Jezebel
cautionary getting-tail tales
Posts Tagged “
England
”
Combat Barbie
"Lance Corporal Katrina Hodge, 21, was called "Combat Barbie" by fellow troops for her love of "pink girlie stuff." Far from taking offense, the decorated Iraq vet seems to be embracing the moniker, competing for the title of "Miss England," which she is favored to win. Says Hodge: "I want to use this competition to highlight the work that the army are doing and what they have done for this country." This is, obviously, the best way to win respect for female soldiers. We can't help wondering what she'll do for the 'talent' competition; she was decorated for disarming an insurgent. Are the baton twirlers shaking in their heels? [The Sun]
Crimes & Misdemeanors
A 12-year-old girl in England was detained and questioned by police for more than an hour after she put a splash of nail polish on her thumbnail in a drugstore. The girl was "caught" by a security guard who called the police who told the girl she could be forcibly restrained because she was over the age of 10, even though she made no attempts to escape or resist her detainment. Eventually, the girl's parents had to pick her up and pay for the Revlon peach-colored polish. How many actual robberies, and assorted other crimes happened during the time it took to detain this girl? [Telegraph]
cautionary getting-tail tales
leftovers
Women With Long Nails Say No To iPhones • Heinz Pulls "Gay-Kiss" Mayo Ad
Women with long fingernails hate the design of the iPhone because it is difficult to use. • The vaccine for HPV, an STD that can sometimes lead to cervical cancer, has yet to reach India where cervical cancer is the most common type of cancer in women. • Animal rights activists in India condemned the arrest of a man who rescued a sloth bear and raised it with his family. The bear is currently in a zoo and refuses to eat. • Heinz pulled a U.K. mayo ad that showed two men kissing in a kitchen (the horror!) after critics expressed outrage. • Women who read fitness mags while working out may feel depressed after looking at the super-toned bodies of the models. • 1 in 5 homeless women in Toronto have been sexually assaulted in the past year and many are afraid to report abuse to the police. • Elisabeth Fritzl, the Austrian woman who was locked in a basement by her father, is not ready to participate in a trial against her father. The trial has been put on hold indefinitely. • Whale hunting makes surviving whales lonely and many are losing will to live, according to a French naturalist. More »
leftovers
England To Martha Stewart: Denied! • Woman Beats Sex Offender Neighbor With Bat
WTF, England: The British government has banned Martha Stewart from entering the UK because of her criminal convictions in 2004. Wait, didn't Paris visit England a few months ago? • Some genius just found out that word-of-mouth influences shopping decisions and now the workplace is being called a "lucrative marketing channel for advertisers." Ugh. • A Mass. high school has banned the nickname, "Redmen," from their sports teams, while residents claim they will continue to fight to keep the name. Goody! I wonder if these "residents" will enjoy my new sport's team nickname, "'Nillamotherfuckers." I think it sounds "very noble and dignified." • GOP women are defecting from McCain! Ok, two women. But one of them is rich! • Meanwhile, the other side of the political spectrum (sort of) thinks reproductive rights aren't playing a big role for women this election year. • Overheard at the beach: "I'll tell you what I would do if a guy gave me a promise statue! I'd lube that shit up and stick it in my vag!" • A woman beat a man with a baseball bat after learning he was a level 3 sex offender from a police flyer. She snapped after remembering him talking to her young daughter, she said she "would do it again" if given the chance. • Oh look! It is a swimming hedgehog! And he's named Shming! Excuse me for a moment, I have to go see if you can nom a hedgehog. (Warning: The voices on the video may cause your head to explode).
So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish
Twenty-six dolphins died this week in an apparent mass suicide attempt in England, while others were led back out to sea by volunteers. A zoological pathologist examining the animals has determined that "The dolphins had swallowed and inhaled big chunks of mud from the estuary. Their lungs and stomachs were full of it." While there is no explanation yet for the mass killing, some have suggested it was due to Royal Navy submarine exercises in the area, a killer whale or infection. Douglas Adams' explanation, however, is after the jump. [The Guardian]
tyrant
Plus-Size Miss England Contestant Meets Tyra Banks, Is Naturally Confused
Chloe Marshall, aka Miss Surrey 2008, the first ever plus-size contestant in the Miss England beauty pageant, appeared on Tyra today for an episode about "embracing your big fat ass." (Those are TyTy's words, not mine.) Chloe says that in the pageant, which takes place next month, she will be wearing a bikini for the swimsuit competition. Tyra was a little more interested in talking about what kind of food Chloe eats. Then Tyra asked her how people say "throw up" in England…where they speak English. Clip above.
