The Dark And Tragic History of Mother's Day

This year marks 100 years since President Woodrow Wilson officially deemed the second Sunday of May to be Mother's Day. And even though Mother's Day is a great occasion (official reminder) to celebrate our moms and the idea of motherhood, the history of the holiday is incredibly sad—an example of standard… » 5/11/14 1:30pm 5/11/14 1:30pm

Relentless Holiday Consumerism Slowly Turns People into Mannequins

LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 28: A man shouts through a mega phone to entice people into a store on Regent Street on December 28, 2013 in London, England. Shoppers across the country are re-emerging to take advantage of the post Christmas sales which had been hit by the recent bad weather, with many shoppers turning to… » 12/28/13 3:00pm 12/28/13 3:00pm

History of Mannequins Tracks the Aesthetic Tyranny of Consumerism

Are mannequins just garment enhancers that let prospective consumers visualize what an outfit looks like on a human body, or are they creepy holdovers from the Egyptian aesthetes that first help shape the Western gaze? Both, of course — according to a recent overview of mannequin history in Collectors Weekly, the… » 12/08/13 2:00pm 12/08/13 2:00pm

Average Lady's Handbag Contains $2K Worth Of Crap, Says Dubious Survey

A British luxury retailer has surveyed its female customers and found that every day, women tote around almost $2,000 worth of junk on their arms. Yep — those big ass purses combined with all of the lady flotsam contained therein are worth more than most people's monthly rent. I guess I'm doing a shitty job at being… » 10/31/13 4:30pm 10/31/13 4:30pm

Lauryn Hill Leaves Prison and Releases a New Track

Lauryn Hill spent her three months in prison for tax evasion and will be released today, which makes this the perfect time for her to present the world with a new single entitled "Consumerism" off an album that appears to be named Part 1: Letters from Exile. » 10/04/13 10:50am 10/04/13 10:50am

What the Recession Has Wrought: A Tampon-Less Middle Class

The rapidly unravelling American middle class has been super hard on big corporations. Who is going to buy their middle-of-the-road household products now that Americans are either mega wealthy or living in penury [in a van] [down by the river]? Nobody, that’s who, which means that corporations need to come up with… » 9/22/13 2:00pm 9/22/13 2:00pm

All the Single Ladies Are Buying Their Own Homes

While the media might lead you to believe that single ladies spend their time knitting scarves for their imaginary children, we're actually much too busy snatching (GET IT) up a huge slice of the American Dream to waste our time with all that*. According to the National Association of Realtors, since the mid-1990s,… » 7/09/13 10:00am 7/09/13 10:00am

Nordstrom Crosses the Pinterest Rubicon, Starts Pinning Stuff IRL

Looking to be known as something other than the store where you can return the crumpled, stained BCBG bridesmaid dress you wore ten years ago for a full refund, Nordstrom has launched a program where it attaches the Pinterest logo to the store's most pinned items. That's right: if it's being pinned on the addictive… » 6/27/13 9:30am 6/27/13 9:30am

Guess Which Disney Princess This Is

The correct answer is: It's Brave's Merida. The more correct answer: It could be any of the white ones (so... almost all of them?) with a wavy — it's not even curly! Jesus! — red wig on. Ugh! » 5/19/13 9:30pm 5/19/13 9:30pm

Solar Powered Cat Toys Are Cat Nip to Crazy Cat Ladies

Has more than one person gifted you this toy? Then you probably need this solar powered toy. Also, you are the best kind of person; never stop doing you. (Well, until your cats eventually eat you.) » 5/19/13 8:30pm 5/19/13 8:30pm

Here Are Some Closets That Are Bigger Than Your Apartment

If you're feeling too good about yourself this morning, please take a break from all that unnecessary happiness to feast your eyes on closets that are worth more than you are. Of course, you have to move to Los Angeles and sell your soul to get one of these doors to Narnia, but it's clearly worth it. » 2/12/13 9:30am 2/12/13 9:30am

Finally: Dolce & Gabbana Releases Baby Perfume for Your Putrid Infant

How have we, as a people, dealt with the foul aroma of a freshly bathed baby for so long? One intrepid perfumer dares to go where no person has gone before, and finally puts an end the malodorous stench of a newborn. » 2/04/13 9:30pm 2/04/13 9:30pm

Lisa Frank Enjoys a Rainbow-Colored Resurrection at Urban Outfitters…

If you were a girl in the 80s or 90s, odds are you carried some fresh-ass Lisa Frank insanity with pride. Whether it was a unicorn shitting sparkles on your binder or a cracked-out koala bear clinging to a rainbow tree for dear life on your jumbo pencil, this magical shit grabbed our imaginations and our parents'… » 10/23/12 11:25pm 10/23/12 11:25pm

Disney Will Be Taking Your Babies Now, Thank You

The Walt Disney Company, those white-glove-wearing cartoon animals who want to brand everything you touch or consume, is making a distinct push to become America's premiere baby outfitter, moving their brand's first impression on humans closer and closer to the moment of conception. Soon, we'll all be artificially… » 1/17/12 3:00pm 1/17/12 3:00pm

Worth It: Not Buying Crap

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our… » 12/23/11 2:10pm 12/23/11 2:10pm

Rebecca Black's 'Friday' Used To Annoy Shoppers Into Spending Money At…

Just when you thought you'd finally exorcised Rebecca Black's musical aneurysm "Friday" from your ears, the most obnoxious store in the mall has decided to employ the most annoying song in history in trying to convince you to go shopping on the most stressful day of the year. Get it? Rebecca Black Friday. I'll take… » 11/21/11 1:25pm 11/21/11 1:25pm

Target Employees Would Like To Occupy Own Homes This Thanksgiving

Retailers have already pissed shoppers off by beginning their Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving. Now, workers upset that their holidays will be interrupted by the call of the almighty dollar are making a stink. » 11/14/11 5:30pm 11/14/11 5:30pm

We've Seen The Future Of Online Shopping, And It's Weird

Do you remember when online shopping first appeared and every company seemed to stress the wonderful opportunity of "shopping at home in your underwear"? If the company behind 3Live Shop has their way, you may want to think about covering up your nether-regions before logging on to make your next purchase. » 4/06/11 3:45pm 4/06/11 3:45pm

Forever Shopping

New York, December 26: Shoppers walk past a Forever 21 store in Times Square. I feel immense amounts of pity for people who have to work in retail today. Image via AP » 12/26/10 5:40pm 12/26/10 5:40pm