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Happy Hump Day: Poll Shows Clinton and Trump Are Essentially Tied 

A new national poll of 1,610 registered voters released by Quinnipiac University found that 40 percent supported Donald Trump while 42 percent supported Hillary Clinton, with a margin of error of 2 percentage points. But listen guys! Hey! Don’t panic! It’s just a poll! Wait, where are you going? To Vancouver? Fair…

A Collection of Very Dumb Republican Thoughts on the Brexit

Yesterday, the UK voted—essentially by accident, both on the part of the pompous drip who called the referendum and the voters who didn’t bother to learn what it meant—to exit the European Union. Today, David Cameron resigned, the pound plunged to its lowest level since 1985, global financial markets plummeted, and …

Resentful Florida Teen Will Seek Senate Reelection After All, and Honestly, Why Do You Guys Even Care, Go Away

“I have only said like 1000 times I will be a private citizen in January,” failed Republican presidential candidate and agitated ninth grader Marco Rubio tweeted approximately one month ago, in response to a Washington Post story that suggested he was unsure about his political future. On Wednesday, the Washington…

After All That, Corey Lewandowski Has Been Fired From the Trump Campaign 

The New York Times reports that Donald Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, best known for having battery charges pressed against him by Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields (charges that were later dropped) and for having a history of misogynistic behavior, has finally—some might say belatedly—been punted from…

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Chris Christie Continues Humiliating Himself, Allegedly Picks Up Trump’s McDonald’s Orders

No one has played themselves in a more beautifully ironic fashion this election season than New Jersey governor and hopelessly devoted Bruce Springsteen fan Chris Christie, who has mostly abandoned his post as a vindictive, wildly unpopular political bully to serve as Donald Trump’s (and, by extension, the media’s)…