Dove's Latest Commercial Is Their Most Bullshit Yet

Dove has moved their marketing strategy away from merely using "Real Women" as models and towards manipulating "Real Women" as part of totally unscientific experiments that prove nothing. The latest iteration of this project is Dove Patches, a patch for your arm full of a magic substance that makes you feel more… » 4/09/14 11:20am 4/09/14 11:20am

How to Love Your Armpits and Other Unsung Parts of Your Gross Body

Confession: Don't be jealous, but I am totally fine with my armpits. Call me an arrogant rube, call me body-shame ignorant, but prior to the Dove campaign to beautify the pits, I didn't even know I was supposed to hate them. Now I refuse to hate them so that I might one day grow to love them — that's what passes for… » 3/05/14 2:40pm 3/05/14 2:40pm

Beauty Companies Love to 'Empower' Women, Over and Over and Over Again

This week, Soledad O'Brien announced that her O'Brien Raymond Starfish Foundation would be teaming up with CoverGirl cosmetics to produce a series of documentaries as part of their "Girls Can" movement. For O'Brien, Girls Can is an way to help empower young women. For CoverGirl, it's the perfect way to convince young… » 2/28/14 11:00am 2/28/14 11:00am

Using Products Made for the Opposite Sex Results in Shame and Cooties

Do you ever feel isolated, lonely or on the receiving end of a generalized cultural disapproval you can't quite pinpoint? Do you ever get the feeling the products you use and love are not really "meant" for "you"? Do you ever passively wait for the man or woman in your life to purchase a product that isn't actually… » 8/14/13 4:50pm 8/14/13 4:50pm

Forever Misguided, Dove Wants to Know Why You're So ‘Camera Shy’

"Why are women so camera shy?" I dunno, maybe because we don't want to look pleasingly pretty just because you want us to? Because we're constantly asked to smile on command, even at work and by complete strangers on the street, and called "bitch" if we're not in the mood? Because we don't feel like performing right… » 7/02/13 7:00pm 7/02/13 7:00pm

Here's Why 'Real Beauty' Advertising Campaigns Are Garbage

British tabloid The Sun wants women to realize how beautiful they truly are by posing for the paper in a thong so they can rate their own naked bodies — and be judged by a panel of men, natch — for a piece on how we ladies are "overly negative on ourselves" but "needn't be." Gee, wonder why that is! » 5/13/13 2:30pm 5/13/13 2:30pm

Men Discover They Really Don’t Look Like Movie Stars, Erupt in Tears

By now, most of us have seen Dove’s “Sketches” video wherein several unsuspecting women describe to a sketch artist how thoroughly hideous they believe their faces truly are (spoiler alert: it’s totally not true). “Sketches,” however, seems to come from as sincere a place as anything created on behalf of a giant… » 4/18/13 11:55pm 4/18/13 11:55pm

Dove Chocolate Wants to Know If This Voiceover Sounds Ridiculous When…

Dove Chocolate advertising masterminds Fred Armisen and Bill Hader want to know: are you more likely to tamp some Dove chocolates down your food pipe if a serene white lady is telling you to do it? Or would you rather have Kevin Hart shout chocolate endorsements at you while you watch molten chocolate being drizzled… » 3/03/13 12:00pm 3/03/13 12:00pm

Dove Lays Eggs On Guy's Car, He's Totally Sweet About It

When a guy named Trevor Maltby left his car at the Cairns International Airport in Australia to go on a six-day business trip, he returned to find a small bird perched on top of a tiny nest on the windshield wiper blade of his Audi hatchback. This is one of the few occurrences in life that is both A) a really good… » 2/23/13 4:00pm 2/23/13 4:00pm

Dove Uses Blind Woman to Sell Hair Dye

Dove had positioned itself as being morally superior to other health and beauty brands after launching its legendary Campaign for Real Beauty in 2004 and its non-profit efforts to promote self-esteem in young girls. As far as corporations go, Dove seemed like a good one—or at least better than others—with a positive… » 2/19/13 6:40pm 2/19/13 6:40pm