<

Kevin Bacon Asks Hollywood Men to 'Free the Bacon' AKA Their Dicks

Kevin Bacon is sad, my babies. He is afflicted with a melancholy exclusive to those stifled by the burden of concealment, bedeviled by the inability to bare his true self to the world. But friends, this isn’t about his dwindling relevance—it’s about his dick. He wants to show it to you. » 8/04/15 4:20pm 8/04/15 4:20pm

Conceal That Pesky Accidental Boner With These New Boxers

Gentlemen, gaze upon your crotch’s deliverance. A team of Washington, D.C. fashion designers has launched an Indiegogo campaign for their new product, Bloxers, a special variety of boxer that will shield your raging boner from view. That’s right: you can pitch a tent at work and proceed with your board meeting, happy,… » 7/13/15 10:15pm 7/13/15 10:15pm

Introducing the Pseudopenis, or Why Female Hyenas Are Feminist as Fuck

Penis means power. The dominance of dicks and those who have them isn’t a coincidence, or the unavoidable consequence of Big Patriarchy keeping women down—rather, it’s a case of simple biology. In most mammalian embryos, the genital tubercle forms very early, later developing into either a penis or a clitoris, subject… » 7/06/15 2:30pm 7/06/15 2:30pm

Paul Rudd and Adam Scott Showed Their Dicks In a Wedding Video Once

During Wednesday’s Late Night, Adam Scott told Seth Meyers a story about filming a video that got both he and Paul Rudd kicked out of a wedding. 10 years ago, they were asked to take part in “one of those videos where all the buddies say congratulations” to their engaged friend. But instead of saying something like,… » 6/18/15 10:10am 6/18/15 10:10am

Watch Self-Described Bachelorette 'Catch' Ian Magically Turn Into a Dick

Ah, Ian. The shining star of this season of The Bachelorette: tall; in possession of an excellent head shape; a former model; went to Princeton; is a former track star who survived a horrible car accident; does charity work; can sing. But don’t just believe me—let him tell you himself!
» 6/16/15 10:10am 6/16/15 10:10am

Notre Dame Engulfed in Fierce Debate Over Dong-Heavy Nude Run

A campus official at the University of Notre Dame is attempting to put a stop to the “Bun Run,” when students from an all-male dorm strip down during finals week and run naked or lightly jockstrapped through campus. Rector Mamie Smith, who’s in charge of a women’s dorm, sent out an email calling the run… » 4/29/15 1:20pm 4/29/15 1:20pm

Man Born Without Dick Claims to Have Sexed Over 100 Women

Andrew Wardle may have been born without a peen, but that hasn’t stopped him from sleeping with over 100 women. The 40-year-old U.K. man has an extremely rare defect called penile agenesis, which occurs once in every 5 to 6 million births. Out of all his sexual conquests, Wardle claims to have only told 20% of them… » 4/26/15 4:15pm 4/26/15 4:15pm

Shockingly, 'Looking For a Girlfriend' Dude Seems Like Kind of a Dick

If you’re in New York City, you’ve probably passed a flyer with a picture of a man named Dan Perino proclaiming that he’s “Looking for a Girlfriend.” Did you respond to his advertisement? Well, someone did. Actually, if you believe what he told Jena Friedman, a lot of someones did. » 4/14/15 2:10pm 4/14/15 2:10pm

Chinless Monster Todd Kincannon Arrested on Domestic Violence Charges

Former short-lived South Carolina Republican Party executive director and self-styled Twitter provocateur Todd Kincannon has been arrested on domestic violence charges. Kincannon says that he didn’t have any memory of the incident that led to his arrest, that he’d overdosed on Benzonatate and his brain, arms, and… » 4/06/15 11:45pm 4/06/15 11:45pm

Here Is the Secret to Neil Patrick Harris' Shapely Oscar Penis

Neil Patrick Harris, host of the 2015 Oscars, explained the, er, shapeliness of his peen during last night's show on Live with Kelly and Michael Monday morning and it's all about doubling up. Unfortunately, it was one of the most interesting parts of the 17,000 hour show, which tells you something. » 2/23/15 11:10am 2/23/15 11:10am

Finally, Men Will Be Able to Regrow Foreskin Like a Lizard With a Tail

Dicks: they're just like salamanders. Am I right, dicks? Nah, I'm wrong, as usual. Though scientific progress in the contemporary world is such that 100 heroes are currently making plans to voyage to Mars for the purpose of dying, the human penis cannot just willy-nilly regenerate its majestic sheath—as of yet. » 2/18/15 10:30am 2/18/15 10:30am