If for some strange reason you absolutely needed to know Kate Middleton's due date ASAP: The palace has announced that Prince George's younger sibling is scheduled to arrive in April.

Someone bought a 33 year old piece of cake, but it’s OK because it was from Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s wedding. Does that information makes this purchase acceptable? Oh and that stale sweet cost $1,375.

Last week, Kate Middleton (or, if you must, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge) was inducted into Vanity Fair's Best-Dressed Hall of Fame. This surprised absolutely no one. But lo, there comes a brave voice from the furthest reaches of the Commonwealth, daring to question the princess's fashion bona fides.

Kate Middleton really has no privacy, and we’re not talking paparazzi cameras. A former royal editor at the now shuttered News of the World newspaper admitted to hacking the Duchess’ voicemail no less than 155 times. 1.5.5.

Mommy and daddy went to a party.

This is what one dons for a ship-naming ceremony.

Mellow yellow. Yellow belly?

Yesterday the Duchess of Cambridge hung out with Scouts at Windsor Castle, and the buzz is that the pregnant royal actually looked pregnant. But can we talk about that aborable Mulberry coat? Mint green with gold flower buttons? A fresh breath of spring air.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, went on a wintry jaunt to Windermere today, where she hung out a the Great Tower Scout camp. We assumed she was roasting the entrails of her enemies — quite good for nourishing the royal fetus — but apparently it's traditional unleavened camping bread. Yum?

Or a girl. Let's wait for everyone to speculate on Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, being helped by Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, as she gets her heel stuck in the grating while they take part in a St Patrick's Day parade in Aldershot, England.

Fantastic little blonde moppet of a boy just couldn't resist digging for gold as he meets the future Queen consort of the United Kingdom.

If you hadn't heard, there's a slightly enormous kerfuffle unfolding across the pond, after two-time Booker Prize winner Hilary Mantel called Duchess Kate Middleton a "shop-window mannequin" with a "perfect plastic smile" and no personality. That rumbling you hear is one million royal-obsessed biddies spit-taking…

Paul Emsley, the 75-year-old British artist who painted Kate Middleton to look like one of his contemporaries for her first official portrait, is super offended by the criticism he received after the painting was unveiled at the National Portrait Gallery earlier this month. He described the poor reviews of his work as…

Proceed accordingly. Official caption:

ALDERSHOT, ENGLAND - MARCH 17: Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge poses for an official photograph during her visit to Aldershot Barracks on St Patrick's Day on March 17, 2012 in Aldershot, England. The Duchess presented shamrocks to the Irish Guards at a St Patrick's Day parade. (Photo by Chris Jackson-WPA Pool/Getty…

Cheering crowds waving union jacks greeted Britain's Queen Elizabeth II on Thursday, March 8 2012 at Leicester Cathedral, where the Queen, clutching a nosegay, began her four-month Diamond Jubilee tour of the UK to celebrate 60 years on the throne, accompanied by Prince Philip and the Duchess of Cambridge.(AP…

Now that the Kate Middleton, the Princess — sorry, Duchess Of Cambridge — has moved into a royal residence in Kensington palace, she's begun to make some adjustments. The Brit papers do not take this lightly, claiming that she has "turned up her nose" at the mansion. They probably considered headlines like "Princess…

The Royal Wedding is over, but the weird commemorative crap keeps on coming! Since there's a chance you might forget the epic televised event so relentlessly covered by the media, you'd better get yourself a souvenir. Luckily, you have options.

We waited. And damn it, we're gonna ogle the shit outta this thing, created by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen.