Cap'n Crunch Is Staring at Your Child, Willing Him to Demand Cereal

Kids love shitty sugary cereals with strange, deranged mascots. But why? Lucky Charms taste freeze-dried, for God's sake. Well, it turns out those brightly colored boxes are perfectly designed so terrifying cartoons can stare straight into children's eyes, mesmerizing them into demanding Count Chocula. »4/04/14 12:40pm4/04/14 12:40pm


Diabolical Diet Tool Fills You With Guilt Instead of Food

We are told that we must monitor exactly how much we eat because we don't want to mess up our meticulously charted calorie intake by indulging in even one too many crackers because then our thighs will explode and our life will be over—or something like that. Anyway, ever on the hunt for ways to make us feel like shit… »6/05/12 10:25am6/05/12 10:25am

Sorry, Poor People: Going to College Might Ruin Your Chance to Get Married

According to personal finance experts and many colorful charts, attending college can significantly increase one's lifetime earning potential. Unfortunately, if you're poor and get yourself a fancy degree, you'll be too highfalutin for your poor peers and smell too much of the servant caste to be accepted by your… »1/31/12 12:00pm1/31/12 12:00pm