CPAC Panelist Manages to Reserve Most of His Criticism for a Female…

In a surprise turn of blame-giving, CPAC panelist K. Carl Smith, a representative from the Frederick Douglass Republicans who unfortunately ceded the floor to an anthropomorphized pile of racist vacuum cleaner gatherings during the panel discussion, managed somehow to reserve most of his criticism for a female… » 3/17/13 5:00pm 3/17/13 5:00pm

NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre Needs to Stop Pretending He Gives a Shit About…

National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre made a speech at CPAC today in which he excoriated liberals for suggesting that arming women might not be the be-all and end-all of rape prevention. "The one thing a violent rapist deserves," LaPierre said, smirking,"is to face is a good woman with a gun!" (HUGE APPLAUSE.)… » 3/15/13 5:20pm 3/15/13 5:20pm

CPAC Releases Suggested Dress Code: Don't Get Caught in Uggs, Leggings,…

MAJOR FASHION CRISIS: this year's Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) starts tomorrow, and I still have no clue what to wear to meet my idols Donald Trump (who still hasn't responded to our Miss USA expose, btw), Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush and Sarah Palin! Whatever shall I do?! » 3/13/13 10:25am 3/13/13 10:25am

A Warning to Whorish Girls That They'll Never Find a Husband

A jiggling menace is stalking the delicate sensibilities of attendees at the Conservative Political Action Conference: women who dress like two-bit whores are skanking up the joint. And if they're not dressed like slutburgers with extra sleaze, they're buttoned up, nunnish frumps. According to one conservative and… » 2/15/12 11:40am 2/15/12 11:40am

Some Cranky Guy at CPAC Says Rachel Maddow is Best Argument in Favor of…

If you've got clinically low blood pressure, I've got great news: the CPAC, or Conservative Political Action Conference, is meeting this week in Washington, raising the city's level of curmudgeonly dickishness to unprecedented levels. At the forefront of the race toward insufferability is Cal Thomas, conservative… » 2/09/12 6:00pm 2/09/12 6:00pm

CPAC Attendees Still Insisting On Ron Paul

Attendees at the Conservative Political Action Conference have once again endorsed Texas congressman Ron Paul for President, with 30% of attendees throwing their support behind him. Mitt Romney came in second with 23% of the vote, and trailing in the single digits were Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee, neither of whom… » 2/13/11 11:10am 2/13/11 11:10am