Woman's Hero Neighbors Laugh Her Stupid Boyfriend Out of Her Building

New York City is a crowded place but for one woman on the Upper East Side. This is a good, no, great thing, because her neighbors helped her break up with a no-good boyfriend. » 3/19/15 1:30pm 3/19/15 1:30pm

Here Is the Average Dick Size. Are You Surprised?

In theory, penises roam free in all shapes and sizes. But, according to a new British study, most peen fits within a pretty small average range. Mind. Blown. Sorta. » 3/03/15 2:00pm 3/03/15 2:00pm

Here Is the Secret to Neil Patrick Harris' Shapely Oscar Penis

Neil Patrick Harris, host of the 2015 Oscars, explained the, er, shapeliness of his peen during last night's show on Live with Kelly and Michael Monday morning and it's all about doubling up. Unfortunately, it was one of the most interesting parts of the 17,000 hour show, which tells you something. » 2/23/15 11:10am 2/23/15 11:10am

Finally, Men Will Be Able to Regrow Foreskin Like a Lizard With a Tail

Dicks: they're just like salamanders. Am I right, dicks? Nah, I'm wrong, as usual. Though scientific progress in the contemporary world is such that 100 heroes are currently making plans to voyage to Mars for the purpose of dying, the human penis cannot just willy-nilly regenerate its majestic sheath—as of yet. » 2/18/15 10:30am 2/18/15 10:30am

How to Take the Perfect Valentine's Day Dick Pic

Valentine's Day is upon us, which means that you'll be doing one of two things today: Either you'll be sneering about how you don't participate in commercially-motivated bullshit holidays, or else you'll be frantically scrambling for the perfect gift idea for the babe(s) in your life. » 2/14/15 1:00pm 2/14/15 1:00pm

Teenager Throws Acid On Boyfriend's Penis Over Secret Sex Tape 

People aren't vaccinating their children and another Bush is running for President, so let's gather 'round for yet another story that truly has no winners. A 17-year-old girl in South Africa poured battery acid on her boyfriend's penis after she discovered that he had filmed them having sex. Ah, young love. » 2/03/15 5:50pm 2/03/15 5:50pm

'United We Sit!' The Daily Show Boldly Supports Manspreading

Manspreading—which is somehow both annoying and hilarious—was handled on Wednesday's Daily Show thanks to Senior Women's Correspondent Kristen Schaal. She just wants dudes to continue their reign across the world and the seats … while showing us a bit of soft ball hair in the process. Come on, sugar balls! » 1/29/15 10:50am 1/29/15 10:50am

Chris Messina and His Penis Star in a Sundance Film

Alert: A film called Digging for Fire premiered at Sundance and it's about...something. The important part is that Chris Messina appears nude in it. Go see it. » 1/28/15 4:00pm 1/28/15 4:00pm

Polar Bear Dicks Now Just Breaking Off Due to Climate Change

Congratulations, climate change deniers: You've won. In your quest to convince everyone that pollution and global warming doesn't exist you've hurt the only beings that can't hurt you back: The Coke-loving polar bears. You've hurt them right in their soft fuzzy dicks. » 1/26/15 4:45pm 1/26/15 4:45pm

Nevada Considers Making Porn Stars Wrap It Up On Set

Last month the porn film industry announced that two male performers in Nevada tested positive for HIV, and now state health officials are considering a law that would require all porn stars to wrap it up on set. » 1/24/15 4:30pm 1/24/15 4:30pm

Dude Gets a Doctor's Note to Avoid Strenuous Work During Sex

A man named Shaun blew out his back and couldn't perform his usual sexual duties on account of his injury. Naturally, he obtained a doctor's note to prove it. » 1/23/15 1:10pm 1/23/15 1:10pm

Rick Owens on Runway Dicks: 'I Love A Tiny Little Gesture'

"I thought it was the most simple, primal gesture—and you know I love a simply tiny, little gesture that packs the wallop," designer Rick Owens said regarding the three peek-a-boo dicks that flapped down the runway yesterday during his fall 2015 menswear show. » 1/23/15 12:00pm 1/23/15 12:00pm

Man Wins Right to Pee All Over His Apartment Floor

In Germany, a sensible country that is known for its cleanliness, a judge ruled that a tenant can pee all over his apartment floor without worrying about the wrath of his landlord or the damage his acidic urine may cause to the floor. » 1/22/15 11:35pm 1/22/15 11:35pm

So Much Peen at the Rick Owens Menswear Show

Rick Owens' menswear show today in Paris was a mishmash of raw edges, high necklines, earth tones, and dicks. Donald Ducking Is Officially In. This post is NSFW. » 1/22/15 2:20pm 1/22/15 2:20pm

Woman Awakes After Party to Find a Dick Tattooed on Her Shoulder

If there's one thing I love about parties, aside from the punch and potential to make out with a stranger in the coatroom, it's the parting gifts, like a fresh dick tattoo drawn on by a drunk friend with a DIY tattoo gun. » 1/11/15 6:20pm 1/11/15 6:20pm

The Long and Short of It: 2014's Best, Biggest, and Brightest Dicks

The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that… » 12/30/14 3:10pm 12/30/14 3:10pm

Play-Doh Ruins Childhood With Dick-Shaped 'Extruder' Toy

Parents are hopping mad about a Play-Doh accessory that sounds and kind of looks like a very uncomfortable plastic dildo. What, the parents wonder, are they supposed to tell their kids when they ask why the toy is shaped like a big hard dick with an honest-to-goodness coronal ridge? Won't somebody thing of the… » 12/30/14 12:10pm 12/30/14 12:10pm

Would You Attempt This Insane Sex Position? (Have You?!?)

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. That said, HOLY SHIT WOULD YOU DO THIS SEX POSITION AND/OR HAVE YOU DONE IT? (NSFW after the jump, NSFAnywhere). » 12/18/14 5:50pm 12/18/14 5:50pm