The New York Times has your weekend lullaby, reporting on the efforts of global health officials to determine “how often and how long” the Ebola virus lives in semen. “For now,” reports the Times, “they are warning Ebola survivors to practice protected sex indefinitely.”

Texas-based nurse, Nina Pham, was the first known person to contract Ebola in America. Pham was diagnosed with the often-deadly disease after treating Thomas Eric Duncan, a Liberian man who later died of the disease. The nurse told the Dallas Morning News that she will sue Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas and…

There's a lot that wedding dresses and Ebola have in common: They're expensive, take a long time to put on and both feature a facial shield to protect one's physical and emotional integrity. That's why it should surprise no one that a wedding designer will be debuting an Ebola suit during New York Fashion Week.

The devastating Ebola outbreak in West Africa has one slim silver lining: it's temporarily putting a stop to the female genital mutilation in Sierra Leone, where the procedure is traditionally performed on most pre-pubescent girls. Bloomberg reports that many FGM practitioners are refusing to do the procedure, because…

Yesterday, we reported that Akron Ohio's Coming Attractions bridal store — now known to many only as "the Ebola shop" — was closing due to the fact that no one wanted to buy dresses from a place where someone with Ebola (who has been cured) had been at one point in time. Now, the store might be saved!

Hey, remember Ebola? American media panic magically disappeared as soon as the midterm elections were over, but the aftermath of Ebola: America! continues in the case of Amber Vinson, the Dallas nurse who contracted and survived the virus.

The cast of Mockingjay would like to take this slow news week to clear up some misconceptions about Ebola and remind everyone that the fight continues in Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone.

While ebola hasn't been in the news as much in present weeks—prompting some to speculate that it's a government-created conspiracy meant to distract us from the real issues such as chemtrails—scientists have been busy at work behind the scenes figuring out exactly what caused the outbreak. Spoiler: It's probably bats.

Remember Ebola? Yes, it's still a thing and yes it is still wreaking havoc and killing thousands of people in West Africa.

The wedding planning of Amber Vinson, the Dallas nurse who survived Ebola, continues to garner attention, none of it good and now, perhaps, she's looking even worse.

Bono, One Direction, Bob Geldorf and other celebs have teamed up for a thirtieth anniversary remake of the Bandaid charity single, "Do They Know It's Christmas," on behalf of Ebola victims. Here is the video, which premiered last night on The X Factor.

Face it, you knew more weird and stupid Ebola-themed merchandise was coming our way. Because people just can't stop themselves from finding obscene ways to cash in on tragedy.

Nurse Amber Vinson, one of the Americans unfortunate enough to contract Ebola, is finally out of danger and healing fast. But now she has to restart her wedding planning. What more will the fates demand from this poor woman???

Kaci Hickox, the moxie-laden nurse who took the state of Maine to court over her mandatory (though unnecessary) quarantine—and won—has reached a settlement with the state. And honestly, it sounds a lot like what she's suggested all along.

Everyone loves nurses, right? WRONG. Everyone loves nurses until they're like, "Wait, actually, I think for no scientific reason that you definitely have Ebola, so please sit alone for like three weeks with only your probably-not-Ebola-infected pet, an endless supply of ChexMix and your dwindling Netflix queue for…