Big Sean DENIES Dating a Little Tiny Baby

DISPATCH from the UNDISCLOSED LOCATION where I've been living since dropping the TRUTH BOMB that ARIANA GRANDE IS ACTUALLY A BABY. Big Sean, the baby's BOYFRIEND, denies that she is a BABY who gets CARRIED EVERYWHERE. Once AGAIN, only WE can be TRUSTED to bring you the TRUTH. » 12/17/14 6:00pm 12/17/14 6:00pm

Utterly Moronic Birther Theory Alleges Michelle Obama Was Born a Man

Today, in inane conspiracy theories that are the literal worst, some people with too much time on their hands and one helluva confirmation bias have "discovered" that Sasha and Malia Obama were actually adopted and that the FLOTUS was born Michael LaVaughn Robinson. I hate everything. » 10/01/14 3:50pm 10/01/14 3:50pm

Man Arrested for Imitating Ghost in Massive Ghost Cover-Up

A man in Portsmouth, England was arrested for allegedly pretending to be a ghost in a cemetery as people nearby attempted to mourn a loved-one. 24-year-old Anthony Stallard was taken into custody and fined £35 for the imitation, leading one to wonder what exactly UK law officials are trying to cover up here... » 8/07/14 3:20pm 8/07/14 3:20pm

Kurt Cobain Called Courtney Love a 'Bitch With Zits'

Today, Seattle police released images of a note that Kurt Cobain kept in his wallet wherein the Nirvana frontman called wife Courtney Love a "bitch with zits" who was "siphoning" money for "doping and whoring." » 4/30/14 2:20pm 4/30/14 2:20pm

SHOEGAZI: Truthers Think Hillary Planned the Shoe-Throwing Incident

Last Thursday, a Hillary Clinton speech was interrupted by an airborne shoe hoisted by a Alison Michelle Ernst, a woman with a documented history of erratic behavior. Seems like a pretty open-and-shut case: unstable person behaves anti-socially. The end. But because Hillary Clinton is involved, and in the eyes of… » 4/15/14 12:00pm 4/15/14 12:00pm

​The Golden Age of Goop Conspiracy Theories Is Upon Us

Did you know that Gwyneth Paltrow is actually the one personally feeding the gossip machine rumors of Chris Martin's infidelity? Or that Paltrow and an intimate group of lifestyle elite are actually plotting the downfall of all media publications? Or that High Priestess Gwyneth Paltrow's ascension into Consciously… » 4/09/14 4:00pm 4/09/14 4:00pm

Almost Half of Americans Believe in Medical Conspiracy Theories

You know those "articles" that your barista and your old coworker's boyfriend and your weird Kansas cousin are always posting all over their Facebook feeds, revealing shocking and outlandish "secrets" that such-and-such establishment doesn't want you to know about? And they're always from "news" websites you've never… » 3/20/14 6:30pm 3/20/14 6:30pm

Someone Finally Uncovered the Boy Meets World/Illuminati Conspiracy

      Did you used to watch Boy Meets World? I know I did, but what I didn't know was that along with the helpful life lessons of Mr. Feeny, we viewers were also all learning about the secret world of the Illuminati. Well, maybe not so much "learning about" as much as "being indoctrinated into," but still, Boy Meets World » 1/15/14 7:00pm 1/15/14 7:00pm

      Some Jerks Think Diana Nyad Faked Her Amazing Cuba-To-Florida Swim

      Before the salt water had even evaporated from superhuman Diana Nyad's magical swim cap, other people in the long distance swimming community were all lined up with their suspiciously sour grapes-y doubts that maybe the 64-year-old had somehow faked part of her inspiring swim from Cuba to Florida. And they've got… » 9/09/13 6:20pm 9/09/13 6:20pm

      The Best ‘Zimmerman Car Rescue Was Totally Staged’ Conspiracy Theories

      Someone send this guy a cape. Since George Zimmerman, who killed — BUT DID NOT MURDER — Trayvon Martin "rescued" a "family" of "four" from a "car" "wreck" earlier this week, conspiracy theories have abounded about the circumstances to Zimmerman just HAPPENING to be right near a place where a car overturned in time to… » 7/25/13 2:00pm 7/25/13 2:00pm

      Lena Dunham's Pro-Obama Ad Brought to You by Russia & Satan, Says…

      Lena Dunham's pro-doin' it with Obama (voting that is!) ad has made me fall a little bit in love with her and conservatives shoot a little bit of irate steam out of their ears. But no GOP'er freaked out more hilariously than Minnesota Republican party deputy chair Kelly Fenton, who reminded us today that Dunham's ad… » 10/27/12 3:00pm 10/27/12 3:00pm

      Michele Bachmann Really Wants to Become Our Generation’s Joseph McCarthy

      Michele Bachmann's been a busy bee this summer, what with writing a 16-page letter detailing her two-part paranoid fantasy that the Muslim Brotherhood has penetrated the highest offices of the U.S. government and that she, after a failed primary bid for the presidency, is still a relevant figure in the national… » 7/17/12 9:30am 7/17/12 9:30am

      Hillary Clinton is a Member of a 'Secret Muslim Sisterhood,' Says Rush…

      Behind Rush Limbaugh's reddened face, his brain muscles are flexing, throbbing, pulsing, his cranial peristalsis ever-pushing forth a stream of thoughts designed to bring a certain segment of the American population closer to the version of truth that will most perfectly complement their middle aged white guy… » 6/27/12 3:40pm 6/27/12 3:40pm

      Batshit Birther Orly Taitz's Run for Senate Fails Spectacularly

      Remember Orly Taitz? She's awesomely terrible for a number of reasons. First, her names ORLY, like the thing the incredulous owl on the internets say whilst tilting their heads adorably sideways. Second, she's a birther. The queen birther, maybe, who is famous only for her incredible ability to insist that Barack… » 6/06/12 10:50am 6/06/12 10:50am

      Hugo Chavez Subtly Suggests That The U.S. Government Is Shooting World…

      After Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, the president of Argentina, was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's disturbingly kooky president, has begun insinuating that perhaps the United States is running around secretly infecting his region's leaders with the disease. His proof? Five Latin… » 12/28/11 5:45pm 12/28/11 5:45pm