When I was first learning to masturbate, we didn’t have any of these fancy, newfangled vibrator shapes you young folk are getting yourselves off with. If a smooth cylinder couldn’t make you cum, tough shit.
For years, the OED went at least somewhat dignified with their new “words of the year” selections. In 2014 they selected “vape”; in 2013 it was “selfie”—two words we’d all dutifully added to our daily lives. But times are hard. So hard that the Dictionary’s celebrated addition this year is just... a picture.
Here’s some sad news for everyone still unironically using LOL to denote that they’re laughing out loud at something hilarious. Like LMAO, ROFL, and the less popular but very festive LOLWTFBBQ, the original way to abbreviate your laughter is being replaced by the even shorter “ha” and “he.”
An emoji movie is in the works, just as Satan decreed. :-| ;-/ :-] 8-) :0)
Emoji: You either love them or hate them. But it's a little bit better if you love them, a new study has found. That's because single people who use emoji allegedly have more sex and women who use certain emoji report that they reach orgasm faster. But what comes first — the orgasm or the emoji?
The fact that there's only one brown person emoji in the standard set of emojis — and the fact that said brown person is a male, wearing a turban — has not gone unrecognized in my family.
What do your most recent emoji choices say about you? That you're a romantic? That you love to party? That you're a crying/laughing cat who is so cool that you never take your sunglasses off? You don't have to guess. There's a new Tumblr that will psychoanalyze your emojis for you and tell you all about yourself!
The Internet is currently teeming with recaps of the story so far in Game of Thrones, as preparation for the show's season four premiere. But none match the peerless artistry of this refresher, told entirely in emoji. Spoilers, obviously.
It kills me that people have the time/energy/motivation for something like this when I often can't even muster up the energy to wave my dog away from the poop she's eating. Jesus Christ, Internet. What are you on? And where can I get it? (And do you accept bitcoin?)
Some enterprising human has come along and put the final nail in the coffin that holds the quivering body of the written language as a relevant medium. As you can yourself discern, this emoji biography of Miley Cyrus possesses a remarkably coherent story line — could the written word do it justice? Probably not.
If there's one thing that still sucks about living in a technologically-advanced society in the year 2013, it's the fact that we're all expected to communicate with one another using long strings of words that (ugh) sometimes abide by the rules of grammar. How has technology not eliminated this inconvenience yet? I…
Womanzine's Emoji issue (!!!) is chock-full of emotive goodness — emoji haiku, emojis we all wish existed (example: "Did I leave my scarf at your house?"), slut-shaming emoji, The Shining summarized in emoji — it's dreamy.