Diets Are Basically Religions, So Toxins Are Basically the Devil

Has anyone recently told you how well the Paleo diet is working for them and tried to convince you to join them in living that nut-eating, meat-avoiding cavewoman lifestyle? One commonality across all trendy diets is how much their followers love to preach their gospels of eating. “The enthusiasm some people have for… »5/07/15 10:45pm5/07/15 10:45pm


Ugh to This LOFT Ad About Frantically Binge-Exercising in Saran Wrap 

Yeah, yeah, we all had a lot of cookies this past month and now maybe your clothes don't fit right. Or maybe they do. Or maybe you don't give a fuck? Whatever the case, January is always a big month for "Feel bad about yourself you ugly cow"-style advertising. Clothing retailer LOFT just added another one on the pile,… »1/09/15 4:50pm1/09/15 4:50pm

This Week in Tabloids: Angelina and Brad's 'Bizarre' Parenting Methods

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday, Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand to purchase the new issues of In Touch, Life & Style, Ok!, Us and Star, so that together we may dig into moist, rich celebrity tabloid dirt. This week: Tom Cruise is wearing his midlife crisis on his face; Kim Kardashian spent $23K… »4/09/14 3:20pm4/09/14 3:20pm

Blake Lively Says She Has A Great Body Because Of Chocolate

In news that you will make you think Willy Wonka is behind all those vast global media conspiracies we keep telling you are just 'silly,' Gossip Girl thespian and perfect dress wearer Blake Lively says NOPE, when it comes to her famous figure, she doesn't exercise or train or diet or count calories or get illegal… »11/03/13 3:23pm11/03/13 3:23pm

Lose Weight with Beef Tea and Stewed Fruit on the President Taft Diet

William Howard Taft was, notoriously, our fattest president, weighing in somewhere between 314 and 340 pounds during his term. One time he got stuck in a bathtub or something (maybe). This is literally the only thing anyone remembers about President Taft, even though—little known factoid—he was actually doing all… »10/15/13 3:20pm10/15/13 3:20pm

We're Already Talking About Hillary Clinton's 'Presidential Diet'

If Hillary Clinton were to run for President in 2016, she'd have a lot of ducks to get in a row — fundraising, amassing an army of volunteers, getting key endorsements, building a killer staff to fuel her unstoppably Hillary Machine. Dozens of extra-shiny flag lapel pins, I'd imagine. Here's something that would… »8/08/13 10:50am8/08/13 10:50am

CVS Punishes Fat Employees, As If That Will Magically Make Them Skinny

Why can nothing be easy in this country? First you have to submit to ten personality tests to get a job folding jeans at Old Navy, then your vacation days are whittled down to six per millennium, and now you have to relinquish full blood work, a pint of urine, and your soul to get reasonably priced healthcare (lest… »3/21/13 11:40am3/21/13 11:40am

You Are When You Eat: The 8-Hour Diet Insanely Encourages Eating Only Between 9-5pm

David Zinczenko the chief yahoo Editor in Chief at Men's Health has written new weight loss manifesto The 8-Hour Diet: Watch the Pounds Disappear Without Watching What You Eat!, argue that eating around the clock is responsible for the country's high rates of diabetes and obesity. Their solution? Eat between 9am-5pm.… »1/02/13 11:00pm1/02/13 11:00pm

Looking at a Picture of a Skinny Model While Dieting Might Actually Make You Gain Weight, But That’s OK Because a Little Extra Weight Is Just Fine

If you think about it, things are pretty terrific, but they are also pretty fucking terrible, too. Your life is going perfectly well, but looked at from another angle, you are a complete and utter disappointment to everyone. You're really pretty, except when you are not. And the world is a welcoming, open place, when… »1/02/13 3:10pm1/02/13 3:10pm

UK Government Minister Tells Magazines to Drop the Post-Christmas 'Miracle Diet' Bullshit

Equalities minister Jo Swinson is sick and tired of magazine features on how to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours by only eating cayenne pepper while turning counter-clockwise three times under a full moon — the sort of stories that appear without fail after the holiday stress-eating trend pieces have run their course. »12/27/12 12:15pm12/27/12 12:15pm

Weight Watchers Probably Won't Help You Lose Tons of Weight, So Maybe Stop Dieting?

Weight Watchers is an institution. For almost five decades, it's been seen as the sane alternative to the dump truck of more intense dieting programs that surround us. Unlike incredibly restrictive programs such as Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, which include their own chemical-death meals in Lilliputian portions, or… »12/04/12 1:15pm12/04/12 1:15pm

New Crash Diet Book Wants You to Starve, Freeze, Stop Eating Vegetables

Have you heard about Six Weeks to OMG: Get Skinnier Than All Your Friends, the fad diet du jour that claims "broccoli carbs can be worse than soda carbs" and "small, frequent meals pack on the pounds"? We haven't covered the book (because the title alone represents everything we oppose), but if you commute to work,… »8/14/12 2:30pm8/14/12 2:30pm