Drake's Newest Cosign Dej Loaf Raps Sweetly About Destroying Dudes

"Kill 'em with kindness" and whatnot, but Detroit rapper/singer Dej Loaf's style is more "kindness with kill 'em." With "Try Me," the young upstart has acquired viral fortitude and a prominent roster of co-signers, including Drake (who quoted the track on his Instagram) and Wiz Khalifa (who remixed it earlier this… » 9/25/14 12:40pm Thursday 12:40pm

Drake and Rihanna Hung Out Twice, 'Proof' that They Are Humping Again

It is written: If two people who formerly humped hang out twice in one week, they are 100% definitely humping once again. (I mean, that actually usually is true, but also this is silly.) Such is the case with Rihanna and Drake, who sat near each other at a club the other night and then at Drake's concert the following… » 8/20/14 8:00pm 8/20/14 8:00pm

Drake Singing 'Let It Go' Is the Perfect Palate Cleanser

Drake, my pretend boo on the days I take a break from my Idris Elba fantasies, hosted the ESPY Awards last night with a flair that only a Canadian child star turned rapper can bring. While I find the show itself to be pretty ridiculous, (athletes don't need an awards show, their award was winning games) Drake did a… » 7/17/14 7:15pm 7/17/14 7:15pm

Drake's Penis Is 'Weird, Thin, and Pointy,' Says Future Shakespeare

Today is the day that I read several conflicting accounts about the shape of Drake's celebrity penis and what he likes people to do or not do with his butthole while he touches said controversially shaped penis. Today is also the day that I realized that every other non-today day of my life has been wasted. » 7/14/14 8:00pm 7/14/14 8:00pm

Kim Kardashian to Pregnant Women: "Never Leave the House"

There is something truly beautiful about the way that women can connect with and understand one another through the shared experience of pregnancy (I'm not in this kool klub). Somehow, magically, Kim Kardashian has found a way to poop on that concept, recommending that women just stay at home and hide when pregnant. » 7/12/14 11:21am 7/12/14 11:21am

Watch Vanessa Bayer Give Drake Misguided Career and Dating Advice

In the first episode of season two of Above Average's web series "Sound Advice," SNL's Vanessa Bayer plays Janessa Slater, a media coach who gives musical artist Drake some unwelcome advice. Drake doesn't take too kindly to the suggestion he go on JDate ("I don't really have any trouble") and explains how I you can… » 6/11/14 1:00pm 6/11/14 1:00pm

Rihanna and Drake Held Hands at 4:30 am, PROLLY TOUCHED BUTTS LATER

So, Drake and Rihanna were spotted holding hands in some sort of car or van and also Rihanna was wearing a jester's cap(?) and Drake was doing some sort of Columbo cosplay and according to the Encyclopedia Fucktannica that is IRON-CLAD EVIDENCE OF NONSTOP ROMANTIC HUMPAGE. They're, like, boyfriend-girlfriend now and… » 3/28/14 8:00pm 3/28/14 8:00pm

​Rihanna and Drake Are Back Together For Real This Time (Again)

Rihanna and the loneliest boy in Canada, Drake are officially a thing. The two mononyms have been "virtually inseparable" as Drake's been touring around in Europe. I am a fan of this news. Honestly, did anybody else get the feeling that Drake's latest album "Nothing was the Same" was basically one 15-track booty call… » 3/16/14 11:30am 3/16/14 11:30am

Hey, Where Did All the Women MCs Go?

It feels as if someone started a rumor that 2014 might present a female resurgence in hip-hop. As a person with a vagina, I’d be thrilled if that happened — but I doubt the “Ladies Night” reprise is going down anytime soon. There are many reasons why women — with the exception of Nicki Minaj — are notably absent from… » 3/05/14 5:10pm 3/05/14 5:10pm