Jezebel
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July Allure: Sexy Has Never Been So Complicated
Reading this month's Allure will only make it harder to feel confident in a bikini, unless like Fergie, you're planning on standing in front of a hip-obscuring beam of light at all times.
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By MargaretComment by tscheese: Also, has anyone ever actually tried to put a whole teaspoon of sunblock on their face? IT'S NOT AS EASY... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Very Vogue Recession: AKA, The Terrible War Against Rich White Women
How does the Conde Nast title that once featured gold-dipped fur stay current during the recession? By exposing how "the other half" lives!
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By CherylComment by JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!: I don't understand this post, and I won't respond to it. 11 Responses | Other threads
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Elle: Bored With Bad Economy, Prefers Shopping
"Shopping's Back!" according to July Elle, so now you can buy yourself a hair shirt (actually "Mongolian fur," but still perfect for doing penance) and pair it with some attractive, practical leather shorts.
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By Anna N.Comment by shewar: Oh and seriously if you're into the red lip (I am, I really am), Nars makes a matte lip pencil... 9 Responses | Other threads
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Marie Claire: Lifestyles Of The Rich & Felonious
We thought people who've been laid off or lost their homes were hit hardest by the recession, but in this month's Marie Claire we learn that when white-collar criminals ruined the economy, many wives tragically lost their country club memberships.
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Sandra Bullock, Sunglasses, & Cookies Are Naughty In July Glamour
Sandra Bullock is such a boundary-busting, unconventional lady that she made Glamour interviewer Anne Fletcher say "vagina" — and then said it herself! Other wild and crazy things it's now okay to do, after the jump.
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By Anna N.Comment by Rosaxé: I love this site, but seriously, sometimes you guys come off as the mean girls , the ones who just... 22 Responses | Other threads
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Cosmo: Answers To Unasked Questions, Meanings For Meaningless Actions
The July Cosmo: full of answers to burning questions like, "If I have many partners, will I become loose?" You know, questions that seem too random that they can't possibly be real. Oh, who cares...the joy is in the answers.
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By CherylComment by LaFemme: I heard somewhere thatthe more sex and orgasms you have, the tighter you will become. The vag is a muscle,... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Elle: The 'Body Issue' Has Major Body Issues, Scantily Clad Megan Fox
On the subscriber's cover of the June Elle, Megan Fox shows off her tattoo, which reads, "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies." And alas, this Shakespearean text is the only part of the cover that does not lie!
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By CherylComment by morninggloria: Megan Fox came out of nowhere, cut to be perfect and packaged as this uncomplicated, contrived to be shocking, overcoached,... 21 Responses | Other threads
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June Allure: Save Money With Retin-A, Perlane, Radiesse, And GABA
We know we shouldn't expect a beauty mag to advocate the "natural" look, but couldn't Allure's tips for saving money on one's skin regimen be a little less ridiculous?
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By Anna N.Comment by zahava: If you have medical insurance, it's likely that Retin-A or other prescription retinoids are covered. One tube lasts me more... 16 Responses | Other threads
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June Cosmopolitan Says Quit Your Bitching
With teen bad girl du jour Blair Waldorf on the cover, Cosmo editors set out to add a dose of high school bitchiness to the June issue. Too bad they forgot their mission after writing the cover lies.
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By MargaretComment by NefariousNewt: "Proven mind tricks?" What is this, a Jedi instruction manual, now?!? 16 Responses | Other threads
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Vogue's "Green" Issue: Fa$hion With A Con$cience
Despite its Style Ethics page and photoshoot of Cameron Diaz in organic hemps and cottons, the green this month's Vogue really cares about comes from a wallet, not a tree.
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By Anna N.Comment by morninggloria: I have this theory that the "green" movement is a way for the formerly wealthy to pass off their decreased... 19 Responses | Other threads
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Marie Claire: This June, Celebrate Halloween With A Photoshop Of Horrors
Beyoncé is featured in the June Marie Claire wearing the costumes Thierry Mugler designed for her superwoman-themed world tour. Think this disco-glam sheath on the cover is a bit much? Wait until you see what's inside.
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By CherylComment by shorty63136: It appears that the issue w/ that last pic isn't a Ps disaster. It's a reflection in the cube ring... 8 Responses | Other threads
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June Glamour: A Hot Pink Journey Into The Heart Of Darkness
Don't let serial romantic comedy star Renée Zellweger fool you. The June Glamour is a complex psychological thriller that preys upon readers' deepest fears.
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By MargaretComment by Frequentlywrong: My husband calls my Spanx (and other such undies) my Super Undies and I often do a wonder woman... 11 Responses | Other threads
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May Elle: Mildly Insulting, Full of Horrific Jeans
To celebrate Earth Days past, this month's Elle presents us with lots of new stuff we can buy to increase our carbon footprints, Drew Barrymore... oh, and lots of lies on the cover!
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By CherylComment by merv: NEED JEANS? Go to the Gap! CAN'T FIND JEANS AT THE GAP? Walk to the store next door, try on... 17 Responses | Other threads
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May Allure: Get A Greatly Distorted Body Image By Summer!
The month the editors at Allure tried to make us more beautiful, but our naturally disgusting bodies fought them every step of the way.
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By MargaretComment by Triphena: That is such an incredibly bad picture of Blake Lively. 26 Responses | Other threads
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May Vogue: Model Dramz... zzzzzz
Vogue's model issue may promise "drama," but don't be fooled — this issue is as staid as contributing writer Plum Sykes' riding habit.
