Christ, Not Even Jurassic World's Dinosaur Toys Are Allowed to Be Female

The omnipresent practice of denying girls action figures has somehow hit a new low. Remember how in the Jurassic World movie, most of the dinosaurs—especially Chris Pratt’s Raptor squad—were constantly referred to as girls? Well, as Jurassic World action figures, they’ve all been genderswapped into boys. »6/25/15 11:45am6/25/15 11:45am

These Are the 10 Best Female Characters From Jurassic Park

With the release of Jurassic World just around the corner, we wanted to revisit the Steven Spielberg classic that started it all. 1993’s Jurassic Park has its share of great male characters (hello, Dr. Ian Malcolm!), but is most notable for its abundance of female roles. Below is our list of the 10 best female… »6/09/15 5:50pm6/09/15 5:50pm

Baseball Star's Holiday Safety Tip: 'Ladies, Let Ur Man Drive'

Today, I took a break from gestating male heirs/ slaving over a hot stove/ piping down and letting the men talk to check this website called "Twitter," where a famous base-ball player named David Price had some great Thanksgiving travel tips for ladies: let your man drive! Especially in dangerous weather! Men, you… »11/26/13 3:40pm11/26/13 3:40pm

Giant Newly-Discovered Dinosaur Is Good News for Dinosaur Erotica Fans

Scientists today were pleased to announce that they've discovered a new species of dinosaur and named it Siats meekerorum. The most pleasing part of this pleasing discovery is that the Siats is both bigger and cooler (according to scientific projections they have built-in leopard spotted jackets!) than the T. Rex. … »11/22/13 3:40pm11/22/13 3:40pm

Bryce Dallas Howard Will Be Lead Dino Wrangler in Jurassic Park Sequel

The thing I love most about the long-rumored Jurassic Park sequel/reboot/remake/relaunch/question-mark?!?!?!!?—which has now apparently been dubbed Jurassic World—is that I KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE. And then it's like dinosaur Christmas over and over again every time a new piece of info hatches under the… »11/07/13 6:15pm11/07/13 6:15pm

I Re-Watched Jurassic Park for You Because, Really, Who Has the Time?

When I was 12, in 1994, I basically did three things: watch The Fugitive, watch A League of Their Own, and watch Jurassic Park. Oh, and listen to Weird Al's "Off the Deep End." Four things. Over and over and over. (Oh!!! And play that Yo! Noid Nintendo game! Five things! But this is not relevant.) In that… »4/05/13 1:35pm4/05/13 1:35pm

5-Year-Old Girl Discovers New Species Of Dinosaur; Scientists Name It After Her

In perhaps the most heartwarming story to ever involve a tiny fossilized pelvis, paleontologists have named a new species of flying dinosaur after the five-year-old cherub of a girl who discovered it. Daisy Morris, now nine, unearthed the fossil in 2008 while walking with her family on the Isle of Wight. She took the… »3/25/13 6:45pm3/25/13 6:45pm

Dinosaurs Probably Shook Their Tail Feathers Like Peacocks When They Were Feeling Sexy

Unfortunately for your wild childhood imagination, paleontologists recently decided that all dinosaurs probably had feathers to help insulate them during the holidays much the same way we hairless mammals use hideous sweaters to keep our nipsies from falling off like scabs in cold weather. A new chain of fossil… »1/04/13 2:00pm1/04/13 2:00pm