Jezebel
cover lies
Posts Tagged “
Elle
”
cover lies
MagHag UK
Okay, so I knew who Sienna Miller was, but I didn't know that she was dating someone named Rhys Ifans — throughout the story I actually thought "Ifans" was UK slang for the iPhone enabled citizen paparazzi, so I was sort of confused — and he is older than her and she is super happy. "The big, big thing I've discovered, the big secret, is that it's all about how happy you are. People forget your flaws and imperfections if they see you're happy." Put another way, they forget your existence if they see you are happy and it's with someone who the photo evidence would not be sufficiently valuable to make it worthwhile trying to destroy said happiness, but whatever. Oh! She's in a movie with Keira Knightley written by Keira Knightley's mom and she claims she had to gain weight for the part. (Lindsay Lohan was supposed to have the role.) (God what a fucking trainwreck just typing those words….) (Click pic for more.)
MagHag: Dick In A
Via an intern: "The highlight of July Elle's fall fashion preview is this dick-in-a-purse shot. The bag is $4800. The weirdly wide-stanced dude, presumably, is extra." [Elle]
post partum
So About That Harrowing "Ring Of Fire" Story…
We've written rather extensively on the month's Elle, but there is a meta elephant in the room we've been ignoring because, well duh. It's about what happens to your vagina during childbirth, and it's called "Ring of Fire," apparently an oft-used term for what happens during those final moments before the baby's head rips through your vadge. An additional, uh, "elephant" is that the author obviously read The Rachel Papers, the requisite horrifying exchange we've excerpted after the jump. But anyway. Author claims her vadge returns to something approaching normalcy and that sex is now good. Hm. Okay, so if you want to get married and have kids, you probably believe it's possible for sex to remain good and normal and lusty years into marriage. And it is. Maybe your parents did. Maybe you know one of those women who outrageously got pregnant again, like, right after the first baby came. My grandmother had seven kids and four miscarriages. I don't think she breastfed. I wasn't fucking breast fed, but my brother and sister were, and they're the ones who got all the allergies… More »
When Dudes Read Elle…
That crooked nose. That untamed hair. The enormous appetite. The hottest girl in the room isn’t who you think. Why pretty isn’t (always) sexy. Yeah, it's another Elle story about obsessive-compulsive appearance evaluation syndrome betraying just enough honesty to touch off a flurry of those "must flee this fucking town" synapses that generally prevent me from finishing magazine stories these days. (Also: it's by Walter Kirn.) Luckily, there are men in other cities, like reader Bryce of Knoxville, Tennessee, who read the story on the internet late at night with an anonymous buddy and felt compelled to send us the transcript of their IM conversation. Click the pic to read the mystified musings of two innocent dudes when confronted with the heretical insecurity porn peddled by our nation's women's magazines. [Elle]
coverlies
What The Elle? Layered Cutout Swimsuits Do A "Body Issue" Bad
So, not to rain on anyone's umbrella or anything, but have you ever noticed? Rihanna = not that pretty! (Maybe it's the haircut?) There, I've said it. I know it's against the rules here, but sometimes you gotta break the rules, even if you just made them up on Monday, and anyway: who cares? She's a singer. Why is she supposed to be some sort of style icon? Because some stylist told her to wear a gold lame American Apparel bikini under her dress as a bra because that's what they're doing right now? Anyway, moving on, this week we had help from Anonymous Supermodel Tatiana, who commended Elle for finding a model, "Valentine," without visible back ribs and noticed that the magazine seems to enjoy sticking its regular fad diet story line in the same place between the E and the L. What does it all mean? Fuck if we know. We rewrite the cover lines so you don't have to feel guilty sticking to Neverland on the beach this month! More »
annals of anorexia
Should You Sleep In Saran Wrap? Eat Only Every Other Day? Elle Answers Your Pressing Diet Questions!
