The Truth About Chocolate Diamonds

You may see them all year long, but ad campaigns for sparkly jewelry really ramp up between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. But in the past few years, the usual suspects — "a diamond is forever" and "he went to Jared" and "every kiss begins with Kay" — have been joined by a newcomer: The "chocolate" diamond. » 2/13/14 2:40pm 2/13/14 2:40pm

This Hilarious Bacon Commercial Perfectly Spoofs Stupid Diamond Ads

"Cut, color, cure, consistency: These are the four factors of the Oscar Mayer original strip. When it's time for the ultimate expression of love, say it on a plate." Get rid of just a few words in that copy and you're basically listening to someone try to shill you some shiny rocks. But no, it's Oscar Mayer (via some ad… » 6/05/13 2:20pm 6/05/13 2:20pm

A Quarter of All Diamonds In Stores Are Blood Diamonds, and Nobody Can …

I don't know about you but I barely made it through Blood Diamond. The 2006 Leo-helmed torture-porn about diamond runners during the Sierra Leone Civil War really fucked me up. After sobbing through most of the movie, I cursed my greedy western brethren, and vowed to never, ever wear a conflict diamond. However, in the … » 1/07/13 10:20am 1/07/13 10:20am

Finally! A Lifeless Rock in the Void of Space that Women Can Enjoy!

Move over, Jennifer Aniston's stupid finger-boulder! There's a new obscenely large diamond thingy in town! According to science, there is a great big planet out in space that is kind of named canker sore, and is also MADE OF SPARKLING DIAMONDS. Ladies, I hope you have your spit-up towels handy, because you've got some… » 10/11/12 7:00pm 10/11/12 7:00pm

Your Diamond Engagement Ring Was Originally Vagina Insurance

Laaaaaaadies! How about diamonds, amirite? Diamonds!!! I know we all think we love diamonds because we're ladies and they're diamonds and they're sparkly and we're hypnotized by shiny objects (actually, my husband proposed by flashing the back of a Coldplay CD at me!). But, as it turns out, we didn't always have such… » 4/05/12 7:00pm 4/05/12 7:00pm

Turns Out Diamonds Aren't Really Your Best Friend After All

A global advocacy group called Global Witness has recused itself from a coalition that aims to eliminate the flow of blood diamonds into the global marketplace, saying the safeguards that have been put in place aren't preventing tainted conflict gems from being bought by consumers. I guess diamonds are maybe more like… » 12/05/11 6:30pm 12/05/11 6:30pm

Celebrate Your Split With A Hideous Diamond 'Divorce Ring'

After your marriage ends, you may be in a celebratory mood or want to mark the milestone by buying yourself a piece of jewelry. Yet, we're still mystified by the existence of of Spritzer and Furman's $3,200 "Divorce Ring." Even if you feel like a sparkly diamond rising phoenix-like from a broken marriage, why would you… » 9/01/11 9:30am 9/01/11 9:30am

Supermodel Selita Ebanks's Diamond Underwear Bruised Her Vadge

Although we'd always naturally assumed that wearing underwear made out of metal and precious gems would be totally comfortable, Selita Ebanks says that is most emphatically not the case. Ebanks, who wore the Magical Diamond Bra And Panty Set Of Destiny in the 2007 Victoria's Secret fashion show, says that the stones… » 8/26/11 12:40pm 8/26/11 12:40pm

Diamond Planet Discovered, Ladies Attempt To Contain Themselves

Astronomers have spotted a planet that appears to be made of a diamond orbiting around a tiny star. The planet, which is 4,000 light years away, is denser than any other known and is made of mostly carbon. It's believed that the carbon is in a crystalline pattern, making the planet a diamond. It's truly a fascinating… » 8/26/11 9:20am 8/26/11 9:20am

Diamond Contact Lenses Test Girls' Tolerance For "Best Friend"

We thought vajazzling was the final frontier of making body parts sparkle, but we were wrong. India's Shekhar Eye Research Center has developed gold-plated, diamond-encrusted contact lenses that sell for $15,000. Creator Dr. Chandrashekhar Chawan says he came up with the idea after his wife had diamonds implanted in… » 8/05/11 1:10pm 8/05/11 1:10pm

A Very Elaborate Ruse To Make You Crave Diamonds

Tiffany & Co. has started a new campaign, which includes a new website, What Makes Love True, and a short film called Will You Marry Me, "presented" by Edward Burns. It's an incredibly charming clip, very romantic and very well done. One could almost forget that it's all part of a carefully orchestrated plot to convince… » 7/28/11 5:55pm 7/28/11 5:55pm

12-Year-Old Designer Is Proof Our Culture Has Gone Very, Very Wrong

  • Precocious-in-the-bad-way tween "designer" Cecilia Cassini, who sells $500 dresses, says she took "like, three" sewing classes, but quit because her teacher was "like, rude." We have a feeling one day soon Cassini will be horribly embarrassed of all this.
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