Democratic Candidates Apparently Can't Bring Themselves to Say the Word 'Abortion' Onstage

It seemed odd to a lot of people that the Democratic candidates debated each other on five separate occasions without being asked about abortion. The situation became much more curious last night, when Bernie Sanders finally raised the issue — but without using the word “abortion.” Clinton, too, never used the actual…

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Carly Fiorina Swears to God, If You Keep Her Off That Fucking Debate Stage Again, So Help Her

After Tuesday night in New Hampshire, neither Carly Fiorina nor Ben Carson should be running for president anymore. Yet both of them still are, for some reason, and Fiorina is emphasizing how supremely pissed she’ll be if she’s not part of the next GOP debate. Let’s all sit back and wait for Carly to get supremely…

Bill Clinton Criticizes Berniebros As Woman Who Accused Him of Assault Says She'll Rally Against Hillary

None other than Bill Clinton is criticizing the Berniebro phenomenon, saying at an event in New Hampshire this weekend that Sanders supporters subject his wife’s supporters online to sexist and “profane” attacks. Meanwhile, Kathleen Willey, a woman who in 1998 accused Bill Clinton of groping her, has reportedly signed…

Fox Pundit: Hillary Clinton's Desire to Be First Woman President Is 'Bra-Burning' 

One delightful thing about this campaign season will surely be the smart, self-aware, non-obnoxious ways people who don’t like Hillary Clinton talk about her. Like the always reliable media critics at Fox & Friends, who are merely pointing out that isn’t her campaign, in a way, just “bra-burning”?

Is Hillary Clinton Part of the 'Establishment'? Hillary: 'I Don't Understand What That Means'

Like the stodgiest rappers on Earth arguing about who’s more legit, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have been engaged this week in a slow-motion beef over who, precisely, belongs to the “political establishment.” You may be surprised to learn Hillary Clinton does not think seem to think she is in that club.

As an Attorney, Death Penalty Enthusiast Ted Cruz Really Loved Describing Brutal Crimes 

Texas Senator and presidential candidate Ted Cruz has never exactly hidden his passion for the death penalty—it’s a love that speaks its name over and over whenever he talks in public. As the New York Times lays out today, his passion took a somewhat more unseemly form when he was a Supreme Court Clerk, where he…

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders Feud Over Her Endorsement from Planned Parenthood 

Earlier this month, Planned Parenthood took the unusual step of endorsing Hillary Clinton, the first time they’ve endorsed a candidate during a primary race. Bernie Sanders told Rachel Maddow Tuesday night that Planned Parenthood and other major nonprofits are endorsing Clinton because they’re part of “the…

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Rand Paul Boycotts Undercard Debate, Because the Media, Polls, Reality Can't Tell Him What to Do

After months of poll numbers collapsing like a once proud but increasingly weary hairdo, Rand Paul was relegated to the “undercard” GOP debate planned for Thursday night, at No One Is Paying Attention O’Clock. He is not going, because this represents the media and the RNC toying with him.

Trump Will Roll Up His Scottish Golf Courses and Take Them Away if the UK Bars Him From Entering

The best way to succeed in both business and politics is a little light blackmail, as Donald Trump, an unkempt troll doll found floating facedown in a tub of rancid Beluga caviar, would tell you. Which is why the Trump Organization is threatening to pull one jillion dollars (their figure, roughly) of investments out…

Juanita Broaddrick Tweets About Bill Clinton Rape Allegations, Refers to Him as "My Abuser" 

In a not-surprising development, rape allegations against Bill Clinton are getting fresh circulation. Juanita Broaddrick, who says Clinton raped her in a hotel in 1978 and who first disclosed the incident in 1999, tweeted Wednesday that she is still suffering after Bill raped her and Hillary Clinton “tried to silence…

John Kasich Didn't Know About the Oregon Militia, Kinda Like Most People Don't Know He's Still Running 

Ohio Governor John Kasich probably isn’t going to be president, unless you’re part of the roughly two percent of the Republican voting public who want him to be president and you’re very persuasive. But that doesn’t make it any less hilarious that a man running for that office would hear the words “Oregon militia”…