This I will say for Elle: The magazine's journalistic standards may be miles above their peers in fashion magazining, it might be the only women's magazine targeted at my age group I don't want to kill myself reading, but. Never did this publication let any sort of "mission" put a damper on its steady stream of "insane diets you can try if you are insane" features. The stories have the same arc: I came, I starved, I looked temporarily hotter wearing something completely impractical someplace completely idiotic, I bought $973 worth of fancy supplements and talked to two "experts"...yeah fuck all that, cheese. Anyway after last month's anemic juice fast story, I thought I was over this genre. Then I read "Fast Times: Could Eating Every Other Day Have The Same Payoff As Full-Time Calorie Restriction?" (Um: if you can handle starving every other day, sure!) But that was just the start. Ten pages later: More »
rag trade
Meet Karenna, Martha Stewart's Wardrobe Mistress
- Martha Stewart has a wardrobe mistress paint the soles of her Christian Louboutins black. We would endorse this, as we take most of our fashion cues from the fictional character Cayce Pollard in William Gibson's Pattern Recognition and think that conspicuous logos are the scourge of the universe, but blogging about the fact that you not only remove said logos but have a "wardrobe mistress" to do it for you is not exactly inconspicuous. And yet...I love her? [The Martha Blog]
- Ooooh, promo shots from Stylista, the new Tyra-produced reality show wherein the winner gets to be the assistant to known-psychopath Anne Slowey! Anne, an Elle editor, is one of those fashion people who is driven batshit by persistent fad dieting, but the resultant batshitism, in an industry whose shallowness is matched only by its aloofness, can be kind of endearing, unless you are her assistant. Ratings gold! [Fashionologie]
- Tori Spelling and her son are shilling for Skechers, which I find fitting. I mean, Skechers is sort of the Tori Spelling of shoe brands, and if you don't believe me I'm here to remind you the company was founded by the same guy who brought the world L.A. Gear. [SassyBella]
rag trade
Sarah Jessica Parker's Shoes Reveal That She's Fiercely Really Into Fashion
- After much consideration I have decided that I do not care at all what the personal footwear choices of the Sex and the City stars say about their personalities. [LA Times]
- Speaking of Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker says that her son only wears his older cousin's hand-me-downs and has never been given new clothes, other than shoes. [US Weekly]
- Another day, more people fired from ELLE. This time, on the dot-com side. Maybe Nina will give them jobs over at Marie Claire? [WWD, 1st item]
- Rachel Zoe does not want to talk about being disinvited from the Met Costume Institute Gala thankyouverymuch. [US Weekly]
- In case you were wondering, Cindy Crawford will be celebrating Mother's Day with breakfast in bed. [Reuters]
MagHag
Breaking news! Former Elle fashion director Nina Garcia is (purportedly) unemployed no more. Apparently we'll be hearing any minute now that she's taken a "major position" at Marie Claire. Marie Claire, you might remember, is also rumored to be taken over the sponsorship spot once held by Elle for the sixth season of Project Runway, when it begins airing on Lifetime. Which would mean that Nina could keep her judging spot on The Greatest Show on Earth, too. So again we ask: What does it all mean? Eh, fuck if we know. Congrats, Nina. [NYMag via Fashion Week Daily]
rag trade
Is Marie Claire Taking Over Elle's Sloppy Project Runway Seconds?
- More rumored changes for The Greatest Show On Earth, Project Runway: Season 6 of the show, the first to be broadcast on Lifetime, may feature "More Than A Pretty Face" magazine Marie Claire in lieu of Elle as the affiliated fashion magazine sponsor. [WWD, 1st item]
- Whoah: Are New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn and Skeletor/stylist Rachel Zoe more similar than we could have ever imagined? Possibly, if it's true that Cathy Horyn was also mysteriously not invited to the dinner and dancing portion of tonight's Costume Institute festivities. [Fashion Week Daily]
- And what does legendary costume designer Bob Mackie not like about the fashion industry? "Doing a fashion show that's on for 20 minutes and then it's over and everybody runs to the next one. Nobody sings, nobody dances, nobody tells jokes. I found it quite unsatisfying." I second that emotion. [WWD, sub req'd]
Last night on Ugly Betty, former Elle fashion director Nina Garcia and Project Runway winner Christian Siriano visited the offices of Mode magazine so that Christian could preview his wares for its editorial team. Interestingly, the episode featured four utterances of Christian Siriano's full name (considering the show is only about 40 minutes without commercials, that averages to once every ten minutes), two uses of the word "fierce," one of "ferosh," and one of "hot tranny mess" — directed at Rebecca Romijn's character, who, of course, is an actual transsexual.
