Here Is the Secret to Neil Patrick Harris' Shapely Oscar Penis

Neil Patrick Harris, host of the 2015 Oscars, explained the, er, shapeliness of his peen during last night's show on Live with Kelly and Michael Monday morning and it's all about doubling up. Unfortunately, it was one of the most interesting parts of the 17,000 hour show, which tells you something. » 2/23/15 11:10am 2/23/15 11:10am

Finally, Men Will Be Able to Regrow Foreskin Like a Lizard With a Tail

Dicks: they're just like salamanders. Am I right, dicks? Nah, I'm wrong, as usual. Though scientific progress in the contemporary world is such that 100 heroes are currently making plans to voyage to Mars for the purpose of dying, the human penis cannot just willy-nilly regenerate its majestic sheath—as of yet. » 2/18/15 10:30am 2/18/15 10:30am

Teenager Throws Acid On Boyfriend's Penis Over Secret Sex Tape 

People aren't vaccinating their children and another Bush is running for President, so let's gather 'round for yet another story that truly has no winners. A 17-year-old girl in South Africa poured battery acid on her boyfriend's penis after she discovered that he had filmed them having sex. Ah, young love. » 2/03/15 5:50pm 2/03/15 5:50pm

'United We Sit!' The Daily Show Boldly Supports Manspreading

Manspreading—which is somehow both annoying and hilarious—was handled on Wednesday's Daily Show thanks to Senior Women's Correspondent Kristen Schaal. She just wants dudes to continue their reign across the world and the seats … while showing us a bit of soft ball hair in the process. Come on, sugar balls! » 1/29/15 10:50am 1/29/15 10:50am

The Long and Short of It: 2014's Best, Biggest, and Brightest Dicks

The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that… » 12/30/14 3:11pm 12/30/14 3:11pm

Play-Doh Ruins Childhood With Dick-Shaped 'Extruder' Toy

Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the… » 12/30/14 12:10pm 12/30/14 12:10pm

Catholic Group So, So Mad About Tom Ford's Cross-Shaped Dick Pendant

In case you have not noticed, The Catholic Establishment freaks out whenever religious iconography is "desecrated," aka someone else besides them is making money off it. In the latest case, noted homophobes the Catholic League are freaking out because Tom Ford put a dick in the shape of a cross at the end of a… » 12/16/14 6:45pm 12/16/14 6:45pm

Darrell Issa's Dick Joke Only Good Thing Congress Has Done This Year

Today, our lame duck Congress is whittling away its time until the end of its term by interrogating an Obamacare architect who said (correctly) on tape that many Americans are stupid. While #JonathanGruber might be the new #Benghazi, at least one good thing came of it: a solid dick joke from House Oversight Chair… » 12/09/14 12:30pm 12/09/14 12:30pm