A drunk driver was busted on Sunday while wearing a T-shirt proudly proclaiming he was "DRUNK AS SHIT."
No, Rush Limbaugh hasn't been spotted visiting downtown New York: a literal old-timey douching device has been unearthed in the City That Never Sleeps (presumably because it's too busy hoarding centuries-old lady products to get any damn rest).
Oh good news, ladies. There's a man who thinks we don't belong in sports! And not just that! We should just shut the fuck up about it, period because we're just ruining it for all the men!