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hookers, victims & doormats
Ellen Page To Star As One Of English Literature's Saddest Sacks
Another day, another round of casting announcements chock full of stereotypes. While older actresses like Susan Sarandon have their pick of saucy-yet-loving-powerful-woman roles, the younger actresses who have yet to convince everyone they're talented sometimes pick up a few victim roles along their march to Serious Actress territory. Maybe it's because they are still pretty "fresh faces", but these talented actresses still succumb to playing victimized lovers, even in supposedly intellectual and interesting films. In this edition of Hookers, Victims, and Doormats, Ellen Page pretends she is "plain" in Jane Eyre and Eva Mendes continues to mimic Angelina Jolie's action film career. All that and more after the jump! More »
crappy hour
Barack Obama Doesn't Look Too Psyched About That Beer
Fifty thousand people are dead or close to it in Burma, and Barack Obama can state unequivocally that he does not drink designer beer. Seventy five percent of American adults will at some point be impoverished. The average American car owner really must save $30 this summer. Chris Hitchens believes Barack Obama may be pussy-whipped. Ellen Page believes Burmese dictator Than Shwe is a modern Hitler. And when tomorrow comes, Terry McAuliffe believes everyone will be saying that Hillary Clinton did better than they thought she was going to do in both the North Carolina and Indiana primaries tonight. Now there's a statement Glamocracy Megan and I can get behind! After the jump, an unusually hip-hop laden edition of Crappy Hour. More »
missdemeanors
"Pregnancy Slowly Turns Even The Hottest Chicks Into Monsters"
Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. There was sooooo much bullshit this week, including a lovely diatribe about feminists by your friend Drunken Stepfather. Also! Pregnant women are "monsters," Sharon Stone "looks her age," Jennifer Love Hewitt has a "big ass" and so much more. Another great week of "writing" on the internet! The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after the jump. More »
critical mass
Smart People Is The Type Of Film That, Well, Smart People Have Seen Before
Smart People is a new movie that tries to be both quirky and semi-intellectual by putting respectable actors in roles that they had already successfully played in movies made by more creative people. Dennis Quaid plays Lawrence, a douchebaggy literature professor, who has a wise-cracking, vintage-wearing teenage daughter (Juno! I mean, Ellen Page) and starts a relationship with beautiful but romantically-awkward woman (Sarah Jessica Parker) through whom he has to learn how to be a nicer person. Oh yeah, he also has a lazy but lovable brother played by Thomas Haden Church, who provides some comic relief. But what do the critics have to say? Can they successfully point out all of the hilarious subtle references to life in the intelligentsia? Can they get through an entire review without calling the movie "Stupid People?" The collected reviews after the jump. More »
dirt bag
Jay-Z & Beyoncé's Next Hit: 'Here Comes The Bride'
- Beyoncé and Jay-Z have taken out a marriage license! In Westchester, NY! They have up to 60 days to tie the knot. Where do you think they're registered? And what do you get the couple who has everything? [NY Post]
- Post-rehab Eva Mendes is "taking a break and having a good time" by exercising and being with her family. Bo-ring. [People]
- Jane Fonda has a new boyfriend, Lynden Gillis, who met her when he asked for her autograph at a book signing. They "met cute!" [Page Six]
- Um, we saw pictures on X17 of Lisa Rinna kissing a man who was not her husband Harry Hamlin. She was clad in a bathrobe and drinking wine. The pix were taken yesterday in Malibu. More info to come!
- Heather Mills: Vowing to break up Paul McCartney's new romance? [Mirror]
clips
Did Ellen Page Officially Come Out As A Lezebel On SNL?
There's been some back-fence internet talk lately of like, "Ooh, I think Ellen Page is gay." 1.) As though that's like a scandal or a big deal or something; and 2.) Duh! Page sorta made fun of the whole thing last night in a skit on SNL where she plays a "straight" girl who went to a Melissa Etheridge concert and loved the whole experience. The bit doesn't end with a sarcastic joke, but with a hug and acceptance from Andy Samberg (who plays her boyfriend), and then flashes to the SNL bumper shot of Page in a leather jacket.
clips
Barbara Walters Confesses To Ellen Page That She Doesn't Like The Moldy Peaches
Barbara Walters' Oscar Special isn't really exciting because of who she interviews (this time around it was Harrison Ford, Vanessa Williams, Ellen Page and Miley Cyrus) but how she interacts with them: The woman has a knack for camp. Maybe it's her accent (or speech impediment, whichever you prefer), or the fact that she was around when God was but a young boy, but whatever the case, we really enjoy her quirkiness. In the clip above, watch her best questions from each interview, including her curiosity as to why anyone would ever want to listen to the Moldy Peaches.