leftovers
Risque Teen Photos Reach Larger Audience • Maxi Mounds' Breast Augmentation Now Illegal
Teens' embarrassing risque photos no longer local, short-lived lapses in judgment thanks to quick pace and widespread popularity of the internet. • Turkish Constitutional Court is expected to deliver a ruling on Islamic head scarves in Turkish schools on Thursday. • Boob surgery that gave porn actress Maxi Mounds her record-breaking breasts has been banned in the UK. • Grandma's favorite publication, Reader's Digest, says "sexist cliches" are biological! • The NY Times' Barry Gewen tries to prove that a poorly-written, humorless book (his words) on gender equality in sports isn't so ridiculous after all. • German music festival highlights 18th-century female composers and classical musicians whose work has probably never been performed before. • Native American women in the Pacific Northwest go on annual root-digging mission that has both spiritual and edible purposes. • The Cinderella Ball, a prom for disabled students in the Washington D.C. area, brings teens and families together for a night of glam and glitz (and a performance from American Idol winner, Ruben!). • The Swedish Tax Board tells couple that "Elvis" is not an appropriate name for a girl. •
no shades of gray rape
The Rape Conviction Rate In Britain Is Pathetically Low
Less than 6% of rapes reported in England lead to convictions — and that's out of as few as 10% of rapes that are reported in the first place. I'm no mathematician, but the good people at the Washington Post have underscore the fact that those statistics are deplorable. The well-researched article by the Post's Mary Jordan is bookended by the tale of a 15-year-old London teen who was raped by a 28-year-old neighbor. Her mother immediately called the police, and yet it took several months for the police to question the rapist. The man was eventually set free, although he had a previous criminal record; the judge in the case said, he was "in a way a man of good character" because his prior convictions were non-violent. This is clearly not an isolated event, as a 2005 report commissioned by UK police described a "culture of skepticism" surrounding rape cases. And the horrors don't end there! More »
leftovers
More British Boys Are Growing Man Boobs • Indian Men Go Under The Knife To Get Beautiful
Rising obesity rates among British boys are behind the growing number of surgeries to reduce male breasts. • Nevada-based company creates toilet paper-alternative Biffy, or, as it is more commonly known, a bidet. • An international group of female ski jumpers sue the Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Winter Olympics for excluding women's ski jumping. • As more and more families struggle financially, extravagant proms are going out of style. • Women are largely underrepresented in clinical trials for depression and lung cancer. • British pet-owners hope to prove their dog, Bella, is oldest in the world (at least 25!). • Roman Catholic nun who pushed to expose sex abuse in Boston churches, died Saturday at 73. • India's economic boom is making some middle-class men consider plastic surgery. • Dating websites for the mentally disabled and those with diseases are gaining in popularity. • A new documentary explores the lives of Muslim gays and lesbians. • Elisabeth Fritzl may sue her father for therapy costs and emotional damages. • Some people never learn: a woman from Truckee, CA is arrested for drunk driving in same spot where she crashed while intoxicated five months earlier.
leftovers
"Untouchable" Girl Thrown On Fire • Low Weight And Education-Levels Linked
• A 6-year-old Indian girl was thrown into a fire by a man for being an untouchable. • People of Lesbos insulted by term 'lesbian', sue a gay rights group. • A 94-year old woman becomes Britain's oldest bride. • Sixty-nine percent of mothers ages 18 to 34 incur medical debt. • Afghanistan holds the world's highest maternal mortality rates. • Afghans also jail raped and abused women. • Another reason to switch to lipstick: lip gloss invites skin cancer. • Baby boomers complain that hearing loss puts strain on marriages. • Obesity prevention programs can reduce eating disorders as well as obesity. • Is there a link between a healthy weight and education? • Bare-bottomed prom invites get suspended. • Low birth-weight can lead to greater weight gain in adulthood. • 18th-century opera singers were the original celebrity bad-girls. • Breast-feeding is up: 3 in 4 moms breast-feed their infants.
leftovers
Strippers Lose Jobs To The Internet • The Simpsons Are Back on Venezuelan TV
Print journalists aren't the only ones losing jobs, strippers feel the burden of the digital age. • Iranian says Barbies are "destructive" and must be stopped. • Incarcerated 400-pound man loses 100 pounds, sues county for underfeeding. • Six conservative women talk about dating whiny liberal men. • Two teenagers are jailed for life for killing a goth woman. • Mexicans try to quell the anti-emo riots by promoting diversity among teens. • Lourdes basically has the coolest mom hand-me-downs to pick from. • National Lampoon launches website to rate prostitutes. • Scientists just realize that periods are awesome, can repair hearts. • American Family Association attack soap on lackluster gay kiss. • An ironically long article on shorthand text speak, lol grwn ups r so lam3! • The Simpsons are back in Venezuela! • Baseball star Roger Clemens had a relationship with Mindy McCready when she was 15 years old (he was 28 and married). • Easy mistake to make: Woman attacks boyfriend, thinking he is a porn actor. • "Chinese eatery specializes in penis." That is all you need to know.
