Trumpy GOP Debate Pulled Record Ratings, Because America Loves Assholes

Nielsen ratings this morning suggest that a record number of people tuned in to the first GOP primary debate last night, in which frontrunner Donald Trump call Rosie O’Donnell a “fat pig” and the studio audience hooted their approval. Here it is: the reality TV spinoff/orgy of hatred/pro wrestling shitshow of a… » 8/07/15 11:52am 8/07/15 11:52am

Fox News Announces the Ten Candidates for Thursday's GOP Debate

And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and…

» 8/04/15 8:45pm 8/04/15 8:45pm

'Nothing Short of Attempted Murder': A Brief History of Anti-Vaxxers

There are virtually no photographs of twenty-first century American children covered with measles. The disease, as well as the sight of it, is something we have banished to the past: the stuff of medical archives and undeveloped foreign countries. Consequently, the photos and stock images that illustrate the news… » 2/10/15 12:30pm 2/10/15 12:30pm

Pizza Wars: Will No One Defend the Deep Dish?

This topic is not for the faint of heart. The debate to come will tear apart families and turn friends into enemies. Rivers will run red with the blood of 1,000 tomatoes. Cheese will be everywhere and dough — oh, God, so much dough. We are about to talk about pizza. Specifically (and dangerously), we are talking about » 11/14/13 3:30pm 11/14/13 3:30pm

The ABC's of the Presidential Debate: From Awkward Laughter to Binders to Zingers

Good morning, fellow binderfolk! Hope you were able to get some sleep after last night's Presidential debate, despite the fact that you know now that Mitt Romney has been personally stalking you for several years. So, let's take an alphabetical journey through what we learned. » 10/17/12 11:45am 10/17/12 11:45am

A Lady's Guide to Relaxing During Tonight's Presidential Debate

It seems like only yesterday we were eagerly anticipating getting properly smashed during the first Presidential debate. And it seems like only today that we were still freaked out by the fact that now it seems that after a single night of pretending to be manic 1994 Mitt Romney rather than awkward 2012 Mitt Romney,… » 10/16/12 7:00pm 10/16/12 7:00pm

Both Campaigns Want Tonight's Female Presidential Debate Moderator to Shut the Hell Up

DNC Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz reassured the public on Monday that she was pretty sure that during the Presidential debate on Tuesday, the candidates wouldn't forget to talk about women like they did last time. I mean, it's a town hall debate format, so audience members get to ask the questions. Surely one… » 10/16/12 11:40am 10/16/12 11:40am

10 Reasons You Should Have Watched the Vice Presidential Debate Last Night

Pundits are calling it "lively," but what last night's Vice Presidential debate really was — was hilarious. It had everything a political hatewatcher could want from a televised argument between two dudes — Joe Biden's incurable case of the giggleshouts, moderator Martha Raddatz's oh no she DIDN'T scimitar questions,… » 10/12/12 11:30am 10/12/12 11:30am

Supercut: Jim Lehrer's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Debate

The thing about being a debate moderator is that you are expected to moderate. Alas, Jim Lehrer (who, being from PBS, would likely be euthanized if Mitt Romney has his way) was not up to task. He was unable to control the candidates or the discussion; things were particularly bad when it came to Mittens, who all too… » 10/04/12 9:30am 10/04/12 9:30am

The Ultimate Presidential Debate Drinking Game for Ladies

Women! Did you know that we're allowed to vote now, without our husbands' permission? That means we should probably be paying attention to political debates, even though they sometimes make us want to gently feed ourselves to a woodchipper that's pH balanced for a man and made just for us. But fear not,… » 10/03/12 5:30pm 10/03/12 5:30pm

Anti-Woman Politician Refuses to Debate Congresswoman Because She'll Make Him Say Dumb Things

Fed up with the nonstop anti-woman crap emanating from Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman's mouth, State Rep. Kelda Helen Roys offered to debate him one on one, mano a womano, in public. Unsurprisingly, he turned her down, saying that she wanted to "to gain further platform to misrepresent the Republican position… » 4/23/12 5:30pm 4/23/12 5:30pm

Newt Gingrich Won't Attend Next Freestyle Debate Battle Unless Audience Will Cheer for Him

Magniloquent human fart Newt Gingrich has risen like hot air to the top of the polls in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination. People who get paid to talk about politics on the teevee say that this is due to his debate performances. But now, Newt says that unless the audience is allowed to cheer after… » 1/24/12 7:15pm 1/24/12 7:15pm

Professional Pearl-Clutcher Worried That Internet Will Turn Girls Into Successful Harvard Grads

What happens when you take one delusional nostalgia-peddler in a twinset, one accomplished young female journalist, and one public radio host, mix in a few splashes of princess culture, a liberal application of slut-shaming, a twist of incoherence, and a backhanded, condescending ad hominem attack? You get a matronly… » 1/19/12 12:40pm 1/19/12 12:40pm

Sarah Palin Comes Perilously Close to Endorsing Gingrich

So far Sarah Palin has yet to cast her lot behind any of the Republican primary candidates and issue an endorsement, but yesterday while appearing on Fox News she did come awfully close to giving Newt Gingrich her support. It's not because she necessarily thinks he'd make the best president—it's simply because a… » 1/18/12 10:00am 1/18/12 10:00am

The Liberal Media Conspiracy Is Repressing Michele Bachmann, Says Michele Bachmann

On Saturday, Republican Presidential hopefuls reconvened to debate foreign policy and tell America that they're the least-bad choice to lead the free world. America's Foremost Expert on Question Avoiding Michele Bachmann claims that she wasn't given enough questions during the debate, and that this was a planned… » 11/14/11 11:35am 11/14/11 11:35am

Anti-Spanking Laws Could Turn America Into Egalitarian Hellhole

Sweden became the first country to outlaw physical punishment of children in 1979. Now, the first generation of Swedish young adults to have been raised in a spanking-free society is in its thirties. Contrary to what your cantankerous, defensive grandpa might suggest, the entire country hasn't turned into a bunch of… » 11/11/11 10:30am 11/11/11 10:30am

Lowlights From The Eight Zillionth Republican Debate

Last night, Republican presidential hopefuls got the band back together again for another debate reunion tour, and like most bands whose best albums are behind them, the old familiar songs just didn't sound the same. Chords were off. Rick Perry forgot the words. Mitt Romney experienced a hair gel malfunction… » 11/10/11 11:40am 11/10/11 11:40am