It’s amazing what a nice meal and witnessing the most humiliating moment of Paul Ryan’s life can do for your spirit. Today is a good day and I’m ready for some shade justice.

Another round of emojis is expected in June to aid us in gradually phasing out unnecessary written and spoken language. Among the 69 potential useful selections are breastfeeding emojis, a Merman and Mermaid, a vomit emoji, and a genie, all of which seem pertinent to daily living.

Drake should be having a good week. On Saturday he released a new album and celebrated in London with his parents by his side. A ton of fucking people have listened to said album and Nicki Minaj likes him again. Unfortunately, Drake decided to undermine these blessings with a new tattoo that is somehow the pinnacle of…

Tyra Bank$ has launched a set of wonderful Tyra Banks and America’s Next Top Model related text stickers. They’re called TyTyMoji and you can use them now to harass your friends.

A reminder to anyone who wasn’t already feeling sick with fear at the prospect of our society’s swift and inevitable decline: there is going to be a movie about emojis, it is called—wait for it—Emojimovie: Express Yourself, and it is coming out next August. Maybe we’ll all be dead by then.

Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, for at last, all 66 books of the King James Version of the bible have been translated into emojis. Which philosopher was it who said that the dumbest ideas are also the most inevitable? I think maybe Kanye? Anyway:

If you’re having a good day and would instead like to feel like climbing into a one-woman spaceship and hurling yourself far away from this stupid planet, gather round and read yet another confused Slate think piece where someone tries to understand what the black people are up to.

Yesterday Amber Rose released her new emoji app, Muvamojis, and because we can’t have a minute of peace, people are already pitting her against Kim Kardashian and her Kimojis.

Last year, emojis reintroduced themselves in different skin tones, and now the Unicode Consortium is considering adding customizations that would allow you to change the gender of existing emoji.

Incredibly heartwarming and romantic: A young woman wore a poop emoji costume to ask a guy to homecoming.

An emoji movie is in the works, just as Satan decreed. :-| ;-/ :-] 8-) :0)

Apple admitted to MTV Act that their emojis aren't diverse enough. They're working with the Unicode Consortium – the non-profit corporation that standardizes software – to diversify them. That means emojis with people of all colors of the rainbow, which will definitely make your sex(ting) life much more accurate.