In the past few years, Crocs have expanded their look, moving past the Mario Batali-approved orange monstrosity that made them famous and into high-end hideousness. But that kind of stuff didn’t seem to work very well, so now they’re dialing the ugly back, returning to their original ugly that made them famous.

Crocs, Inc., the company responsible for those ugly porous foot holders for shoe-resistant people, has been floundering lately. Things have changed a lot since 2007, when the world populace lined up to place their appendages into lightweight clogs — but now, as Crocs, Inc. wheezes helplessly, a charitable figure has…

Many of us have a signature item of clothing, like a preferred style of cardigan or beloved pair of black pumps. But rare is the level of dedication that chef and foodie personality Mario Batali shows his beloved orange Crocs.

Ugh, I kinda want a pair. Dammit.

These new running shoes from Crosskix are made with a foam composite material called ethylene vinyl acetate (EVA) — also known as what makes a Croc a Croc. They're neon yellow, look like a useless Transformer, and appear to be so fucking flimsy, they might as well be made of banana fruit roll-ups. (At least then,…

A Kuwaiti teenager is in some hot water after flying into a shoe-throwing rage and destroying a chandelier worth over $1.8 million.

• To further her plan for wold domination, Snooki — author, slipper-wearer, and cultural touchstone to millions — will soon be pimping a slew of licensed products, including jewelry (a NYE ball necklace!), clothing, and sunglasses. [NYPost]

When a 3-year-old British boy got an electric shock from a faulty hairdryer, his Crocs saved his life by stopping the electricity from passing into the ground. That's awesome... but we still won't buy a pair. [Telegraph via Newser]

• Crystal Renn is either too big or too small, say some folks who evidently take an interest in other people's weight. "She is not trying to lose weight at all," says Gary Dakin, her agent. "She fluctuates." [People]

• Sarah Burton, who has worked for Alexander McQueen since 1996, was named its new creative director. Cathy Horyn came out in support of Burton as a potential McQueen successor in March. Burton was previously head of women's wear. [WWD, Telegraph]

• Here's a bored-looking Beyoncé, in a campaign for the European fast-fashion chain C&A. [Quem]
• Liza Minnelli is getting an HSN line! She'll be selling things she has in excess, including costume jewelry, clothing, and ex-husbands. [Daily Express]

• Drew Barrymore would like to apologize to Gucci for wearing that dress to the 2006 Golden Globes. "I felt so bad. I was like, 'I'm so sorry, Gucci. I have tarnished your name.'" [ContactMusic]

• Whippersnappers from that show about the tragic lives of children with money, and that other show about the never-ending busywork of high school performing arts, are in the new campaign for the Wal-Mart brand OP. [People]

• Jourdan Dunn's boyfriend of four years — and the father of her 7-week-old son — was just sentenced to three years in prison for dealing cocaine. Weirdly, his name is Jordan. [The Sun]

• Why mess with a good thing? Longtime Calvin Klein Jeans face Eva Mendes is back, again with model Jamie Dornan, for spring. And Calvin Klein Collection has again booked 15-year-old Polish model Monika Jagaciak for its spring ads. [WWD]

Whaddaya know, but the Crocs designers seem to be fresh out of ideas to extend the shelf life of their hideous footwear, which has been rapidly fading from the national fad-consciousness since early 2008. They want your help.

• Lindsay Lohan's first collection for Ungaro has been derided by yet another industry heavyweight: Emanuel Ungaro himself. The designer, who sold the business that bears his name in 2005, says Lohan's work was "a disaster" that left him "furious." [Independent]

• Dana Thomas — author of Deluxe — wrote an excellent feature on the quagmire of the house of Versace. Thomas takes aim at Donatella and Santo Versace's resistance to change and ham-handed business decisions. It's a thrilling read. [Newsweek]

• Lindsay Lohan, finally addressing her disastrously received first Ungaro collection, says, "I am learning." But she will be back in Paris for the next show! "It's already in January. I thought it was in March." January? January means couture.