the good, the bad, & the ugly
"Fishy" Is Fabulous: Oscar Fashion 2008
Thank God for Oscar fashion because the awards themselves dragged... on... forever. And on last night's red carpet? Lots of, well, red. Heidi Klum, Miley Cyrus, Katherine Heigl, Anne Hathaway, Ruby Dee, and Helen Mirren were just some of the women who matched their gowns to the carpet they were posing on. But the absolute best looks were seen on the women who opted for something a little less traditional: Like Marion Cotillard's fish-scale mermaid gown by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Cotillard looked radiant, palpitating with natural beauty and joie de vivre. Also gorgeous? Cate Blanchett, pregnant in purple Dries Van Noten, and Amy Adams, sultry in deep green Proenza Schouler. Those who swung and missed? Diablo Cody, Cameron Diaz and Renee Zellweger. And Lord have mercy on Sarah "I'm Dating George Clooney" Lawson: Her ugly-ass table-cloth dress was the worst of the worst in my book. You can take the girl out of Fear Factor, but you can't take the Fear Factor out of the girl. Photo galleries of the Good, Bad, and Ugly of Oscar style, after the jump. More »
the good, the bad & the ugly
Independent Spirit Awards Attendees Stuck To B&W
The Independent Spirit Awards are sort like the alt-prom to the Oscars: The so-called "indie" crowd — plus mainstream celebs posing as hipsters for the evening — turn out to honor work that is supposedly not part of the Hollywood machine. As an added punch, ELLE sponsored the event, and I wonder: did the magazine also issue a dress code of mostly black and white? Even my beloved Cate Blanchett, left, seemed in less than top form: Her black and brown combo seems comfy enough, given she is pregnant, but her shoes made my heart scream, "Noooooooooooo." The full Good, Bad, and Ugly of the Independent Spirit Awards, after the jump. More »
"Not in the slightest... it happens to be a film about a girl who has a baby and gives it to a yuppie couple... Like, I'm really sorry to everyone that she doesn't have an abortion, but that's not what the film is about. She goes to an abortion clinic and she completely examines all the opportunities and all the choices allowed her and that's obviously the most crucial thing. It's as simple as that. I call myself a feminist when people ask me if I am, and of course I am 'cause it's about equality, so I hope everyone is." -Oscar nominated actress Ellen Page on whether her film Juno is a pro-life movie. [Washington Post]
hookers, victims & doormats
Best Actress Oscar Nominees Aren't All Victims
This year's female acting Oscar nominees are a strange bunch of characters — and no, we don't mean the narcissistic actresses themselves. While the Supporting Actress field is rife with Hollywood's version of the female victim, the Best Actress category has some complicated characters that have too damn much going on emotionally for us to be able to tell decide if they were victims (or hookers, or doormats) or not! After all, tragedy doesn't equate victimhood and playing tough doesn't necessarily make one a hero. After the jump, we break down the characters — and ask you to tell us who's a victim, who's a hooker, who's a doormat, and who's on the fence. (Hint: We consult our Magic 8-Ball.) More »
awards season
Oscar Noms 2008: Women Can Write, Not Direct
The Oscar ceremony may not happen this year, but the nominations themselves, just announced, prove that women are making inroads as writers. In addition to actress noms for Cate Blanchett (for both I'm Not There and Elizabeth: The Golden Age) and Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Laura Linney, and Ellen Page, the Best Original Screenplay category was female-dominated, with 4 out of the 5 nominated films boasting women writers (an additional writing nod was given to Sarah Polley for Best Adapted Screenplay for I'm Not There). Interestingly (and not surprisingly), not a single Best Director nomination went to a woman; are women just not being given the opportunity to direct by the Hollywood establishment? Or are their efforts just not being recognized? Contemplate this while checking out the full list of nominees, after the jump. More »
We're not sure whether to laugh or cry at this, but Ellen Page will grace the cover of Teen Vogue. (This will probably, and hopefully, be the only time in her life that Ellen follows in Lauren Conrad's hallowed footsteps.) We trust that Ellen will remain as wonderfully salty as she normally is and that she scandalizes Wintour's army of Voguettes with talk of her haunted whorehouse. [Fashionista]