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By Anna N.Comment by Lizard in the Wires, is movin' to Fresno! Any Jezzies need a roomie?: Wait? Gums like her teeth? Is she a horse that we're looking to buy or something? How many hands tall... 6 Responses | Other threads
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May Glamour: You Can't Always Judge A Mag By Its Cover
There's a lot to like about this month's Glamour, from plus-sized swimwear models, to interesting articles on interracial dating and domestic violence. However, according to the cover lines, editors would rather you don't know.
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By MargaretComment by vamusical: Products we use once then let rot in a drawer. Let's talk about that for a minute, because I share... 13 Responses | Other threads
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May Marie Claire: Starlets, Hormones, & Porn Star Preachers
The May Marie Claire is out featuring wholesome starlet, Rachel McAdams. But despite McAdams' presence, the cover still lies.
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By CherylComment by Mafalda para Presidente: Wait, how did this not make the "Photoshop of Horrors" category? I didn't recognize her. 13 Responses | Other threads
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Cosmo's "Sexy Issue" Does Helen Gurley Brown Proud
This month's Cosmo is "The Sexy Issue," meaning that after months of tough investigative reporting and cerebral cultural criticism, Cosmo is finally going to address what we truly care about: "his most dirty-licious fantasies."
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By Anna N.Comment by casi nadie (é o português de Curly Crown): Years ago, before I discovered Jezebel and Dan Savage, I read Cosmo because it talked about sex. And then I found... 21 Responses | Other threads
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Glamour's Gift To You: Pangs Of Regret And Sex-Related Injuries
April marks Glamour's 70th birthday and the mag is celebrating by regurgitating advice from previous issues that we've wisely ignored and bringing up mistakes from our misspent youth that we'd rather not dwell on.
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By MargaretComment by Khrushchev: Let's never compare reading Glamour to reading The Babysitter's Club. One is completely inane and unacceptable. The other taught me... 24 Responses | Other threads
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April Vogue Loves Your Body, Especially If It's Wrapped In Balenciaga
We already deconstructed the Vogue"Shape Issue"'s profile of "comfortably curvy" Beyoncé and her uncomfortably birdlike eating habits, but sucking comes in many shapes this April.
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By Anna N.Comment by tscheese: Here's something I never understood: Have you ever seen this trope - the "dress for your shape" article, like mentioned above?... 19 Responses | Other threads
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Marie Claire: Be A Green Recessionista With More Stuff!
The April Marie Claire is all about the most over-saturated trend in lady mags today — being an eco-friendly recessionista through the acquisition of more things. Oh, the irony.
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By CherylComment by Whiskey and Popcorn: How to make sex green. 1. Do it with a virgin. 2. Do it while jealous. 3. Do it with... 35 Responses | Other threads
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The April Elle: To Be A Genius Is To Be Privileged, Expensive
The "Genius Issue" of Elle has hit newsstands—-and no, it's not full of Mensa members in Missoni—-just strange fashion, insecurity increasing beauty and of course, cover lies!
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By CherylComment by the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene: I thought Reese was Sienna Miller. Wow. I think I've been staring at the screen too long. 25 Responses | Other threads
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Cosmo Says: Cash-Strapped Ladies, Put A Belt On It
April's Cosmo jumps (again) on the recession-era shop-your-closet bandwagon, and lands with a resounding thud.
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By Anna N.Comment by Your Screenplay Sucks: I read that article on tips on pleasing your man. No, not that one, the other one. And let me... 24 Responses | Other threads
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The March Elle: Pushing All Kinds of Crazy
From the fashion story "Born to be Wild" to Jessica Alba's assertion that she wants to be taken seriously as an actress, this month's Elle is ripe for ripping apart.
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By CherylComment by schlegs84 thinks John Galt can suck it.: Sometimes I feel like pop culture is force feeding me Jessica Alba gruel. I don't want it but they... 27 Responses | Other threads
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Pretty Woman: Allure Instructs Readers How To Act Like Adults
In the March issue of Allure Julia Roberts tells a lengthy tale about separating her eyelashes with a pin. But that's not the part that makes us want to poke our eyes out.
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By MargaretComment by BlondeGrlz: Next month's Allure: Sit up straight! Why are you spending so much money on books when you can get them from free... 36 Responses | Other threads
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Glamour's Depression Survival Tips From Grandma
While most ladymags are dealing with the bad economy by calling a $4,000 bag an "investment piece," Glamour is taking the opposite approach. The March issue is like one long guilt-inducing chat with Grandma.
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By MargaretComment by linnyt is a walking cliché: How is a purse an investment piece at all? I do not begin to understand this concept. Can someone clue... 22 Responses | Other threads
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Is Women's Health Making Unhealthy Weight Loss Claims?
The new issue of Women's Health promises to explain how to "drop two sizes in just two weeks," but in addition to that being nearly impossible, it's not what the accompanying article is about. More »
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By MargaretComment by Fermina Daza: I hate when magazines have "x amount of ways to cut 100+ calories." The advice is always weak, along the... 17 Responses | Other threads
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We're Just Not That Into This Month's Marie Claire
A few members of the cast of He's Just Not That Into You squeezed onto the March cover of Marie Claire, leaving less space for text. But smaller space doesn't necessarily mean fewer lies!
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By CherylComment by Slumdog_Mamabear: I sort of love Ginnifer Goodwin. But it could just be that I can't seperate her from her character... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Your Life Is Broken: Let Cosmo Fix It
March Cosmopolitan thinks you're unhappy. Maybe it's because you're fat, maybe your boyfriend doesn't love you, maybe your friends are boring. No matter — for every problem, Cosmo has vague, simplistic, or totally weird advice.
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