Water On Mars? More Like Sneaky 'Leftist Agenda,' Argues Rush Limbaugh

You may have heard the news today that NASA discovered flowing water on the surface of Mars. Fascinating discovery, right? Not according to conservative talk show host and delusional pork dumpling Rush Limbaugh. As far as he’s concerned, this announcement is but a mere portion of the larger “leftist agenda.” »9/28/15 9:15pm9/28/15 9:15pm

Fox News: Conspiracy Theories on Megyn Kelly's Vacation 'Rank...With Elvis Being Alive'

Megyn Kelly—host of Fox News’ The Kelly File and recently appointed nemesis of Donald Trumpannounced last week that she was taking a much-needed vacation. “Well, it’s been an interesting week—and a long six months without a vacation for yours truly,” Kelly told viewers on Wednesday. “So I’ll be taking the next week… »8/15/15 12:45pm8/15/15 12:45pm

Megyn Kelly Is Taking a Sudden Vacation and Everyone Wants to Know Why

Megyn Kelly—host of Fox News’ The Kelly File and Black Santa truther—has announced that she’s taking an abrupt two week vacation after sparring with Cheeto-dusted bloviator Donald Trump during (and in the aftermath of) the Republican presidential debate. Is Kelly just taking a much needed break (probably to deal—as we… »8/14/15 12:55pm8/14/15 12:55pm

Man Arrested for Imitating Ghost in Massive Ghost Cover-Up

A man in Portsmouth, England was arrested for allegedly pretending to be a ghost in a cemetery as people nearby attempted to mourn a loved-one. 24-year-old Anthony Stallard was taken into custody and fined £35 for the imitation, leading one to wonder what exactly UK law officials are trying to cover up here... »8/07/14 3:20pm8/07/14 3:20pm

SHOEGAZI: Truthers Think Hillary Planned the Shoe-Throwing Incident

Last Thursday, a Hillary Clinton speech was interrupted by an airborne shoe hoisted by a Alison Michelle Ernst, a woman with a documented history of erratic behavior. Seems like a pretty open-and-shut case: unstable person behaves anti-socially. The end. But because Hillary Clinton is involved, and in the eyes of… »4/15/14 12:00pm4/15/14 12:00pm

Almost Half of Americans Believe in Medical Conspiracy Theories

You know those "articles" that your barista and your old coworker's boyfriend and your weird Kansas cousin are always posting all over their Facebook feeds, revealing shocking and outlandish "secrets" that such-and-such establishment doesn't want you to know about? And they're always from "news" websites you've never… »3/20/14 6:30pm3/20/14 6:30pm

Someone Finally Uncovered the Boy Meets World/Illuminati Conspiracy

      Did you used to watch Boy Meets World? I know I did, but what I didn't know was that along with the helpful life lessons of Mr. Feeny, we viewers were also all learning about the secret world of the Illuminati. Well, maybe not so much "learning about" as much as "being indoctrinated into," but still, Boy Meets World »1/15/14 7:00pm1/15/14 7:00pm

      Some Jerks Think Diana Nyad Faked Her Amazing Cuba-To-Florida Swim

      Before the salt water had even evaporated from superhuman Diana Nyad's magical swim cap, other people in the long distance swimming community were all lined up with their suspiciously sour grapes-y doubts that maybe the 64-year-old had somehow faked part of her inspiring swim from Cuba to Florida. And they've got… »9/09/13 6:20pm9/09/13 6:20pm

      The Best ‘Zimmerman Car Rescue Was Totally Staged’ Conspiracy Theories

      Someone send this guy a cape. Since George Zimmerman, who killed — BUT DID NOT MURDER — Trayvon Martin "rescued" a "family" of "four" from a "car" "wreck" earlier this week, conspiracy theories have abounded about the circumstances to Zimmerman just HAPPENING to be right near a place where a car overturned in time to… »7/25/13 2:00pm7/25/13 2:00pm

      Lena Dunham's Pro-Obama Ad Brought to You by Russia & Satan, Says Minnesota Republican

      Lena Dunham's pro-doin' it with Obama (voting that is!) ad has made me fall a little bit in love with her and conservatives shoot a little bit of irate steam out of their ears. But no GOP'er freaked out more hilariously than Minnesota Republican party deputy chair Kelly Fenton, who reminded us today that Dunham's ad… »10/27/12 3:00pm10/27/12 3:00pm

      Michele Bachmann Really Wants to Become Our Generation’s Joseph McCarthy

      Michele Bachmann's been a busy bee this summer, what with writing a 16-page letter detailing her two-part paranoid fantasy that the Muslim Brotherhood has penetrated the highest offices of the U.S. government and that she, after a failed primary bid for the presidency, is still a relevant figure in the national… »7/17/12 9:30am7/17/12 9:30am

      Hillary Clinton is a Member of a 'Secret Muslim Sisterhood,' Says Rush Limbaugh's Crazy Ass

      Behind Rush Limbaugh's reddened face, his brain muscles are flexing, throbbing, pulsing, his cranial peristalsis ever-pushing forth a stream of thoughts designed to bring a certain segment of the American population closer to the version of truth that will most perfectly complement their middle aged white guy… »6/27/12 3:40pm6/27/12 3:40pm