Kids love shitty sugary cereals with strange, deranged mascots. But why? Lucky Charms taste freeze-dried, for God's sake. Well, it turns out those brightly colored boxes are perfectly designed so terrifying cartoons can stare straight into children's eyes, mesmerizing them into demanding Count Chocula.

Those darn slutty, slutty sluts, all going around and having sex with other human people when they want to and other WACK shit like that, are not too busy being sluts to have female friends, but we don't want them because we're all Patty Simcox, according to a graduate study from the Cornell College of Human Ecology.

We are told that we must monitor exactly how much we eat because we don't want to mess up our meticulously charted calorie intake by indulging in even one too many crackers because then our thighs will explode and our life will be over—or something like that. Anyway, ever on the hunt for ways to make us feel like shit…

According to personal finance experts and many colorful charts, attending college can significantly increase one's lifetime earning potential. Unfortunately, if you're poor and get yourself a fancy degree, you'll be too highfalutin for your poor peers and smell too much of the servant caste to be accepted by your…

First we found out that we should be eating everything in extremely small bowls and teeny tiny plates in order to trick our brains into eating smaller portions. Now it turns out the color of the dishes we eat off of might also be causing us to overeat.

There are plenty of nice reasons to get married, but increasingly the basic experience of being married doesn't seem all that different from simply living together without ever making it legal—or living in sin, as our grandmothers like to call it. Now there's some new research that proves that the line between…

Ever have one of those moments where you're too lazy to move and said to yourself, I really wish food would magically appear right now? Perhaps a "high idea" (or highdea) in which you thought your printer should be able to print food? Well, that is now a reality. And honestly, we think weed had something to do with…

This image is making the rounds on the Internet. At left is a Sophomore pledge to Cornell's Sigma Phi fraternity; at right, a Senior brother. And apparently what we're looking at is some part of the classy hazing process.

Alice Dreger and Ellen K. Feder from Bioethics Forum have unearthed a 2007 study in which a doctor from Cornell University defends the practice of surgically cutting girls' clitorises. Disturbing, but his follow-up treatment is even worse.

[Jacksonville, Florida; March 21. Image via Getty]

IvyGate obtained a Pi Phi fashion guide for rushees, and it's hilarious. Read on for Valerie Plame and Jennifer Garner's sorority's official policy on jeggings, muffin top, camel toe, and when and when not to wear "hooker heels."