Donald Trump Upset And Confused By Lady Ghostbusters Movie

Something I've always admired about Donald Trump is that he's a really relaxed guy. Sometimes when I'm in yoga and the instructor tells me to channel someone zen, I choose Donald Trump. Because Donald Trump is a very reasonable, calming force in my life, in all our lives really. Like remember all those times he… » 1/31/15 5:45pm 1/31/15 5:45pm

Celebrity Apprentice Kicks Off Ex-Cosby Star For Refusing to Call Bill

Former Cosby Show star Keshia Knight Pulliam was the first celebrity dismissed from Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice last night, during an episode that was absolutely cringe-inducing for anyone even remotely familiar with the Bill Cosby scandal. » 1/05/15 9:30am 1/05/15 9:30am

Britney Spears Celebrates 33 Years of Life

In today's Tweet Beat, Britney Spears is 33 years-old, Donald Trump continues to offer advice that nobody asked for and Lady Gaga reassures her monsters. » 12/02/14 7:30pm 12/02/14 7:30pm

New Celebrity Apprentice Features Brandi Glanville, a Jonas Brother

Donald Trump announced the new Celebrity Apprentice cast on the Today show Tuesday morning, and as usual, it features an odd group of contestants. » 11/04/14 1:10pm 11/04/14 1:10pm

Donald Trump Has Finally Weighed In on the Oscar Pistorius Verdict

Do you know what's been missing from the eight month trial in which Olympic athlete Oscar Pistorius was accused of murdering his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp? No, not justice, silly! It's the opinion of Donald Trump! » 10/23/14 5:15pm 10/23/14 5:15pm

Donald Trump Basically Invented the iPhone 6

In today's Tweet Beat, Donald Trump is a dumb dumb, Hilary Duff practices some good looking out on behalf of her Jewish friends and I would like to eat copious burgers and fries with Usher ifyouknowwhatI'msayin. » 9/25/14 7:30pm 9/25/14 7:30pm

​Rihanna and Drake Are Back Together For Real This Time (Again)

Rihanna and the loneliest boy in Canada, Drake are officially a thing. The two mononyms have been "virtually inseparable" as Drake's been touring around in Europe. I am a fan of this news. Honestly, did anybody else get the feeling that Drake's latest album "Nothing was the Same" was basically one 15-track booty… » 3/16/14 11:30am 3/16/14 11:30am

Miss USA Hopeful Sues After Pageant Recruiter Requests Blow Jobs

In March, Jezebel exclusively reported on the dirty dealings behind the scenes of Donald Trump's Miss USA pageant — specifically the organization's involvement with one recruiter who is, by all accounts and allegations, a sexual predator and scam artist. Eight months later, one of the victims we spoke with, Ashleigh… » 12/02/13 4:30pm 12/02/13 4:30pm

Matt Lauer's Wedding to Justin Timberlake Was a Stunning Affair

In today's Tweet Beat, Stoya's bringing back an old trend, Donald Trump continues to dole out his sage, unasked-for advice and Matt Lauer is in love. » 9/19/13 7:30pm 9/19/13 7:30pm

DIY Casting of the Next Celebrity Apprentice: 10 Nutty Dream Teams

NBC has not listed Celebrity Apprentice on its 2013 - 2014 schedule because the show has not officially been picked up for another season. According to network executives at the TCA press tour last month, it's because they are having difficulty with casting. But seriously, how hard can it be? We came up with 10… » 8/26/13 3:50pm 8/26/13 3:50pm

Donald Trump Demands Bigger iPhone Screen, a Steve Jobs Zombie

In today's Tweet Beat, Donald Trump must've had a hard time reading Fox News on his tiny little iPhone screen, Nick Cannon likes to be corny (he's married to Mariah for a reason), and RuPaul is on point, as per usual. » 7/24/13 7:30pm 7/24/13 7:30pm

Ke$ha Knows a Pube When She Sees a Pube

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, Ke$ha gets livid about a lil pube, Amanda Bynes maybe doesn't want Drake to murder her vagina anymore, and Donald Trump tells us his dad's sex advice » 7/02/13 7:30pm 7/02/13 7:30pm

Courtney Love to Pickle: 'Fuck Em All'

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, Courtney Love tells pickle (?) to live by punk rock's mantra, Harry Styles is old enough to drive, apparently, and the tweet battle between Donald Trump and Danny Zuker continues. » 6/20/13 7:30pm 6/20/13 7:30pm

Miley Cyrus Is 'Fine' with Parents' Split but Worried About Her Sister

There's something so uniquely sad about the parents of adult children getting divorced. I know it's not more sad or less sad than parents of little kids splitting up—life isn't a sad contest—but transitioning into independence is hard enough without having the foundation you're leaving behind fall apart too. Miley… » 6/14/13 8:30pm 6/14/13 8:30pm

Donald Trump Tries to Understand Youths, Lil Jon

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, tries to wrap his toupée-topped head around the enigma of Lil Jon (probably for money), Anthony Bourdain reflects on his Boy Scouts experience, and Flea may or may not have cried into his cereal this morning. » 5/17/13 7:30pm 5/17/13 7:30pm

Lindsay Lohan is 'Happy' in Rehab, Says Totally Credible Source Dina… Lohan is definitely officially in rehab now, right? Inside of the rehab building, doing the rehabbing as we speak? Has our long national daymare finally come to an end? (Spoiler: lol, no.) Based on a quick glance at my What Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Right Now Reliability Matrix, there is a 67% chance… » 5/03/13 8:00pm 5/03/13 8:00pm

Donald Trump Is a Garbage Monster Who Needs to Shut the Fuck Up Forever

Once upon a time, some idiot dog ate a whole tub of orange frosting and shat out the oiliest, hottest, most vile and rank semi-firm orange turd the world had ever seen. The turd fell into a pile of pubes recently shaved off the ballsack of a racist necromancer, and their lingering scrotal enchantments brought the turd… » 4/24/13 8:20pm 4/24/13 8:20pm

Here's Conan O'Brien's Awesome Parody of 'Reasons My Son Is Crying.'…

When I clicked on this link, I didn't expect to fall in love. Oh, okay, another disposable Tumblr parody—this one is Conan O'Brien's "Reasons My Talk Show Host Is Crying," a riff on America's current sweetheart "Reasons My Son Is Crying"—do I really need that? I will not be manipulated by your cynical corporate… » 4/12/13 8:00pm 4/12/13 8:00pm

Topless Photos and Assless Chaps: The Hypocrisy of Miss USA's Code of…

Donald Trump's Miss Universe Organization, which operates the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants, draws viewers with sexy beauty queens in teeny bikinis. But titleholders are publicly chastised by Trump himself and sometimes lose their crowns altogether if they fail to reach "the highest ethical and moral standards"… » 4/01/13 4:30pm 4/01/13 4:30pm

Kate Middleton Having a Girl, Everyone Screams!

Although Kate Middleton and Prince William have only told their parents the sex of their baby, a slip of the tongue made it clear that Kate might be playing uteran hostess—I picture it as an upscale B&B, complete with L'Occitane bath products and tiny decorative soaps and a Jonathan Adler guestbook—to a tiny future… » 3/06/13 9:00am 3/06/13 9:00am