Donald Trump Would Support Registry for Muslim-Americans; A Literal Fascist Now Leading GOP Polls

In the summer of 1938, the Hitler regime began requiring Jews to carry identification cards identifying their religion, and carry passports stamped with the letter J. In 2015, Donald Trump, a dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots, told Yahoo that he would be looking “very, very carefully” at mosques… »11/19/15 1:00pm11/19/15 1:00pm


How Did the Secret Service Choose Ben Carson's Awful Code Name?

Weeks after grousing that the Secret Service was refusing to protect him due to his Republicanism, both aggravated giant duckling Donald Trump and fellow front-runner Ben Carson have been assigned Secret Service security details. Someone needed to think through Ben Carson’s name just a touch longer. »11/10/15 6:10pm11/10/15 6:10pm

I Have Questions About Donald Trump's Plan to Make Everyone Say 'Merry Christmas' Again

Man-shaped asbestos insulation board and presidential candidate Donald Trump was in Springfield, Illinois yesterday, checking his appearance in every reflective surface and talking about when he’s president. Chiefly, he promised, “If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” »11/10/15 10:50am11/10/15 10:50am

Nobel Peace Prize Winner Likely to Be Elected President in Myanmar, But Will Be Barred from Taking Office 

Myanmar is holding its first more-or-less free election in decades, and opposition leader and Nobel Peace Prize winner Nobel Aung San Suu Kyi is on track to be elected president by a landslide. She will be barred from taking office, however, because she had a foreign spouse and children with British citizenship. »11/09/15 9:15am11/09/15 9:15am

'Live From New York, a Racist Piece of Shit!': Protesters Greet Donald Trump Outside Saturday Night Live 

Late Saturday night, enlarged pee-spattered Sno-Cone and presidential candidate Donald Trump will take the stage to host Saturday Night Live. Protesters from a coalition of Latino groups gathered outside the Trump Tower this evening and marched south to 30 Rockefeller Center to express their displeasure, some carrying… »11/07/15 10:47pm11/07/15 10:47pm

Spitting and Sweating, Anti-Gay Pastor Kevin Swanson Welcomes Huckabee and Jindal to Weird, Weird Conference

Friday and Saturday in Des Moines, Iowa, anti-gay pastor Kevin Swanson is holding what he’s termed the National Religious Liberties Conference. Half a day in, it’s already been a bizarre event, with Swanson ranting about gays, abortion, and the rise of “vampirism and cannibalism” in America. Also, presidential… »11/06/15 7:00pm11/06/15 7:00pm

Saturday Night Live Has Dealt With Trump-Level Backlash Before. It Didn't End Well.

A number of well-respected Latino organizations aren’t that pleased that “Crafty Mexican Immigrants are Rapists and Criminals” Donald Trump will be hosting this week’s Saturday Night Live. They’re protesting outside Rockefeller Center and delivering a petition calling for the show to “Dump Trump.” They won’t get their… »11/06/15 11:30am11/06/15 11:30am

Republican Presidential Candidates Are a Bunch of Whiners

Can something be both a seven-story dumpster fire and more dull than watching a football field’s worth of paint dry one centimeter at a time? With their GOP debate last night, CNBC answered that one resoundingly in the affirmative. The outraged, performative yelping from both the candidates and conservative news… »10/29/15 9:22am10/29/15 9:22am

Clinton and O'Malley Denounce Brutal Video of Student Arrest at Spring Valley High School

A video of a female student being violently thrown to the ground and arrested by a sheriff’s deputy at Spring Valley High School in Columbia, South Carolina is quickly becoming a campaign issue. Both Hillary Clinton and Martin O’Malley’s campaigns are calling the arrest unacceptable, with O’Malley reacting to it with… »10/27/15 9:48am10/27/15 9:48am

Impoverished Urchin Donald Trump Once Accepted a 'Small Loan of a Million Dollars' From His Daddy

Donald Trump did a live town hall Monday morning with Matt Lauer on the Today Show. We got to hear his own hard luck story, as a small-time real estate developer with virtually no one to lean on except a dad who had a $1 million laying around. It was moving. »10/26/15 11:10am10/26/15 11:10am

Overwhelming Democratic Favorite Jim Webb to Drop Out of Race, No, How Could This Happen

Reports began trickling out an hour ago that overwhelmingly popular Democratic candidate Jim Webb, a guy who a strong two percent of the base said they might consider voting for, will be leaving the Democratic primary race. An hour from now, he’s expected to rise from the ashes as an independent candidate and, yes,… »10/20/15 12:50pm10/20/15 12:50pm

Hey, Quick Question: What Should Donald Trump's Secret Service Code Name Be?

Last week, Donald Trump whined that the mean Department of Homeland Security isn’t giving him a Secret Service security detail because he’s a Republican. Today, an unreliable report says he’s getting one, along with Ben Carson. Even if it’s not true, we must ask: What’s the best code name for the Donald? »10/19/15 1:52pm10/19/15 1:52pm