a way to get hepatitis from a sexy nurse costume that came in a clear plastic bag and cost $65. But quibbling over whether it's okay to go… » 10/29/13 5:30pm 10/29/13 5:30pm

Planning a Wedding? Save Time and Sanity With the CTFD Method

Are you a person who is either getting married or who has ever gotten married via a ritual we call a wedding? Then I have a suggestion for how you might go about it that covers thinking about your wedding, planning it, participating in it, asking others to participate in it, or reflecting on it for the duration of… » 9/03/13 12:05pm 9/03/13 12:05pm

I Will Instagram Your Wedding All I Want. These Shoes Hurt, Dammit.

Perhaps triggered by Sean "Don't photograph this giant fucking spectacle of a wedding LOOK AT ME DON'T LOOK AT ME" Parker's wedding, many couples are asking guests to leave their phones at home and simply swim in a sea of their love, untethered from technology. As if. Listen, I'm excited for you on your big day, and… » 8/13/13 1:20pm 8/13/13 1:20pm

A Definitive Guide to Gay Weddings as Told by the Media

Did you know people who aren't straight can get married now? Well they can! Only in certain states, but in other states they can have very similar ceremonies that you can call a wedding. What's hard is that if you're gay, you don't know how to have a wedding. They are totally different than straight weddings, for… » 6/25/13 4:30pm 6/25/13 4:30pm

The Most Amazing Wedding Text Message Fight of Our Time

Allow me to paint you a picture. Imagine you're asked to attend the wedding of a former colleague, and suppose you say yes. Instead of giving a more traditional wedding gift, you decide to go rogue by curating your own gift baskets filled with culinary delights like marshmallow fluff and Jolly Ranchers. You attach a… » 6/20/13 11:20am 6/20/13 11:20am

The Lady's Guide To a One-Night Stand

Pseudonymous GQ sex columnist Siobhan Rosen, herself A Lady, just penned The Gentleman’s Guide to a One-Night Stand, which, while covering some doy-level basic rules for guys (Use protection! Don’t get so drunk that your parts don't work!) assumes that there are certain things that Ladies—as an amorphous, tank-topped… » 4/13/13 3:00pm 4/13/13 3:00pm

What to Do When the World Gets Crazy and No One Knows How to Act Anymore

Interacting with humans, as someone I know pointed out recently, is "gross and hard." You try your best while mitigating your own circumstances, conditions and predispositions, but nobody really knows what's going on, how they're coming off, or what delicate sensibility in someone else they've deeply offended. It's… » 4/02/13 4:00pm 4/02/13 4:00pm

How to Use a Public or Shared Restroom Since It's Pretty Clear You…

Don't you just love modern conveniences? Drunken nights and certain New York neighborhoods aside, for the most part, we have progressed past pissing and shitting in the street. The toilet and the sewer system! A thing of beauty. Neat, quick, clean disposal of the excrement and detritus human existence is plagued by.… » 3/15/13 3:05pm 3/15/13 3:05pm

Eavesdropping on One-Way Conversations Is Like Being a Sleazy Detective…

If you've ever found yourself grinding your molars because the person sitting next to you in a coffee shop was gabbing away on a cellphone about the previous night's bout of food poisoning from a vending machine chili dog, you no doubt wished that you had laser eyes so you could melt that person into a puddle of… » 3/14/13 4:30pm 3/14/13 4:30pm

When Just Not Inviting Them Simply Won’t Do: How To Tell Someone They…

Just after college, a friend of mine mentioned he was getting married, and I expected to be among the guests. Cut to a few months later, and suddenly mutual friends were discussing plans for the upcoming shindig. I bugged a friend with an invite and found out it was not an oversight, which stung (I was an… » 1/04/13 11:30am 1/04/13 11:30am

Judging Complex Magazine's List of Awkward Shit Women Do After Sex

Ever the philanthropist, the young men's lifestyle mag Complex is determined to put an end to post-coital awkwardness on both sides. Um, thanks, Complex! Last month they called guys out on the top 10 cringe-worthy things they do after sackin' a lady, and now they've come back with 20—20!—theoretically ick-inducing … » 11/17/12 1:30pm 11/17/12 1:30pm