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Sarah Palin Pretends to Consider Being Donald Trump's Vice President 

Take shelter: Sarah Palin, former governor and current professional bloviator, is “leaving the door open” to becoming Donald Trump’s running mate. Donald Trump has not, that we know of, asked her to be his running mate, but has said in the past that he’d tap her to be part of his blessedly imaginary—for… » 8/28/15 12:49pm Friday 12:49pm

Missouri Woman Finds Donald Trump's Face in Her Butter 

Like a miracle, except, you know, more of a dark omen of our certain and inexorable doom: a Missouri woman told a local news station that she awoke one morning and popped the lid off a tub of butter, only to find that it contained the face of Donald Trump. Evidently Jesus has fled and will not be appearing in… » 8/24/15 10:30am Monday 10:30am

This Baby Was the Only Reasonable Person at Donald Trump's Rally

Yesterday Donald Trump and his 20,000 most fervent supporters gathered for a “pep rally” at Ladd-Peebles stadium in Alabama. “You know, now I know how the great Billy Graham felt,” Trump said to crowd. And just like a Graham-style revival, Trump sang to the souls of pilgrims. According to The Guardian, Trump read from… » 8/23/15 11:45am 8/23/15 11:45am

Donald Trump's Stalkery Attempts to Date Princess Diana Gave Her the Creeps

Donald Trump has many regrets, but among them is the fact that he never dated Princess Diana, whom he tried to unsuccessfully woo by wearing her down with flowers. Trump says that he and Diana “liked each other a lot,” but according to BBC presenter Selina Scott, he really just gave the princess “the creeps.” » 8/17/15 10:56am 8/17/15 10:56am

Fox News: Conspiracy Theories on Megyn Kelly's Vacation 'Rank...With Elvis Being Alive'

Megyn Kelly—host of Fox News’ The Kelly File and recently appointed nemesis of Donald Trumpannounced last week that she was taking a much-needed vacation. “Well, it’s been an interesting week—and a long six months without a vacation for yours truly,” Kelly told viewers on Wednesday. “So I’ll be taking the next week… » 8/15/15 12:45pm 8/15/15 12:45pm

Do You Think Donald Trump's Jerking It to This XXX Parody About His Campaign?

It’s finally here! The Donald Trump porno of your wild and windswept imagination has arrived on the internet and it’s full of everything you could have ever asked for: racist comments? Check! Gag-inducing wig that very closely resembles Trump’s hair system? Check! An angry pink dick that spews white-hot liquid death… » 8/14/15 2:30pm 8/14/15 2:30pm

Megyn Kelly Is Taking a Sudden Vacation and Everyone Wants to Know Why

Megyn Kelly—host of Fox News’ The Kelly File and Black Santa truther—has announced that she’s taking an abrupt two week vacation after sparring with Cheeto-dusted bloviator Donald Trump during (and in the aftermath of) the Republican presidential debate. Is Kelly just taking a much needed break (probably to deal—as we… » 8/14/15 12:55pm 8/14/15 12:55pm