Two scientists have developed a chemical coating for fabric that causes it to clean and deodorize itself when exposed to sunlight. This means that unless the world is too polluted to occupy in the future, we'll never have to do laundry again. Now, let's all twirl around in our dream kitchens!

Hey there, moneybags! Were you standing in your bathroom this morning, staring at the priceless antique jar you fill with cotton balls, thinking to yourself, "These little wads of cotton just aren't soft enough for my fine face. If only there was something more luxurious I could invest in"? Well, it's your lucky day!…

Clothing prices have been dropping for the past decade, but it looks like the days of $9 Forever 21 tank tops and $6 bags of tube socks are coming to an end. According to the Associated Press, the cost of labor and raw materials is on the rise, and retailers and manufacturers are out of cost-cutting ideas.

Anna Wintour heard about this so-called "environmentally friendly" fashion, so she sent her crack team of stylists to go out find some of it, to put it in her magazine. Her very eco-friendly magazine. The result? $2,895 trench coats.

All my life my Grandfather has used the phrase "cotton pickin'" as a slur, as in "wait a cotton pickin' minute!" and, if he was mad at you (or the dog), "You cotton pickin'…!"

The world may never know. Nostalgia: the last refuge of a scoundrel.