More Serious Issues Public Health Expert Jim Carrey Should Weigh In On 

This great country of ours is in the midst of a very contentious debate about whether vaccines are necessary (yes, God dammit, yes), a debate in which America’s greatest celebrity minds have added their voices. Last night, actor Jim Carrey really went for it. Good Lord, did he go for it. After his mini-tirade on the… »7/01/15 10:30am7/01/15 10:30am

A Woman Had Sex with 25 People at a Party and BroBible is Not Laughing

In a case of life imitating art, a woman had sex with roughly 25 men at a party after imitating the porn that played throughout the duration—she’s pregnant as of this post, not sure who the father is—and “bro code, hot girls and funny stories” destination BroBible does not think it’s funny. »4/13/15 9:50pm4/13/15 9:50pm

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

Answer: None, they only screw the poor. You'd think that joke would only be funny to the left-leaning among us, but you'd be wrong! According to a study in the science section of today's New York Times »11/04/08 9:30am11/04/08 9:30am, Republicans enjoy more than Democrats do. The study involved telling 300 people in Boston 3 different jokes: one…
One of the things that gives us penis mag envy every time we hit the newsstands is the fact that the

One of the things that gives us penis mag envy every time we hit the newsstands is the fact that they aren't afraid to search far and wide for people to whom to pose questions more existential than "Can u dispense a worthless platitude about finding a boyfriend suitable for 36-pt Helvetica pls?" Sometimes, of course,… »7/02/08 6:20pm7/02/08 6:20pm

Did Jesus Lift Up Dolly Parton's Tits So She Could Tour Once More?

Dolly Parton has been on tour. But didn't she cancel it on account of the weight of her heaving bosoms? "They say my tour's in shambles," she told an audience at Radio City Music Hall last night. "Welcome to shambles." Get thee to Atlantic City tonight, high rollers! But anyway, it was a report from Dolly's Virginia… »5/02/08 2:00pm5/02/08 2:00pm

New Glamour: All About Guys! (Matthew McConaughey Thought They Said High)

Time again for "Cover Lies", in which editorial geniuses Maria-Mercedes Lara and Cheryl Campbell rewrite the cover lines of America's favorite magazines to more accurately reflect the stories within. But first, TRUE CONFESSION!! We semi-dug the "guys" issue of Glamour. There was a really touching story about how DJ… »1/24/08 3:30pm1/24/08 3:30pm

How The Halliburton Rape Cases Explain Everything We Think About

"Is America establishing a culture of impunity among its contractors operating in areas of armed conflict?" That's the first line of a Harper's story on the Jamie Leigh Jones case — not to be brainfarted with the Jamie Lynn Spears case — now turning American attention to the problems created by outsourcing war to big… »12/19/07 5:20pm12/19/07 5:20pm

Best Quotes From Ann "Ass Creamer" Coulter Over the Last "Saggysack" Year

Some site called 'Right Wing News' has compiled a list of "The Best Quotes From The Last Year Of Ann Coulter Columns." (We think they're totally serious!) Coulter quotables like "Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage," are pretty funny on… »8/21/07 6:00pm8/21/07 6:00pm

Michael Moore Makes Us See Paris In A Whole New Light. And Not Just The Health Care!

I went to see the Michael Moore health care opus Sicko on Wednesday night with Pillhead. We thought it would be fun if we took extra psychotropic drugs beforehand. Perhaps this is why we both emerged anxious that our waterproof mascara had malfunctioned. That night Michael Moore had been scheduled to appear on Larry… »6/29/07 5:18pm6/29/07 5:18pm