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Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump Projected To Win New Hampshire Primary 

As expected, Bernie Sanders won New Hampshire’s Democratic primary. Sanders, who went into the primary well ahead of Hillary Clinton, is now turning his attention to future primaries. A Sanders’ aide told CNN that the New Hampshire win has national implications for the candidate who plans to begin targeting more…

Donald Trump Would Never Call Someone a Pussy, He Says, Just After Calling Ted Cruz a Pussy

Donald Trump, a cartoon representation of Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a pharmaceutical ad, finally went ahead and called Ted Cruz a pussy from the stage last night, after a supporter in the crowd did it first. “It’s like a retweet,” he explained to the celebratory helium balloon hosts of “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday…

Every Candidate’s Impossible First-Day Agendas, Ranked

With the Iowa caucuses officially kicking off primary voting season, it won’t be long before a brand new butt is working a fresh groove into Obama’s old chair. In preparation, our various candidates are already hard at work making wild schedules for their first day on the job. And each one is more impossible than the…

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Still Upset About Megyn Kelly, Donald Trump Will Not Participate in Thursday's Debate 

Anger toddler and Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, will not participate in Fox News’s Thursday primary debate. During an Iowa press conference/tantrum earlier today, Trump stomped his feet repeatedly and yelled “Noooooo,” before throwing his food to the floor. “Let’s see how much money Fox is going to…

Donald Trump Wants 'Biased' Megyn Kelly To Skip the Next Debate

Ever since Megyn Kelly questioned Donald Trump’s treatment of women in the first Republican debate, he’s been on a mission to discredit the Fox News host. Trump remains upset over a series of relatively tame questions from the August primary debate. “You’ve called women you don’t like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and…