'Motorboating for Breast Cancer' Campaign Promotes Douchebag Awareness

Every year, millions of American men and boys are infected with douchebaggery — a soul-fatal condition in 90% of cases. While we know frustratingly little about the causes of douchebaggery, we see its devastating effects all around: public urination, the continuing popularity of Tosh.0, and, now, this latest Useless… » 10/16/13 11:20am 10/16/13 11:20am

Inevitably Disgusting Sexts From the Racist 'Sleepless in Austin' Dude

Hey, remember this guy? The one who posted a hilariously specific list of stringent requirements for his ideal (super hot and DEFINITELY NOT BLACK) girlfriend? Well, I'm sorry to inform you that he's back. And this time, we've got sexts. » 10/10/13 1:00pm 10/10/13 1:00pm

Delusional Man-Child Has Most Incredible List of Dating Requirements

Looking to make a quick $1,500? Well, all you have to do is help this 39-year-old Austinite find the — not fat, not black, long-haired, unselfish, non-tattooed (SOME exceptions), non-bespectacled, childless (and not ever wanting children) (which is a good thing, because boyfriend should NOT reproduce), positive, warm,… » 9/25/13 11:00am 9/25/13 11:00am

The rise of the evolutionary psychology douchebag

They believe that certain groups of people are inherently smarter than others. They write books about how rape is a natural part of human evolution. And now, with another scandal rocking the world of evolutionary psychology, we can officially welcome a new breed of mad scientist into the spotlight: evopsych douchebags. » 7/12/13 4:44pm 7/12/13 4:44pm

Meet the Men of Congress's Powerful Douchebag Caucus

This week, boringly wacky Congressperson Trent Franks' dumb, dumb, dumb 20 week abortion ban advanced one step closer to becoming a law at the federal level*. Helping his constitutionally flaccid bill along was an all-male chorus of YEA votes in the nincompoopery-intense House Judiciary Committee — or, as we're going… » 6/14/13 12:05pm 6/14/13 12:05pm

The Most Batshit Reactions to Women in Combat

The Pentagon officially lifted the ban on women in combat on Wednesday. And the entire world applauded this historic move towards equality. Wait, no. That's not what happened at all. Rather, wingnuts and supposedly "moderate" conservatives came out of the woodwork in droves to slam the decision, which was merely a » 1/25/13 2:40pm 1/25/13 2:40pm

Seven Reasons Why Rielle Hunter Is the Most Irritating Person on Earth

Hey, were you dying to hear not-at-all-notable blonde lady Rielle Hunter talk about herself a whole bunch? Me neither, but she's doing it anyway. For the children (srsly). In a new tell-all memoir, What Really Happened: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me, Hunter opens up about what really happened between John Edwards, … » 6/18/12 7:00pm 6/18/12 7:00pm

Noted Dicks at Tosh.0 Use Stolen Fat-Positive Photo to Make Fun of Fat …

Can you believe fat people? Just existing willy-nilly all over the place, sometimes without even the courtesy to cloak their terrible bodies in heavy smocks and caftans. Some of them even have the gall to ask to be treated with basic human decency and compassion! Good thing we have Daniel Tosh & Co. to regulate this… » 5/23/12 2:45pm 5/23/12 2:45pm

Oh Great, 'The Rules' Is Back With a Whole New Bunch of Sexist Garbage

Remember back in the '90s when everyone went all kookaburra for The Rules? You know, it's basically the girl-version of The Game—teaching women how to entrap idiot men into "loving" them by acting like aloof, vacant pieces of shit? Well, feminist brain trust Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are coming out with yet… » 5/23/12 1:30pm 5/23/12 1:30pm

Facebook: The Perfect Place to Disown Your Crappy Relatives

I'm not one of those naysayers who bemoans the age of social media. I don't think it cheapens communication or commodifies human connection or whatever the grumps say (grumping on this shit is pointless anyway). Social media lets you riff hilariously with people you truly love, pay lip service to people you medium-like … » 5/22/12 1:30pm 5/22/12 1:30pm

Donald Trump Hates Women as Much as He Loves Money

Donald Trump is in the news again for sparking yet another celebrity feud, this time with Cher. The singer made a comment last week on Twitter about his friend Mitt Romney, saying, "If ROMNEY gets elected I don't know if I can breathe same air as Him & his Right Wing Racist Homophobic Women Hating Tea Bagger Masters."… » 5/18/12 11:20am 5/18/12 11:20am

Morons Disappointed to Learn Most Babies Born in America Are Not White

When the US Census bureau announced this morning that for the first time in US history, the majority of babies born in 2011 were not white, naturally my first thought was to see what paranoids and dum dums on the internet were saying about it, because I'm nothing if not a chronic hater. After all, this sort of topic is … » 5/17/12 3:10pm 5/17/12 3:10pm

Horrible Pastor Advocates Beating the Gay Out of Young Kids [UPDATED]

There have been some very bizarre and unfortunate arguments made in service of fighting gay marriage, but one pastor in North Carolina has just taken discourse to a dreadful new low. Pastor Sean Harris of Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville thinks he's come up with a simple solution for preventing gay people from… » 5/02/12 11:20am 5/02/12 11:20am

Thomas Kinkade's Wife Files Restraining Order Against Thomas Kinkade's…

Yay! More tasty dark corners in the saga of mysteriously deceased fake-art huckster Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light (also Groper of Light, Public Urinator of Light, Drunk Driver of Light, and Siegfried & Roy Magic Tiger Show Disruptor of Light). At the time when he became suddenly and mysteriously dead (of Light),… » 4/23/12 2:40pm 4/23/12 2:40pm