rag trade
Pookie: The Magical Force That Bonded Tory Burch To The Misshapes
- Who is Tory Burch's elusive 23-year old stepdaughter Pookie? On Mondays, Pookie interns for Bruce Weber, and the rest of the week she works as the assistant to the president of Carolina Herrera, and she was (allegedly) responsible for the magical pairing of New York's leading faux-WASP ice princess with Princess Coldstare, but alas, we have scoured the Google and cannot find a picture of her. So this will have to do. [Fashion Week Daily]
- M.I.A has designed her own eponymous clothing line, which is really brightly colored so that, "if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, 'Oy! Give me my shirt back!'" Oy is right! [WWD, 3rd item]
- Tinsley Mortimer, you see, is not a bad designer of handbags, it's just that she made the mistake of trying to sell them in Japan. "Japanese girls have no use for clutches because they just go to the clubs right after work. They are so different from New York. Stylewise, colorwise, stylewise. It's very youth-oriented. I'm designing for women between the ages of 20 and 40... But in Japan, after 25, it's like, basically, you're dead." [NYMag]
clips
Nina Garcia Glares At Mention Of Affair On Ugly Betty
This week on Ugly Betty, the staffers at the fictitious Mode magazine get a little visit from Nina Garcia and this season's Project Runway winner, Christian Siriano. The whole thing is, of course, a little awkward since 1) Nina has since been fired from Elle, 2) Christian Siriano seems to be mocking his own garments and 3) Nina looks shocked and downright offended when Gabrielle Union's character, currently dating Mode editor-in-chief Daniel Meade, appears during the middle of the run-through and accuses Daniel of cheating on her with a bunch of whores (aka - models). Um, has Nina really never heard of a fashion magazine editor having an affair before? Clip of the leaked scene, above.
rag trade
Nina Garcia Thinks Your Birth Control Is Aesthetically Unpleasing
- It's official: Nina Garcia is officially a has-been. The recently-fired Elle fashion director is now partnering with Bayer and Yaz to judge a contest in which people submit designs for a new little case to hold birth control pills. I don't know about you, but I like the purple faux-suede "wallet" that my Yasmin comes in just the way it is. [Fashionista]
- OMG sneak peek of Nina and Christian Siriano's performance on this week's Ugly Betty. [Sassybella]
- Radiohead: Fighting sweatshops. [Yahoo]
- Fergie is so P.C.: "I really love people who wear fashions of their own culture; they really touch me and inspire me. I'd like to call myself cultured and not just because I travel a lot and see various hotel rooms. I love driving around, seeing what people on the street are wearing, I would even ask my driver to take me to a cool, young part of town for inspiration. If I went to Africa I would come back with tons of different things, because I truly wouldn't find those things anywhere else." [Chic Report]
OMG: Fired Elle fashion director Nina Garcia was just seen exiting the Hearst building. What does it all mean????? [Fashionista]
rag trade
Donatella Versace Expresses Love For Fellow Blondes
- Donatella Versace loves Hillary Clinton but thinks she should dress more like Donatella Versace if she wants to nab the presidency. [Vogue UK]
- But forget politics — where are we, Washington D.C.? — Donatella would much rather meet Martha Stewart. [Fashion Week Daily]
- This week on Ugly Betty, recently fired ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia will appearing alongside Project Runway winner Christian Siriano. But in the season finale, ELLE's Nina-ousters Robbie Myers and Joe Zee will be appearing on the show, in a storyline featuring a softball game. Needless to say, this would seem to indicate a rapproachment on the level with Nixon meeting Mao, except when you remember that the common goal is not being on TV. [WWD, 3rd item]
- How the fuck did Heidi Montag's clothing line outsell Victoria Beckham's at Kitson's? [TMZ]
rag trade
Frances Bean Cobain: Modeling For Chanel?
- Frances Bean Cobain is rumored to be the next face of Chanel. That's hot. And also crazy. Oh, Karl. [Vogue UK]
- Louis Vuitton has postponed indefinitely its "China Run" car rally, which was originally scheduled to take place in late May with a route from Chengdu and Kunming. Reason? Um, it's not exactly cool to be supporting China's blatant disregard for human rights right now and France is all pissed re: the Olympics etc etc. [WWD, sub req'd]
- Also, Yohji Yamamoto wants to teach China about Peace and improve relations though the country and his native Japan through his new Yohji Yamamoto Fund For Peace. This will mainly involve fashion shows. Of course. [WWD, sub req'd]
- Also China's on the warning list for counterfeiting shit. Oh, China. [WWD, sub req'd]
- Tommy Hilfiger, ambiguously racist? Says the designer, "[W]e feel that with our European-influenced approach, the sophisticated and higher level of quality and fashion somehow reaches the type of people who represent the brand very well... Ten years ago it was positioned with a lot of red, white and blue and a lot of logos and you would look at these street kids wearing the clothes as billboards." [FT]
