Donald Trump Officially Says No to Fake Debate He Was Never Really Considering

After Trump gave a half-joking sort of non-answer to Bernie Sanders’ request to debate during Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this week, Trump has finally clarified his answer that “if [Bernie] paid a nice sum for a charity, I would love to [debate]!” The clarification being that Trump, in fact, meant “no.”

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Sweet Merciful Long-Suffering God, Here's Your Open Thread for Yet Another Democratic Debate

Sometimes you say to yourself, “Didn’t we just have a goddamned debate?” and you’re wrong. It can just feel that way, because our days are swift and fleeting, like the leaves on a fast-dying tree. But sometimes you’re right, because literally, the last Democratic debate was three damn days ago.

Democratic Candidates Apparently Can't Bring Themselves to Say the Word 'Abortion' Onstage

It seemed odd to a lot of people that the Democratic candidates debated each other on five separate occasions without being asked about abortion. The situation became much more curious last night, when Bernie Sanders finally raised the issue — but without using the word “abortion.” Clinton, too, never used the actual…

Carly Fiorina Swears to God, If You Keep Her Off That Fucking Debate Stage Again, So Help Her

After Tuesday night in New Hampshire, neither Carly Fiorina nor Ben Carson should be running for president anymore. Yet both of them still are, for some reason, and Fiorina is emphasizing how supremely pissed she’ll be if she’s not part of the next GOP debate. Let’s all sit back and wait for Carly to get supremely…

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Pour Yourself a Stiff Drink, Here’s Your Open Thread for 2016’s First GOP Debate

Gather ‘round everyone, it’s the first Republican presidential debate of 2016! Taking place in Charleston, South Carolina, this debate — the SIXTH one we’ve had to endure — will feature the lowest amount of candidates on the stage thus far. Since Carly Fiorina and Rand Paul were bumped down to the earlier undercard…

Rand Paul Boycotts Undercard Debate, Because the Media, Polls, Reality Can't Tell Him What to Do

After months of poll numbers collapsing like a once proud but increasingly weary hairdo, Rand Paul was relegated to the “undercard” GOP debate planned for Thursday night, at No One Is Paying Attention O’Clock. He is not going, because this represents the media and the RNC toying with him.

In the Spirit of Unity, Join Jezebel and Gawker for a GOP Debate Liveblog 

Once again, under the withering eternal gaze of a cruel and unmerciful God, here we are: another GOP debate. Tonight, your favorite Addams Family LARPers take the stage at The Venetian in Las Vegas at 8:30 p.m. Eastern time, where no one will say anything inflammatory about Muslims and we certainly won’t be…