Milk drinking isn't a hobby for everyone — only those of us with enough enzymes can indulge in the sweet, delicious mammary juice that spurts from the machine-manipulated udders of a stressed cow that wonders everyday why the small, hairless apes who've imprisoned her in a barn factory insist on treating her like a…
The latest arbitrary excuse for for unhealthy food restriction totally effective and science-based weight loss system is the Werewolf Diet, supposedly practiced by Madonna and Demi Moore, which helps people (lol @ "people"—shit like this is always for women) lose weight by tailoring their eating habits to the phases of…
BUMMER ALERT, HAIRLESS PRIMATES! New research suggests that keeping yourself warm might be making you fat. You see, when the external temperature drops, your body burns more calories in order to warm itself—6% more calories, to be exact, according to Dutch researchers—but when you crank up the central heating to 72,…
Ever spent time looking for the calories listed on your food at the grocery store? I have and it's not fun, but someone told the Food and Drug Administration about my struggle and they're considering some "revisions." Yay.
Women go on twice as many diets in their lifetime than they have sexual partners. Probably because we hate ourselves and think we don't deserve to be happy—which we don't if we're so lame that we choose dieting over fucking.
And you thought shitting your pants on Alli was bad: A 26-year-old Army Reservist and sociology student is suing an East New York health food store, alleging that "Natural Lipo X," the not-at-all-fake-sounding fat-burning pills they sold her, were so messed up that she was briefly committed:
Tuesday was a terrible day for shady diets in America.
U.S. News and World Report, known mostly for its essentially meaningless rankings of institutes of higher learning, is getting into the diet game. Just what you'd always hoped would happen! So, with so many fun diet trends out there, which will be No. 1? A diet that mandates you eat one lump of oats every nine and a…
Good news everybody (who has decided to take up the "lose weight" hobby for the early stages of the New Year)! SCIENCE, that monolith of snazzy ideas that has helped us, as a species, do everything from land on the Moon to create indestructible breakfast cereals, may have devised an excellent way to fight obesity — a…
By this point in your life of mining the internet for weird shit, you've no doubt heard of the HAPIfork, that utensil that aims to keep you from eating your marshmallow gummy bear casserole too quickly by vibrating if you start behaving like a ravenous jackal and take bites any faster than at a stately 10-second…
In news that you will make you think Willy Wonka is behind all those vast global media conspiracies we keep telling you are just 'silly,' Gossip Girl thespian and perfect dress wearer Blake Lively says NOPE, when it comes to her famous figure, she doesn't exercise or train or diet or count calories or get illegal…
William Howard Taft was, notoriously, our fattest president, weighing in somewhere between 314 and 340 pounds during his term. One time he got stuck in a bathtub or something (maybe). This is literally the only thing anyone remembers about President Taft, even though—little known factoid—he was actually doing all kinds …
Okay, so, it's sort of a no-brainer that super-severe calorie restriction (i.e. being really, really hungry all the time) can do a number on your ability to focus on everyday tasks—because, you know, your brain needs calories to function just like the rest of your body. But one new study suggests that even…
In an effort to suit "contemporary tastes," McDonald's has announced that it's adding fruits and vegetables to its menu, which customers can choose in lieu of fries when ordering a value meal.
It's only natural that, being a nation of fatties, our lifestyle is directly reflected on our pets. More than half of American dogs are overweight, according to the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention, and while it might be kind of cute, it's definitely not healthy.
Burger King has added a new lower fat, lower calorie french fry to its menu. Hopefully they aren't as gross as their trademarked name: Satisfries.
It turns out that breakfast isn't the most important meal of the day. Most weight-loss programs and diets insist that eating breakfast is the key to setting a good pace for the day and helps people avoid snacking in the afternoon. But new research suggests that's not the case.
As previously mentioned, back issues of Photoplay have been archived online. A quick flip through of the January 1929 issue revealed a piece that feels chillingly current: It warns that women are putting their lives at risk when they try to be as skinny as Hollywood stars. We've been talking about this shit for 84…
Second only to maybe Diet Coke, yogurt is the edible material most stereotypically associated with women. Why has it become so gendered? The answer is simple: bitches love yogurt.
"A clean plate is a happy plate" is a common refrain for new parents — but sometimes it's not so happy for the kid. More like "miserable" or "potentially pukey" or "burgeoning weird relationship with food." As if you moms didn't have enough to worry about. I have a fucking CAT, and every time I go out of the house I am…
