Sorry, Guys: Binge Drinking as a Teen Raises Risk of Early Dementia

There are a lot of late-in-life negative side effects of excessive drinking during your teenage years: a total aversion to the "Sunset Blush" flavor of Franzia, an unending arsenal of humiliating Throwback Thursday photos for your mean-spirited friends and frenemies to avail themselves of, and so on. According to a… » 8/12/13 6:20pm 8/12/13 6:20pm

Speaking a Second Language Could Keep You from Getting Dementia

Wait, speaking multiple languages keeps your brain young? Goddamnit. The closest I ever came to learning a second language is that my mom speaks passable Norwegian when she's drunk (I suppose I'm glad my childhood wasn't one long Drunkmomwegian immersion program), which means that I am impenetrably, painfully… » 1/09/13 2:10pm 1/09/13 2:10pm

Nestle Invests in Magical Anti-Dementia Milkshake

Uuuuuuugh, milkshake—you cruel vixen. Milkshakes are simultaneously the food I most desire and the food I can least justify eating. Essentially a method of injecting massive amounts of melted ice cream into one's bloodstream the shortest time possible (YESSS), milkshakes are obv terrible for your body. But it turns… » 7/20/12 10:00am 7/20/12 10:00am

Nursing Homes Aren't Letting Old People Have Enough Sex

There are some things that sound pretty nice about spending your final years in a nursing home. You have people to do your laundry for you, you don't have to cook, and you have a ready-made group of friends to go around stirring up mischief with. But, of course, there are plenty of obvious downsides too. And one of… » 6/25/12 11:00pm 6/25/12 11:00pm

Pat Summitt Steps Down Due to Early Onset Dementia

Long time University of Tennessee women's basketball coach and legendary badass Pat Summitt announced today that she'll be stepping down from her post at the helm of one of the most successful programs in college sports, citing early-onset dementia that began affecting her last summer. She leaves the court the… » 4/18/12 7:15pm 4/18/12 7:15pm

Obesity Linked to Dementia; Obesity Studies Linked to Shitty Behavior

Great! Just what fat people need. A Korean study released this week links high BMI and high levels of abdominal fat to "lower cognitive function" and dementia later in life. So now anti-fat crusaders can be sure to let fat people know that they're not just fat and lazy and disgusting, they're also fucking stupid!… » 3/22/12 7:00pm 3/22/12 7:00pm

Pat Summitt Diagnosed With Early-Onset Dementia

In a video announcement, Pat Summitt made the shocking disclosure that she's been diagnosed with dementia at a mere 59 years old. The Hall of Fame Coach said she started to notice strange behaviors last season like behaving "erratically" and second-guessing her decisions on the basketball court. It is rare that… » 8/24/11 11:05am 8/24/11 11:05am