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Cap'n Crunch Is Staring at Your Child, Willing Him to Demand Cereal

Kids love shitty sugary cereals with strange, deranged mascots. But why? Lucky Charms taste freeze-dried, for God's sake. Well, it turns out those brightly colored boxes are perfectly designed so terrifying cartoons can stare straight into children's eyes, mesmerizing them into demanding Count Chocula. » 4/04/14 12:40pm 4/04/14 12:40pm

Study Makes a Case For 'National Befriend a Slut Day'

Those darn slutty, slutty sluts, all going around and having sex with other human people when they want to and other WACK shit like that, are not too busy being sluts to have female friends, but we don't want them because we're all Patty Simcox, according to a graduate study from the Cornell College of Human Ecology. » 6/01/13 2:00pm 6/01/13 2:00pm

Diabolical Diet Tool Fills You With Guilt Instead of Food

We are told that we must monitor exactly how much we eat because we don't want to mess up our meticulously charted calorie intake by indulging in even one too many crackers because then our thighs will explode and our life will be over—or something like that. Anyway, ever on the hunt for ways to make us feel like shit… » 6/05/12 10:25am 6/05/12 10:25am

Sorry, Poor People: Going to College Might Ruin Your Chance to Get…

According to personal finance experts and many colorful charts, attending college can significantly increase one's lifetime earning potential. Unfortunately, if you're poor and get yourself a fancy degree, you'll be too highfalutin for your poor peers and smell too much of the servant caste to be accepted by your… » 1/31/12 12:00pm 1/31/12 12:00pm

Go Ahead and Live in Sin! Science Says It's Okay

There are plenty of nice reasons to get married, but increasingly the basic experience of being married doesn't seem all that different from simply living together without ever making it legal—or living in sin, as our grandmothers like to call it. Now there's some new research that proves that the line between… » 1/19/12 11:00am 1/19/12 11:00am

Welcome To The Future: Printable Food

Ever have one of those moments where you're too lazy to move and said to yourself, I really wish food would magically appear right now? Perhaps a "high idea" (or highdea) in which you thought your printer should be able to print food? Well, that is now a reality. And honestly, we think weed had something to do with… » 9/14/11 5:55pm 9/14/11 5:55pm