It Happened to Her: xoJane Screwed Up Her Disney World Rape Story

I've long hesitated to write much criticism about fellow ladyblogs. It's not a matter of camaraderie or believing that our peers are immune to criticism. It's more like: We're all trying to do our own thing and do it in our own ways, as best we can and, yes, I am aware, it's not like Jezebel is perfect. What's the… » 6/18/13 6:35pm 6/18/13 6:35pm

Disney World and Toontown Are Not Immune to Perils of the Real World

Disney may seem like an idyllic place where cartoons aren't imaginary and dreams do come true, but behind the brightly colored buildings lies a dark underworld. On Tuesday, Toontown was rocked by a trashcan explosion, later found to be caused by a dry-ice "bomb," aka bottle of soda with dry ice in it. Visitors of… » 5/31/13 11:15am 5/31/13 11:15am

Rich People Hire Disabled Tour Guides So They Can Cut Lines at Disney

Ah, Disney World — a collection of whimsically themed structures built on top of a swamp, in which fully-grown adults gambol about in rodent costumes cooing at the assembled youth of America. While this magical bog may seem to be a factory of simple, innocent fun, it hides a darker underbelly: Disney World is a… » 5/14/13 12:20pm 5/14/13 12:20pm

Disney World Has Just Built Some Fancy New Castles for Its Favorite…

Disney World may be great and all, but if there's one complaint the rodent-infested toon autocracy fields too often, it's that there just aren't enough castles. I mean, there's that one at the center of the Magic Kingdom, but that's really more of a chateau, and one could hardly expect to fortify such a gaudy manse… » 12/24/12 1:20pm 12/24/12 1:20pm

The 10 Best Things to Do Drunk at Disney World

For the spring break of my sophomore year of high school, my father, in an attempt at parent-child bonding, offered to take me on a trip. "Madeleine," he said. "You are young and bright. The world is yours to discover. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go in the continental U.S. and we will go there. Want to go to Oxford and … » 9/19/12 6:20pm 9/19/12 6:20pm

Disney to Finally Serve Booze at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando

One of the last booze-peddling holdouts in the theme park racket, Disney World's Magic Kingdom in Orlando, will now start offering beer and wine for the first time in its 41-year history, but only at the Beauty and the Beast-themed Be Our Guest restaurant set to open this November as part of the much-anticipated… » 9/19/12 10:30am 9/19/12 10:30am

Florida Conservatives Are Trying to Suck All the Gay Fun Out of Disney …

The Florida Family Association has renewed its quixotic holy war against Disney World's unofficial "Gay Day," which takes place on June 2 at the Orlando resort, hopefully at the Polynesian Resort because that place always seemed like the ideal location for an awesome gay luau. The FFA has said that it's so far raised » 4/18/12 2:00pm 4/18/12 2:00pm

Inventor of Spanx is World's Youngest Female Self-Made Billionaire

A product promising to help people look thin has given its inventor a big fat wallet. Thanks to her ingenious idea to combine insecurity, enormous underpants, and elastic sausage casings, Sara Blakely, the forty-one-year-old inventor of Spanx, is now the world's youngest female self-made billionaire. » 3/08/12 11:40am 3/08/12 11:40am

Company Rips Off Parents Who Aspire to Manage their Kids’ Showbiz…

Everyone grudgingly admits that raising children can be an emotionally rewarding experience, but the best reason to have kids has nothing to do with the joy of one day creating a good conversationalist and competent personal chauffeur — the best reason to have kids is that they can make you buckets of money, especially … » 2/19/12 12:30pm 2/19/12 12:30pm

Disneyland to Be Overrun by Terrifying Goatees, Mustaches, Beards

Who says Disney isn't a hip company? Yesterday they announced that they are totally going to chill out and let employees of their amusement parks have beards and goatees. This loosening of their notoriously strict grooming regulations comes as welcome news to Disney's cast members, as they call their employees. As one… » 1/24/12 9:30am 1/24/12 9:30am

Soft-Hearted Dum-Dum Tim Tebow Acts Like a Super Decent Guy Sometimes

Steinbeckian simpleton Tim Tebow is a divisive figure. On one hand, he was in that obnoxious Super Bowl commercial where his mom implied that women who die in chldbirth aren't tough enough, he's really seems to think that God cares about football and he's been known to spend free time "converting" Catholic Filipinos into … » 1/17/12 6:30pm 1/17/12 6:30pm

This Child Truly Does Not Give A Shit About Disney World

Two parents decided it would be funny to tell their children that they'd be spending their fall break in Chattanooga, Tennessee and, at the last minute, reveal the totally-awesome-and-amazing trip they had planned at Disney World instead. Maybe the kids really wanted to see the Scenic City's Riverbend festival. Maybe… » 10/21/11 5:45pm 10/21/11 5:45pm

Mother Tries To Sell Baby So She Can Go To Disney World

A Newark mother has been arrested and ordered to never contact her infant son after several bad decisions culminating in a Facebook announcement that she was planning on selling him. Her reason? She didn't want to have another kid, because she wanted to go to Disney World. Most fucked up Disney-related maternal absence » 10/07/11 5:30pm 10/07/11 5:30pm