Elizabeth Warren Is Not Running for President, Says Elizabeth Warren

It's hard to read former FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair's highly engaging interview with Senator Elizabeth Warren about the United States' current (dire) financial situation and not wish for a Warren presidency. Unfortunately, later on in the very same interview, the senator dashes our hopes of that ever happening—at least… » 1/13/15 4:30pm 1/13/15 4:30pm

Tiger Cub Photo Op Is the Best Election Strategy Ever

Czech billionaire and leader of the ANO 2011 political movement Andrej Babis, center, is congratulated by circus owner Jaromir Joo, right, and his baby tiger named Fred, after most of the votes were counted in early general elections in Prague, Czech Republic, Saturday, Oct. 26, 2013. (AP Photo/Petr David Josek) » 10/26/13 3:30pm 10/26/13 3:30pm

Conservatives Silenced by Irony: Fox May Produce Hillary TV Movie

The GOP faithful, ever ready to storm the moral high ground and erect a glittering, priapistic citadel, jumped all over NBC’s yet-to-be-scripted Hillary Clinton teleplay like a gaggle of magpies who’ve caught a glimpse of a shiny Cracker Jack ring. “Aha, liberal scum!” cried RNC Reince Priebus, wearing his ceremonial… » 8/11/13 3:00pm 8/11/13 3:00pm

NBC Hopes That Hillary Clinton Will Save Network TV from Being Crappy

Broadcast network television has been hemorrhaging viewers over the last several years. The increasing popularity of complex, well-written cable dramas like Mad Men and Breaking Bad has raised the bar for TV. Networks like the perpetually-ailing NBC are slowly figuring out that they can no longer get by with a few… » 7/28/13 2:00pm 7/28/13 2:00pm

Elizabeth Colbert Busch Endorsed by S.C. Paper That Endorsed Mittens

A mere two days separate Elizabeth Colbert Busch, braintrust in the AmeriCone Dream, from her date with destiny in the special election for the House seat in South Carolina’s 1st congressional district. Will she triumph over the itinerant former Gov. Mark Sanford, or will she be forced back to the Colbert ice cream… » 5/05/13 11:20pm 5/05/13 11:20pm

Maybe It’s Time for Kirsten Gillibrand to Leapfrog Hillary Clinton

As we, the sycophantic public, dangle precariously between presidential election cycles, only one question keeps us attuned to the distant rumblings of potential candidates as they posture, pivot, and promenade their way to a spot in the presidential primary spotlight of 2016: could Kirsten Gillibrand leapfrog Hillary… » 4/29/13 1:05pm 4/29/13 1:05pm

Christine Quinn Might Soon Become New York’s First Openly Gay, Lady…

Christine Quinn, New York's recently married City Council Speaker, has announced this morning that she's running for mayor. If elected, Quinn would become the city's first female AND openly gay mayor, and would prove that Michael Bloomberg isn't the Augustan tyrant we've all secretly suspected him to be. » 3/10/13 3:00pm 3/10/13 3:00pm

Being a Myopic Dick About the Election Cost Sean Hannity Half His…

Oh, Sean "Don't Worry, Frightened Elderlies, We'd Never Reelect a Colored!" Hannity. It pleases me to laugh at you! All the bizarre, insulated right-wing media rhetoric—which straight-facedly predicted a landslide win for Romney—is coming back to bite them where it hurts a conservative the most. In the dick money. » 1/01/13 1:00pm 1/01/13 1:00pm

Anti-Choice Rep. Scott DesJarlais Says That God Has Totally Forgiven…

Having admitted that he "made a very poor decision" in his first marriage when he cheated on his wife and pressured his mistress into have an abortion, Uncle Fester stunt-double and anti-choice U.S. Rep. Scott DesJarlais (R., Tenn.) insisted on a conservative Nashville radio show that God has "forgiven" him for being… » 12/02/12 12:00pm 12/02/12 12:00pm

Bill O'Reilly Is Not Thrilled That Single Women Might Decide Election

Single women are the fastest-growing voting population in the country: 55 million unmarried women will be voting in the upcoming election, and it goes without saying that they're not being courted by Romney/Ryan. When Ann Romney went off-script at the RNC to yell "I love you, women!" she later clarified that she was… » 11/03/12 6:01pm 11/03/12 6:01pm

If Kids Could Vote, Barack Obama Would Be Double Mega-President

Well, the world might be in the shitter, but at least the future is bright! (Kind of. Except for all the parts that we're systematically covering in shit. But, you know.) In Nickelodeon's annual Kids Pick the President poll, our nation's wise young fake-voters fake-reelected Barack Obama by a landslide, and said… » 10/23/12 6:30pm 10/23/12 6:30pm

Ruh Roh, Romney: Salt Lake Tribune Endorses Obama

The Salt Lake Tribune, the paper of record in the eye of the Mormon storm, has endorsed President Barack Obama. They endorsed Obama in 2008, too, but many expected Romney's Mormon faith (and the fact that he pulled hard for the 2002 Olympics in SLC) to outshine common sense and the fact that he's a lying liar who… » 10/21/12 8:30pm 10/21/12 8:30pm