Remember when hot tubs used to be associated with images of 80’s-style sexiness? Well now you can associate them with diarrhea. The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention recently released a report detailing outbreaks of the creepy-sounding cryptosporidium, a microscopic parasite that causes the runs, which people…
It's the end of an era! Specifically, an era when you could readily locate and pay full price for pastel terrycloth trackpants with the word "JUICY" emblazoned real big across the butt. Juicy Couture—early-oughts icon and ever-present uniform of girls who were mean to me in college—is shuttering all of its US stores…
Well, it is. That one magical day every fall when Hand Santa-tizer (SORRY) plops down the chimney and fills all the dirty children's socks with Purell. Make sure you leave some urinal cakes out for him to snack on! Then go scrub your filth.
In 2008 I was living in Paraguay. I had just started my two-year stint as a Peace Corps volunteer and I was in charge of procuring my own work. Arts and crafts projects would have been a simple way to improve the community while I adjusted to an entirely new diet and language. But I had little patience and thought I…
Look, talking about bowel health isn't pleasant, which is why it's relegated to squeamish doctor's visits, euphemistic Pepto Bismol ads scored by fart symphonies, and the pencil-mustachioed, infomercial snake oil purveyor Klee Irwin, but we need to talk about it because, well, it's important. It's especially important…
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the biweekly "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy.
I was watching the Biggest Loser on Tuesday at the gym, (Is it masochistic to watch a weight-loss show while working out? Sadistic? Just ooky? Whatever. I digress.) and I noticed a commercial for Extra! Gum, touting it as "the long lasting 5-calorie snack" that will "take you from 'nice gut' to 'nice butt.'" The…
You might have noticed that this week's 'Midweek Madness' trailed off somewhere around the Bauer Publishing titles, otherwise known as In Touch and Life & Style. Here's the thing about those magazines: They should really not exist. We know we say that a lot and it is getting old and by the way fuck you, but what we…
