Speculation about who Donald Trump will pick as his running mate abounds. The latest news has Chris Christie being vetted for the position, but they’re probably just messing with him. So far, the reality show candidate has given every indication he plans to run on a reality show platform. But what celebrity apprentice…
The FBI recommended against charging Hillary Clinton for mishandling classified information earlier today, and you had better believe Sarah Palin has posted a completely incomprehensible response on her Facebook page. In it, she lambasts “GOP #NEVERTRUMP TRAITORS” and insists that parents teach their kids to respect…
With the Republican National Convention looming, Donald Trump, our favorite fascist wad of upchucked puréed carrots, needs to corral supporters who will stimulate the crowd. Unfortunately for him, some of the party’s most popular members plan to steer clear of the event.
Over the weekend, gold-tipped mucus plug Donald Trump tweeted a meme of Hillary Clinton that originally appeared on a racist, anti-Semitic message board. This is, to our knowledge, the first offensive tweet Trump has deleted and that his campaign has semi-apologized for. It’s a bold new strategy, acknowledging a…
Just when you think the saga of Donald Trump’s not-so-subtle, likely accidental white supremacist dog whistle can’t get any more exciting, Trump’s Director of Social Media Dan Scavino proves us wrong. Dan—take it away.
Today, Ivanka Trump, daughter of GOP presumptive nominee and melted Claymation villain Donald Trump, made an interesting claim. “My father is a feminist,” she told London’s Sunday Times. Oh, cool.
Today, the Trump campaign announced the hire of Kellyanne Conway, a Republican pollster who touts herself as an expert on the “gender gap.” In a statement, the campaign said that Conway will serve as senior advisor to campaign chair, Paul Manafort. The campaign noted that Conway is “widely regarded as an expert on…
Back in December, Donald Trump’s personal doctor declared to the world that Trump would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” While that particular claim is unfalsifiable (although almost certainly incorrect), according to a source with knowledge of Trump’s current prescriptions, that letter…
Hello, friends, it looks like sources have confirmed exactly what we expected all along: that Chris Christie, history’s saddest gargoyle, is one of Donald Trump’s top picks to be his vice-presidential running mate. Unfortunately, we have still not confirmed whether Christie is in possession of his own brain, or…
One of Donald Trump’s primary campaign promises has been the construction of a big, free wall, but on Thursday, he revealed a grave new threat from across the border that even his enormous, possibly CGI barrier is incapable of stopping.
Kevin Sorbo, actor of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys fame, has told TMZ that Jesus—and by extension, he himself—would vote for Donald Trump, all but ensuring that the presumptive Republican nominee collects the middle-aged-white-man-who-goes-to-the-gym-three-times-a-day-and-has-a-copy-of-The Passion of the Christ…
“It’s lonely over here in the pro-life camp,” Kristan Hawkins, president of Students for Life of America, writes in an op-ed in today’s Washington Post. Indeed, Hawkins is very, very lonely, just hoping and waiting by her phone for Donald Trump to just give her a call and maybe ask her to dinner, she writes.
A new national poll of 1,610 registered voters released by Quinnipiac University found that 40 percent supported Donald Trump while 42 percent supported Hillary Clinton, with a margin of error of 2 percentage points. But listen guys! Hey! Don’t panic! It’s just a poll! Wait, where are you going? To Vancouver? Fair…
During a Tuesday evening speech in St. Clairsville, Ohio, unwashed fumigation tent Donald Trump used evocative language to describe what the Trans-Pacific Partnership was literally doing to America.
After Donald Trump, the person that happens when a GOP-leaning member of mutant gang in The Hills Have Eyes has a wet dream, told members of the press that he thought the UK’s recent break from the European Union was a “fantastic thing,” Full Frontal’s Samantha Bee decided to take matters into her own hands—with…
On Tuesday, the Trump campaign fired off an email with the provocative subject line “Have you heard about the Hillary indictment?” asking potential donors to help (figuratively) “indict Clinton” and “find her guilty of all charges” (i.e. not elect her president).
Donald Trump, an eggroll to which someone has wastefully glued a hairpiece, gave a speech on trade and economic policy today in front of trash. Just a backdrop of a big mountain of trash. What metaphor?
Over the past 30-ish hours, the Supreme Court struck down a Texas anti-abortion law, Liz Warren spent a solid 15 minutes burning Trump, and the GOP let Crooked Hillary get away with Benghazi once and for all. And throughout all of it, red-faced Twitter egg king Donald Trump hasn’t made a peep. Something’s not right.
Donald Trump, one of those piles of sand by a highway, has promised us so much and has delivered so little. He’s promised us that the Trump name is synonymous with success; that’s a hard no. He’s promised us he cherishes women, perhaps only as collectibles. He’s promised us his fingers are long, but we’ve seen them.
Earlier this morning, Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren came together for their very first joint campaign appearance ever. But it wasn’t just the progressives in the audience that were losing their shit. As Warren embarked on her Trump-bashing stand-up bit, Hillary Clinton herself could barely conceal her glee.
