Here is My Easter Gift to You All
No words needed, really.
Mexico Be Like 'Happy Easter Trump! Fuck You and Your Border Wall!'
I may not celebrate Easter myself, but from what I can tell, marshmallow Peeps and multi-colored eggs have nothing on the mad Easter game Mexico is running right now.
These Pictures of Old White House Easter Egg Rolls Are Tripping Me the Fuck Out
Basically, there are two Easters: the very important day on the Christian religious calendar, and the commercialized candy orgy. This secular celebration of spring is all in good fun—only it gets a little weird when you stare into its sugary heart for too long.
White House Easter: Obama Tells Screaming Kids 'Bees Are Good'
On Monday, at the White House Easter Egg Roll, President Obama’s reading of Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are was interrupted by bees. The children in attendance screamed, because children and bees are natural enemies. The President urged them to stop screaming, because “bees are good,” and besides, wild…
Massive Easter Egg Hunt Descends Into Madness, Ends in All-Out Brawl
File Easter egg hunts under “things that parents ruin for everyone.” A massive egg search in Sacramento was supposed to break a world record for “the world’s largest Easter egg hunt” but the only award the event is winning is one in embarrassment and regret. And the record for crying toddlers whose fun was ruined by…
An Illustrated Bible + House of Cards = AD: The Bible Continues
Yesterday, on Easter Sunday, stuffed to the gills with ham and pastel candy, I sat down to watch the sequel to the hugely popular 2013 miniseries The Bible. No, not The Road to Salt Lake City. I'm talking, of course, about AD: The Bible Continues.
Kendall Jenner Forgot to Wear Clothes to Church on Easter
Here’s the Kardashian/Jenner/West clan, looking very Partridge Family and flowy and also like they don’t give a fuck that they’re totally underdressed for church.
Kim Kardashian Prepares Biggest Easter Basket Ever for North
That’s a lot of Easter candy for one baby. Hope she knows how to share!
'The Other Kids Had Taken All His Eggs': Grim Yelp Reviews of Easter
Welcome to Grim Yelp Reviews, a new regular feature where we share people’s worst experiences at the worst places. This week’s bonus round: Easter.
White Supremacists Crash Easter Egg Hunt, Leave Racist Easter Eggs
Yesterday, a Virginia neighborhood was very alarmed to discover that someone had littered residents' yards with Easter eggs stuffed with white supremacist literature. Shocking, but of course the Easter bunny always did get hateful after too many beers.
Watch Two Rabbits Celebrate Easter by Fornicating on a Local News Show
Like so many of us, this pair of cute lil' buns celebrated the Easter holidays by engaging in a televised orgy on top of a desk.
Weedster May Have Been Too Much For Us To Handle
Today is a very very special day. In a most spectacular convergence, everyone’s favorite candy-related New Testament holiday has fallen on April 20, which also happens to be everyone’s favorite weed-related holiday. The event has lovingly been dubbed ‘Weedster,’ and it’s basically Haley’s comet meets the Blood Moon.…
Celebrate Easter With These Creepy Photos Of Hot People in Bunny Heads
I don't know how you're celebrating Easter (I celebrate it the next day with bags of slightly crushed chocolate eggs that were 75% off) (and which I slightly crushed myself), but Nerve is doing it with an intricately-curated gallery of half-naked people in bunny heads.
Watch This Guy Eat 100 Peeps in Only Two Minutes
The best part about holidays (besides that some of them come with presents and some of them come with your parents going on a cruise and leaving you alone) is that there's often some kind of food challenge that goes along with the festivities. On Independence day people force hundreds of hot dogs down their throats…
Quit Trying to Make the 'War on Easter' Happen
Apparently unsatisfied with only Yuletide declarations of being warred upon, Fox News is now trying to convince its perpetually oppressed white, male, elderly, Christian audience that another Christian holiday is Under Attack: Easter. Hey guys, get down from that cross! There's already another guy up there!
Preschooler Finds a Xanax Inside One of Her Easter Eggs
A Michigan mother was very, very concerned to discover that there was a mysterious pill hidden inside a plastic egg from her preschooler's Easter egg hunt. It was later identified as not a weirdly misshapen jelly bean, but rather Alprazolam, a generic version of Xanax.
Selfies, Politics and Poop: It's the Annual Peeps Diorama Contest
Easter is just around the corner, so you know what that means: peeps! If there's anything that truly honors the Christian themes of resurrection and sacrifice, it's brightly colored sugar gobs molded into misshapen adorable little animals. Of course this season also marks the return of the annual Peeps Show, …
Poor Bo Obama, Humiliated on Easter
Bo Obama became the laughing stock of all dogs (and most cats) when this photo was sent into the nation via Twitter on Easter Sunday. Bo don't know about the idiots who put these ears on him.
The Easter Bunny’s Reign of Terror Continues Unabated
Madelyn Notaro, 2, is comforted during a photo shoot with the Easter Bunny in Buffalo, N.Y., Wednesday, March 27, 2013. The Broadway Market is a popular destination for Easter holiday shopping. (AP Photo/David Duprey)
Jesus Saves (on Easter Candy and Plastic Grass)
Jesus died for our sins — so we better make 'em worth it. There's no better way to honor the heavenly bodies rising (from the heavens?) than by binging on bulk bins filled with wax-chocolate bunnies the size of toddlers. GOD BLESS.
