Drake Singing 'Let It Go' Is the Perfect Palate Cleanser

Drake, my pretend boo on the days I take a break from my Idris Elba fantasies, hosted the ESPY Awards last night with a flair that only a Canadian child star turned rapper can bring. While I find the show itself to be pretty ridiculous, (athletes don't need an awards show, their award was winning games) Drake did a… » 7/17/14 7:15pm 7/17/14 7:15pm

Drake's Penis Is 'Weird, Thin, and Pointy,' Says Future Shakespeare

Today is the day that I read several conflicting accounts about the shape of Drake's celebrity penis and what he likes people to do or not do with his butthole while he touches said controversially shaped penis. Today is also the day that I realized that every other non-today day of my life has been wasted. » 7/14/14 8:00pm 7/14/14 8:00pm

Kim Kardashian to Pregnant Women: "Never Leave the House"

There is something truly beautiful about the way that women can connect with and understand one another through the shared experience of pregnancy (I'm not in this kool klub). Somehow, magically, Kim Kardashian has found a way to poop on that concept, recommending that women just stay at home and hide when pregnant. » 7/12/14 11:21am 7/12/14 11:21am

Watch Vanessa Bayer Give Drake Misguided Career and Dating Advice

In the first episode of season two of Above Average's web series "Sound Advice," SNL's Vanessa Bayer plays Janessa Slater, a media coach who gives musical artist Drake some unwelcome advice. Drake doesn't take too kindly to the suggestion he go on JDate ("I don't really have any trouble") and explains how I you can… » 6/11/14 1:00pm 6/11/14 1:00pm

Rihanna and Drake Held Hands at 4:30 am, PROLLY TOUCHED BUTTS LATER

So, Drake and Rihanna were spotted holding hands in some sort of car or van and also Rihanna was wearing a jester's cap(?) and Drake was doing some sort of Columbo cosplay and according to the Encyclopedia Fucktannica that is IRON-CLAD EVIDENCE OF NONSTOP ROMANTIC HUMPAGE. They're, like, boyfriend-girlfriend now and… » 3/28/14 8:00pm 3/28/14 8:00pm

​Rihanna and Drake Are Back Together For Real This Time (Again)

Rihanna and the loneliest boy in Canada, Drake are officially a thing. The two mononyms have been "virtually inseparable" as Drake's been touring around in Europe. I am a fan of this news. Honestly, did anybody else get the feeling that Drake's latest album "Nothing was the Same" was basically one 15-track booty… » 3/16/14 11:30am 3/16/14 11:30am

Hey, Where Did All the Women MCs Go?

It feels as if someone started a rumor that 2014 might present a female resurgence in hip-hop. As a person with a vagina, I’d be thrilled if that happened — but I doubt the “Ladies Night” reprise is going down anytime soon. There are many reasons why women — with the exception of Nicki Minaj — are notably absent from… » 3/05/14 5:10pm 3/05/14 5:10pm

Saturday Night Social: Jimmy's on SNL!

In just a few short hours, Drake will make his television debut on Saturday Night Live. Just kidding! Drake is no stranger to the small screen, having starred for several seasons as Jimmy on the very popular (and realistic) teen soap opera Degrassi: The Next Generation. I'm going to be DVRing this just so I can relive… » 1/18/14 7:00pm 1/18/14 7:00pm

Your Boyfriend Drake's SNL Promos Remind You That He Can Act, Too

Just the mere presence of the host and musical guest of this weekend's Saturday Night Live makes it difficult for Bobby Moynihan and Jay Pharoah to speak normally, so imagine what's going to happen on Saturday. MAGIC, that's what. I could listen to him say, "Those are literally some cool cats" until the end of time. » 1/15/14 12:50pm 1/15/14 12:50pm

Selfie Loathing: What Celebrities Did on Instagram This Week

Welcome back to Selfie Loathing, America's favorite celebration of famous folks turning the cameras on themselves. This week: Cameron Diaz has Hannigan hair, Nicole Richie bumps into someone she knows, Selena Gomez thinks you are awesome, Drake makes you breakfast and Katy Perry gets crafty. Celebrity Instagrams,… » 12/06/13 5:45pm 12/06/13 5:45pm

Kanye's Epic New Video: Horses, Eagles, Topless Kim Kardashian

Kanye West went on Ellen to premiere his new music video, and oh my god it's indescribably beautiful. It sort of looks like what would happen if you mixed the horse equivalent of that ironic howling wolf t-shirt with the Yosemite background on the MacBook PhotoBooth app, in a conceptual fashion manner. » 11/19/13 9:05am 11/19/13 9:05am