Kids Today
Cyberbullying has gone completely bonkers. According to the UK tabloid The Sun, a 10-year-old girl from Cornwall posted obscene messages on the profile of a girl she knew while pretending to be an older male pederast. A relative of the victim went to police, and then the police issued a local warning. According to authorities, the 10-year-old came forward to her parents and admitted she was culprit after the warning was released. A Cornwall police spokesman said, "It was more cyber-bullying than paedophilia. It seems to be an isolated issue between these two youngsters." [The Sun]
clips
Plus-Size Miss England Contestant Would Like To See Your Bikini Line
She's 176 lbs. and she just might become the next Miss England. 17-year old Chloe Marshall says she entered the world of pageants to teach people that "big is beautiful." Surely with her winning smile and an attitude that's as gorgeous as her body, she'll go far. And if she doesn't? Well, Chloe says she'd love to make a career out of being a professional waxer. Dream big, Chloe. Watch a CNN piece on the amazing Miss Marshall, above.
leftovers
Avril Thinks It's All About Her; Men Are The "Vanilla Gender"
• Avril Lavigne teaches young girls the importance of narcissism. • Indianapolis is the most sexually satisfied city? Uh, okay. • France's only female 3-star chef is opening a cooking school in Valence. • Scientific breakthrough! Sexually inhibited women have a harder time getting off. • Men are the "vanilla gender" and are what female job performance is based on. • Women are often "being cheated" by microfinance programs, according to Time. We still gave to Kiva. • Prozac may cure lazy eye. • Accused rapists will not be prosecuted because the mentally disabled woman and alleged victim is not a "reliable" witness. • Almost 3,000 websites produce the bulk of child porn on the internet.
leftovers
Polygamist Wives "Inspire" Spring Trends; Jail Guards Tase Cat To Death
• Hot new trend: polygamist pastels? Yeah, whatever.• Facials that involve steam and extractions are bad for your skin. • NPR's "Fresh Air" host, Terry Gross, once got fired from a job as an inner-city school teacher. • Indigenous girls in Australia were forced to get contraceptive implants when they were as young as 12 years old. • The late Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop donated her entire fortune to charity. • Matthew Shepard's mother continues to campaign for gay rights. • Battered women get a "Princess Day to rebuild self-esteem. • The chief of police in Tehran was jailed after found nude with six women in a brothel raid. • In 5 years, scientists may be able to grow sperm from skin cells. • Stellamaris Mulaeh, a young Kenyan, tries to resolve ethnic divisions in her country. • Guards at an O.C. jail tased a cat to death. • Men are more likely than women to have mild cognitive impairment. • Adorable Iowans pull prank on neighbor's lawn and promise to help clean it up!
leftovers
Brigitte Bardot Is A Racist; Churchgoing Girls Are Apple Polishers
• Sure, yesterday was Black Day, but it was also Cake and Cunnilingus Day! • A blind man stabbed his fiancee for not wearing her engagement ring. • Mothers experience less eating problems than their drunk and childless peers.• The "D.C. Madam" was found guilty of prostitutin'. • Famous Muslim-hater, Brigitte Bardot, is on trial again for racist slurs. • The girls involved in a playground beatdown of a 10-year-old girl may face expulsion from school. • Gay couples are having trouble obtaining divorces. • Saudi female students and housewives plan Olympic dreams with controversial basketball team. • Social Darwinism? Girls who attend church religiously, are (possibly) harder workers.
leftovers
Oprah Makes Oz A Star; Girl Gangs In Central America; Why Men Are Idiots
Ed Note: We hear about and see so many stories that we can't find the time to comment on that we're gonna try something new: "Leftovers", a daily "accounting" of the stuff we had to leave behind. Let us know if you like it, and, obviously, feel free to click through on the stories and flesh them out for everybody.
• Oprah sells her old designer clothes to crazy fans. • Oprah to create a "Dr. Oz" TV show. • Central American girls flee abusive homes to join machista street gangs. • Cat poop coffee goes for £50 a cup at Sloane Square, London. • British man can't gain weight, hopes to "cure obesity." • Delude yourself into losing weight! • Miss World contestants have to prove that they actually care about helping people. • Woman photographs endearingly eccentric prostitutes in Las Vegas. • New book claims biological reasons for women becoming flustered and men being idiots. • A 42-year-old woman claims to having been forced to have sex with teens by her lover. • Baby Couture, a new magazine, shills for Prada Kids and makes a play-on-words with "flip-flops." • A man in Louisiana was denied a request to wear a short skirt in public. • Large-breasted gals told ill-fitting bras may be the root of their back pain.