Sorry, Republicans. Young Women Will Never Vote For You.

Stop me if you've heard this one: the Republican party can't help but notice that women don't like them much. Thankfully, they've got a fancy new consulting firm ON THE CASE. They've got pamphlets. They've got a polished message and nice fingernails. They've got pretty much the same plan they had after 2008, and, uh,… » 11/12/13 1:20pm 11/12/13 1:20pm

All Top Public Officials From New Hampshire Are Now Women

Yesterday, voters in the state of New Hampshire did the unthinkable: elected a female governor, elect a woman to one Congressional district and re-elect a woman to the other Congressional district. Which means that The Granite State's entire Congressional delegation — two Senators, two Representatives — and its… » 11/07/12 7:00pm 11/07/12 7:00pm

What Happens When a High School Uses the Electoral College to Vote for …

Right now, pundits are salivating over Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Colorado, and Nevada — because they are THE BATTLEGROUNDS. Everyone in all of the other states have accepted that during election years, we can all wear sweatpants whenever we leave the house since we almost… » 11/05/12 1:10pm 11/05/12 1:10pm

Recently Beleaguered Pro-Life Politician Romances the Ladies with…

Scott DesJarlais, pro-wrestling action figure, licensed physician, Tennessee statesmen, and eligible bachelor (laydeeeez!) who doesn't let an antiquated ceremony like marriage stop him from finding his soulmate, is facing some new trouble in his bid for reelection to the House of Representatives — a second former… » 10/28/12 4:00pm 10/28/12 4:00pm

Babies, Khakis and Minivans: Meet the Women Behind those 'Concerned Mom' …

As November approaches, she'll become so ubiquitous that you'll swear you know her. You overhear her conversations with her husband, you see the concern on her face as she balances a baby on her hip while musing aloud about the future of Medicare. Barack Obama wants to take my baby's piggy bank, she'll say, in a less… » 9/20/12 2:10pm 9/20/12 2:10pm

Tammy Baldwin Is a Totally Gross Lesbian for Daring Dance at Gay Pride …

If all goes according to plan, come November, Wisconsin Rep. Tammy Baldwin will become the first openly LGBT person elected to the US Senate. But if all goes according to the, uh, Chick-fil-A agenda of one of her opponent's top aides, Baldwin will be defeated, because this one time in 2010, she danced onstage at a gay… » 9/11/12 3:30pm 9/11/12 3:30pm

Bill Clinton Brings Down the House, But All We Can Talk About Is…

The 2012 election is still 61 days away, but reporters and the public alike are already over it. Can't say I blame them — this year's process has already worn my neurons down to frayed, dysfunctional wires that register nothing phrases like "create opportunity" and "get America working" like actual sentences that mean… » 9/06/12 11:10am 9/06/12 11:10am

Ann Romney's 'My Husband Isn't Terrible!' Speech Moved to Primetime

Woo! It's political convention season! Pancake stage makeup and suits in primary colors and televised political tough talk and speeches given by a candidate's non-political expert loved ones designed to show Americans that, if elected, the candidate's policies would be the equivalent of making gentle marital love to… » 8/27/12 12:10pm 8/27/12 12:10pm

Claire McCaskill Mysteriously Pulls Ahead of Todd Akin in Polls

In the days after letting it slip that he believes that rape victims shouldn't be allowed to have abortions because if it's a "legitimate rape," the female body has ways to "shut that whole thing down," Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin bragged that even though he's pretty much a human-shaped bag of biohazardous garbage, … » 8/23/12 3:20pm 8/23/12 3:20pm

Network Airing Hawaii Five-O Instead of Ann Romney's RNC Speech

Ann Romney is scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention this Monday night, but if you were interested in watching her go on and on about how her husband is a crazy, fun-loving guy who impersonates police officers and is as passionate about cutting gay kids' hair as he is about cutting the deficit, you're … » 8/23/12 1:20pm 8/23/12 1:20pm

Todd Akin Was Probably Going to Win the Missouri Senate Race Before He …

Missouri Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill probably helped Rep. Todd Akin achieve greater political prominence when she decided that it'd be better to face a six-term congressman in the looming Missouri Senate race than an opponent who didn't have a previous voting record to criticize. With tea-party fervor strong in… » 8/20/12 10:25pm 8/20/12 10:25pm