In theory, penises roam free in all shapes and sizes. But, according to a new British study, most peen fits within a pretty small average range. Mind. Blown. Sorta. » 3/03/15 2:00pm Yesterday 2:00pm

Neil Patrick Harris, host of the 2015 Oscars, explained the, er, shapeliness of his peen during last night's show on Live with Kelly and Michael Monday morning and it's all about doubling up. Unfortunately, it was one of the most interesting parts of the 17,000 hour show, which tells you something. » 2/23/15 11:10am 2/23/15 11:10am

Dicks: they're just like salamanders. Am I right, dicks? Nah, I'm wrong, as usual. Though scientific progress in the contemporary world is such that 100 heroes are currently making plans to voyage to Mars for the purpose of dying, the human penis cannot just willy-nilly regenerate its majestic sheath—as of yet. » 2/18/15 10:30am 2/18/15 10:30am

People aren't vaccinating their children and another Bush is running for President, so let's gather 'round for yet another story that truly has no winners. A 17-year-old girl in South Africa poured battery acid on her boyfriend's penis after she discovered that he had filmed them having sex. Ah, young love. » 2/03/15 5:50pm 2/03/15 5:50pm

Manspreading—which is somehow both annoying and hilarious—was handled on Wednesday's Daily Show thanks to Senior Women's Correspondent Kristen Schaal. She just wants dudes to continue their reign across the world and the seats … while showing us a bit of soft ball hair in the process. Come on, sugar balls! » 1/29/15 10:50am 1/29/15 10:50am

Alert: A film called Digging for Fire premiered at Sundance and it's about...something. The important part is that Chris Messina appears nude in it. Go see it. » 1/28/15 4:00pm 1/28/15 4:00pm

Congratulations, climate change deniers: You've won. In your quest to convince everyone that pollution and global warming doesn't exist you've hurt the only beings that can't hurt you back: The Coke-loving polar bears. You've hurt them right in their soft fuzzy dicks. » 1/26/15 4:45pm 1/26/15 4:45pm

Last month the porn film industry announced that two male performers in Nevada tested positive for HIV, and now state health officials are considering a law that would require all porn stars to wrap it up on set. » 1/24/15 4:30pm 1/24/15 4:30pm

A man named Shaun blew out his back and couldn't perform his usual sexual duties on account of his injury. Naturally, he obtained a doctor's note to prove it. » 1/23/15 1:10pm 1/23/15 1:10pm

"I thought it was the most simple, primal gesture—and you know I love a simply tiny, little gesture that packs the wallop," designer Rick Owens said regarding the three peek-a-boo dicks that flapped down the runway yesterday during his fall 2015 menswear show. » 1/23/15 12:50pm 1/23/15 12:50pm

In Germany, a sensible country that is known for its cleanliness, a judge ruled that a tenant can pee all over his apartment floor without worrying about the wrath of his landlord or the damage his acidic urine may cause to the floor. » 1/22/15 11:35pm 1/22/15 11:35pm

Rick Owens' menswear show today in Paris was a mishmash of raw edges, high necklines, earth tones, and dicks. Donald Ducking Is Officially In. This post is NSFW. » 1/22/15 2:50pm 1/22/15 2:50pm

If there's one thing I love about parties, aside from the punch and potential to make out with a stranger in the coatroom, it's the parting gifts, like a fresh dick tattoo drawn on by a drunk friend with a DIY tattoo gun. » 1/11/15 6:20pm 1/11/15 6:20pm

Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the… » 12/30/14 12:10pm 12/30/14 12:10pm

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. That said, HOLY SHIT WOULD YOU DO THIS SEX POSITION AND/OR HAVE YOU DONE IT? (NSFW after the jump, NSFAnywhere). » 12/18/14 5:50pm 12/18/14 5:50pm

In case you have not noticed, The Catholic Establishment freaks out whenever religious iconography is "desecrated," aka someone else besides them is making money off it. In the latest case, noted homophobes the Catholic League are freaking out because Tom Ford put a dick in the shape of a cross at the end of a… » 12/16/14 6:45pm 12/16/14 6:45pm

Today, our lame duck Congress is whittling away its time until the end of its term by interrogating an Obamacare architect who said (correctly) on tape that many Americans are stupid. While #JonathanGruber might be the new #Benghazi, at least one good thing came of it: a solid dick joke from House Oversight Chair… » 12/09/14 12:30pm 12/09/14 12:30pm

My deepest apologies in advance—I didn't meant mean to hurt you. It is my sorry duty to report that Glenn Beck, a grown man, uses the word "winkie" to describe his penis and the penises of other men. » 11/07/14 6:50pm 11/07/14 6:50pm