Democratic Candidates Apparently Can't Bring Themselves to Say the Word 'Abortion' Onstage

It seemed odd to a lot of people that the Democratic candidates debated each other on five separate occasions without being asked about abortion. The situation became much more curious last night, when Bernie Sanders finally raised the issue — but without using the word “abortion.” Clinton, too, never used the actual…

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Carly Fiorina Swears to God, If You Keep Her Off That Fucking Debate Stage Again, So Help Her

After Tuesday night in New Hampshire, neither Carly Fiorina nor Ben Carson should be running for president anymore. Yet both of them still are, for some reason, and Fiorina is emphasizing how supremely pissed she’ll be if she’s not part of the next GOP debate. Let’s all sit back and wait for Carly to get supremely…

Pour Yourself a Stiff Drink, Here’s Your Open Thread for 2016’s First GOP Debate

Gather ‘round everyone, it’s the first Republican presidential debate of 2016! Taking place in Charleston, South Carolina, this debate — the SIXTH one we’ve had to endure — will feature the lowest amount of candidates on the stage thus far. Since Carly Fiorina and Rand Paul were bumped down to the earlier undercard…

Rand Paul Boycotts Undercard Debate, Because the Media, Polls, Reality Can't Tell Him What to Do

After months of poll numbers collapsing like a once proud but increasingly weary hairdo, Rand Paul was relegated to the “undercard” GOP debate planned for Thursday night, at No One Is Paying Attention O’Clock. He is not going, because this represents the media and the RNC toying with him.

In the Spirit of Unity, Join Jezebel and Gawker for a GOP Debate Liveblog 

Once again, under the withering eternal gaze of a cruel and unmerciful God, here we are: another GOP debate. Tonight, your favorite Addams Family LARPers take the stage at The Venetian in Las Vegas at 8:30 p.m. Eastern time, where no one will say anything inflammatory about Muslims and we certainly won’t be…

I Can't Believe We Still Have an Entire Goddamn Year Until Election Day

The first ballots in this election will be cast in only a few short months, Fox Business News waxed quixotic during last night’s GOP presidential debate coverage. The thought comforted me for about a second. Then I remembered that while the February 1 Iowa caucuses draw swiftly nigh, we still have a goddamn year…

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Oh! My Brain! Join Us Tonight For a Very Debatey Liveblog

Tonight, at the very rude time of 9 pm EST, Fox Business Network will take a break from its regular schedule of airing problems that appeal to 83-year-old gold hoarders and will instead air a debate between eight people who all think they’re auditioning to be a Fox Business News pundit. It’s the 783rd Republican…

GOP Candidates' Demand Letter to TV Networks: No 'Frivolousness' or 'Lightening' Rounds in Debates

The GOP presidential candidates, as we know, are very mad about being asked questions during the CNBC debate, and would like to keep such a thing from ever happening again. Washington Post reporters Robert Costa and Dave Weigel got hold of the letter they sent to every network hosting a debate. It’s amazing.

Rand Paul and Chris Christie Will Prepare for Tonight's Debate in Toilet Rooms 

Politico had a beautiful and perfect story late Tuesday about preparations for the next Republican debate, taking place Wednesday night in Boulder, Colorado. Every campaign got a “greenroom” to prepare, or, in the case of Chris Christie and Rand Paul, something that looks a lot like a repurposed toilet. Sometimes…