Thurston Moore Confirms He Is a Dick
Aging indie rock cool guy Thurston Moore spoke publicly for the first about the end of his marriage to ageless indie rock cool lady Kim Gordon to a UK magazine recently. And, predictably, he sounds like a dickhole.
Loving Husband Draws 365 Dicks for His Adored Wife
Anyone who has been to a Jesus-based church wedding knows that the Bible says love is patient, love is kind, love lasts forever. Etc etc etc. But here's another love is that you won't hear uttered from behind a pulpit: Love is 365 artfully rendered dicks on a whiteboard.
Gah, There's a Hidden Penis in An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
There are no cats in America and the streets are drawn with diiiiiiiiiiicks!
Moron Politician Is Super Sorry He Called Congresswoman 'Some Bimbo'
A bitter (and, quite frankly, kind of crazy-sounding) California ex-Congressman named Joe Baca gave a super unhinged interview today after the woman who won a congressional election against him announced she wouldn't run for reelection. He was mad. He was say-super-sexist-shit mad.
Break Your Man's Penis With Cosmo's Ridiculous Olympic Sex Tips
In honor of the upcoming Winter Games, this month's issue of Cosmopolitan tailored its monthly offering of sex tips around an Olympics theme. And, like the Olympics, only the world's most elite athletes should try them. Seriously. They're cock-snappingly harrowing.
The Uplifting Tale Of One Bro's Fledgling Japanese Sex Toy Addiction
Ever seen a blog post about a weird sex toy designed to simulate the feeling of a vagina and thought, what kind of a lonely fuck would use one of those? The same chairsniffers who buy used women's underwear off ebay? I mean, probably. But also: Male journo-bloggers who are doing it "as a joke."
Chris Christie Is a Petty Asshole
Today, new emails have surfaced that prove what many have long suspected: Chris Christie is a vindictive, bullying asshole who has no business running a White Castle, much less an entire state.
Here Is the True Story of a Man With Two Dicks
It was once written (in the Bible, maybe?) that "two are better than one" and it's a statement true enough for a lot of things. It's true for cakes, kittens, Weasley twins, bongo drums, socks and chopsticks, but is it also true for one man with two penises? Apparently, it is — at least according to one individual who has …
Classy Revenge Porn Mogul Offered Victims 'Reputation Management' Help
This week, California authorities arrested revenge porn kingpin Kevin Christopher Bollaert for extorting women whose nude photos he'd feature on a "revenge porn" website he started. Bollaert also offered the women featured on his site help with "reputation management"... for a price.
Guy Arrested for Revenge Porn Is Really Sorry, Hates Revenge Porn Now
In December of 2012, Kevin Bollaert, an intrepid 26-year-old San Diego entrepreneur, came up with a foolproof business plan: a website where men could vindictively post nude photographs and personal contact information of bitches they hate, and then if the bitches want it all taken down they have to pay $350! WHAT…
Whiny Manchild Designs Shoes Based On Exes, Calls It Art
Whip out your tiny violins for artist Sebastian Errazuriz, who this week at Art Basel debuted a collection of women's shoes inspired by 12 women who, at one time or another, gave him boners. Each boner shoe has its own accompanying story, like an American Girl doll except every story is ultimately about a whiny guy…
A Handy State-By-State Ranking of Dick Size
A condom company has lovingly compiled a state-by-state ranking of dick size based on sales of large-sized condoms. Congratulations, North Dakota (Dickota?). Condolences, Mississippi.
What's With All the Dick Stories This Week?
Is there something in the (dick) air? Should we give dick a chance? Are we being reminded to be thankful for dick? Because everywhere I looked lately I feel I am getting pounded by penises. It was like the Internet equivalent of that notebook in Superbad with all the dicks drawn on it. It's like I cranked up the…
The Sexy Sexually-Active Men of Erectile Dysfunction Ads
It’s the middle of the football season, which means it’s the height of older male demographic TV season — which means it’s PDE5 inhibitor advertising season.
Inevitably Disgusting Sexts From the Racist 'Sleepless in Austin' Dude
Hey, remember this guy? The one who posted a hilariously specific list of stringent requirements for his ideal (super hot and DEFINITELY NOT BLACK) girlfriend? Well, I'm sorry to inform you that he's back. And this time, we've got sexts.
Is the Penis Dangerous?
In a wonderful article called It’s Only a Penis, anthropologist Christine Helliwell talks of how her time with the Dayak community of Gerai in Indonesian Borneo changed her perceptions of the sexual body. She writes of a time when a man crept through a window and into the bed of a sleeping woman. She continues:
Screenwriter Bro Just Might Be Hollywood's Biggest Fuckwit
Hey, Max Landis: it's not impressive to "be true to yourself" if "yourself" is a dick.
Saudi Cleric Stupidly Says Women Hurt Their Ladyparts When They Drive
Ahead of yet another campaign urging women to defy Saudi Arabia’s dude-only driving rules in a protest drive on October 26, a conservative Saudi cleric has used his thoroughly medieval understanding of human organs to argue that women who drive cars risk damaging their ovaries and giving birth to children with clinical …
Fossilized Bear Penis Bones Solve Eternal Mystery of Ancient Bear Sex
If you possess even a glimmer of innate curiosity and reverence for the natural world, you likely spend a lot of time wondering what sex was like for prehistoric bears. "Yes, I know modern bear intercourse looks like," you probably think as you futilely court sleep in the wan hours before dawn, "But what about those…
