Have you heard there’s going to be an Eggplant Emoji movie? Oh, no? Well, there is one. It’s about a severed dick.

The only good thing about the mostly overrated Wonder Woman is the slight erection it gave me—slight, I’ll emphasize, not full; my dick has been known to get harder and more impressive, but I’m in a forgiving mood.

Hours after dick pic enthusiast and serial harasser Anthony Weiner pled guilty for transferring obscene material to a minor, Huma Abedin filed for divorce.

There are a lot of things to love about Starz’s new adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. It’s stylish. It’s trippy. It’s proof that epic fantasy dramas can and should feature people of color. If we’re being honest, though, the best thing about the show is the sheer amount of quality dicks in it.

2016 was the year prestige television finally heard the clarion call for gender egalitarianism in on-screen nudity—which is not to say they exactly heeded our demands of tit-for-chut, but they did show an unprecedented amount of male genitalia.

It’s hard to imagine a more fitting bookend to Donald Trump’s freudian howl of a presidential campaign than a 67-year-old in a camo hat jiggling his tiny man parts onstage at a campaign rally. Just one more day, ladies and gentlemen.

Before seeing them perform alongside Eleven’s older sister Halsey at this year’s VMAs, I didn’t know much of anything about The Chainsmokers apart from the fact that they were responsible for one of my favorite pop songs of the past couple years, “Roses.” Based on that track, I assumed they were a European (I didn’t…

Are you a man who is constantly frustrated, but unsure where to channel that pent up energy? Do you feel like a force beyond your control is leading you astray, yet you refuse to ask for directions? Is your personal compass always pointing North, even when you’re facing South? If you answered yes to any of these…

Congratulations, folks, we may have just arrived at the most on-the-nose metaphor of the 2016 election.

On Saturday, 50 Cent’s penis pranced out in public during an episode of Starz’s Power, on which he plays a drug lord named Kanan, and he seems upset about it. I say “seems” because, before he complained about the sex scene on Instagram, he was pretty excited about it during an interview with TV Guide.

Oh Newt. You predictable dick.

After a deeply embarrassing try for the presidency, Chris Christie has returned to his job pissing off the people of New Jersey, which he does by utilizing his unique, innate, God-given ability to be a real asshole. On Monday, for the second time, Christie vetoed a bill that would have kept domestic abusers from…

Alleged large dick-haver The Game has taken advantage of all the attention he’s gotten from showing his penis print on Instagram by launching a line of men’s underwear.

In an insanely petty use of resources, Florida Governor Rick Scott’s PAC has released an ad attacking the lady who yelled at him in a Starbucks. The woman, Cara Jennings, isn’t a current elected official or a public figure. She was just pissed at Rick Scott and he was right there.

Game of Thrones, a silly show about slow-moving, power-hungry dopes that I sort of hate but continue watching because I’ve spent far too much time to quit now, contains a lot of female nudity. Whether wandering in the back of a frame while two men drink wine, or shot in a lingering close-up beside a fully-clothed man,…

KKK rally port-a-potty holding tanks Ted Cruz and Donald Trump have teamed up against the real enemy: John Kasich.

A 35-year-old man from New York is currently loving his new penile implant, which he got after hearing his ex-fiancée complain about his dick size.

Earlier this month, we told you about Tom Hardy’s upcoming TV mini-series Taboo, which is about revenge or something, but the important thing was he’s nude in it. Now, here’s the full trailer explaining the “non-nude” part of the show, also probably known as the plot.

Several months ago, The Game showed off his “decorative towels” in a now infamous Instagram photo. The towels are nowhere in sight in his latest pic. Instead, it’s just a humongous (illegal?) dick.