​Diane Guerrero Describes Life After Her Parents' Deportation

At age 14, Diane Guerrero—who you probably know as Maritza Ramos in Orange is the New Black—came home from school one day to a completely empty house after her Colombian immigrant parents and older brother were taken into custody by immigration officers, set to be deported. In a touching op-ed piece for LA Times, the… » 11/15/14 3:30pm 11/15/14 3:30pm

Canadian Rapscallion Justin Bieber Should Be Deported, Says American Guy

Justin Bieber, the Menace from Manitoba, the Villain of Vancouver, the Cretin in Calgary, the Lawbreaker from London (that one is actually accurate) should be kicked out of the United States, a country whose innocence he has, with his loose Canadian morals and possible SOCIALIST sympathies, officially destroyed as of… » 2/02/14 2:00pm 2/02/14 2:00pm

Canadians, Please Come Pick Up Justin Bieber and Take Him Home.

Canadian export Justin Bieber was arrested in Miami last night for drunk driving, and a Dade County judge set Justin Bieber's bail at $2,500 (approximately how much he makes every time just .00002 seconds of "Baby" is played). As the antics of a 19-year-old boy grow ever more tiresome, Americans must wonder: Is there… » 1/23/14 5:45pm 1/23/14 5:45pm

Missing American Teen Accidentally Deported To Colombia

A 15-year-old Dallas girl who ran away from home in the fall of 2010 has finally turned up in what's pretty much the last place you'd expect to find her. Jakadrien Turner is now locked up in a Colombian prison, the country is refusing to send her back to the U.S., and she may be pregnant. Even more incredibly, Turner… » 1/05/12 10:00am 1/05/12 10:00am

Michele Bachmann, Visionary, Calls For English To Be Declared Official…

Speaking to a crowd in South Florida and demonstrating the tact and progressive thinking for which she's now universally acclaimed, Midwestern embarrassment Michele Bachmann told a crowd in the heavily Spanish speaking neck of the woods that illegal immigrants should be deported, babies born in the US shouldn't… » 12/02/11 2:10pm 12/02/11 2:10pm