Unidentified NRA Expo Exhibitor Seeks Thin, Young Bubbly Female Greeters With 'No Odd Piercings'

It’s a sad and sour realization, to know that you’ve aged and tattooed yourself out of your dream job, but that is the sad place many of us find ourselves today: we cannot be greeters at the National Rifle Association Expo in Lousville. Even if you’re not too old or too fat, you’re probably too odd for the job. Take a…

The NYC Housing Market Is Now So Bleak That People Would Happily Live in a Bar Bathroom

We’ve all heard stories about friends of friends who have braved New York City’s steep real estate prices by living in a walk-in closet, or a 200-square-foot water tower, or a converted brick pizza oven. Last week, bartender Alana Reali came face-to-face with the depressing shit show that is the New York housing…

Congressman Creates Speaker of the House Craigslist Posting; I'll Probably Apply

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy surprise announced that he would no longer seek to be Speaker of the House, Washington D.C. was rattled by a heaving sob made up of hundreds of little GOP congressmen running into their offices, slamming the door, huddling under their desks, and just letting their emotions go.