Sorry, Guys: Binge Drinking as a Teen Raises Risk of Early Dementia

There are a lot of late-in-life negative side effects of excessive drinking during your teenage years: a total aversion to the "Sunset Blush" flavor of Franzia, an unending arsenal of humiliating Throwback Thursday photos for your mean-spirited friends and frenemies to avail themselves of, and so on. According to a… » 8/12/13 6:20pm 8/12/13 6:20pm

Speaking a Second Language Could Keep You from Getting Dementia

Wait, speaking multiple languages keeps your brain young? Goddamnit. The closest I ever came to learning a second language is that my mom speaks passable Norwegian when she's drunk (I suppose I'm glad my childhood wasn't one long Drunkmomwegian immersion program), which means that I am impenetrably, painfully… » 1/09/13 2:10pm 1/09/13 2:10pm

Daytime Naps Are Slowly Corroding Our Brains

The faceless, nameless "they" of modern science have found a link between "excessive sleep" (and also too little sleep, so watch out for that) and dementia in the elderly, who usually conk out for a while sometime in the afternoon because their bodies need a rest. » 7/22/12 3:00pm 7/22/12 3:00pm

Nestle Invests in Magical Anti-Dementia Milkshake

Uuuuuuugh, milkshake—you cruel vixen. Milkshakes are simultaneously the food I most desire and the food I can least justify eating. Essentially a method of injecting massive amounts of melted ice cream into one's bloodstream the shortest time possible (YESSS), milkshakes are obv terrible for your body. But it turns out … » 7/20/12 10:00am 7/20/12 10:00am

Nursing Homes Aren't Letting Old People Have Enough Sex

There are some things that sound pretty nice about spending your final years in a nursing home. You have people to do your laundry for you, you don't have to cook, and you have a ready-made group of friends to go around stirring up mischief with. But, of course, there are plenty of obvious downsides too. And one of… » 6/25/12 11:00pm 6/25/12 11:00pm

Obesity Linked to Dementia; Obesity Studies Linked to Shitty Behavior

Great! Just what fat people need. A Korean study released this week links high BMI and high levels of abdominal fat to "lower cognitive function" and dementia later in life. So now anti-fat crusaders can be sure to let fat people know that they're not just fat and lazy and disgusting, they're also fucking stupid! Because … » 3/22/12 7:00pm 3/22/12 7:00pm

Pat Summitt Diagnosed With Early-Onset Dementia

In a video announcement, Pat Summitt made the shocking disclosure that she's been diagnosed with dementia at a mere 59 years old. The Hall of Fame Coach said she started to notice strange behaviors last season like behaving "erratically" and second-guessing her decisions on the basketball court. It is rare that someone… » 8/24/11 11:05am 8/24/11 11:05am