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Nine Far Right Dipshits Could Stop Paul Ryan From Being Elected House Speaker

In 1982, Van Halen created one of the greatest rock trivia facts of all time when they demanded in their tour rider that all brown M&M’s be removed from their dressing room munchies as a precondition for performing. Thirty-three years later, Wisconsin Rep Paul Ryan created a similarly ornate rider as a prerequisite…

Aide to Michigan Congressman Arrested for Beating Boyfriend With a Shovel

The “online communications director” for Michigan Democratic Congressman Sander M. Levin was arrested last week and charged with a brutal assault on his boyfriend, Roll Call reports. A police report obtained by the publication states that Timothy Foster, 32, beat and tried to stab the man, until Foster’s wife…

Congressman Creates Speaker of the House Craigslist Posting; I'll Probably Apply

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy surprise announced that he would no longer seek to be Speaker of the House, Washington D.C. was rattled by a heaving sob made up of hundreds of little GOP congressmen running into their offices, slamming the door, huddling under their desks, and just letting their emotions go.

For Your Consideration: The Next Speaker of the House of Representatives Should Be a Tiny Baby

With California Rep. Kevin McCarthy’s fart noise-length campaign for Speaker of the House coming to an end today amid wild rumors and speculation of “misdeeds,” many Hill watchers are wondering who could possibly take his place as frontrunner. Please allow me to suggest: a baby.

Congressman Accused of Paying Staffer For Months After He Was Dismissed for Sexual Harassment 

North Carolina Republican Congressman Mark Meadows, currently one of the people leading the charge to defund Planned Parenthood, is accused of paying his chief of staff for months after multiple women complained they were being sexually harassed by the man. The chief, Kenny West, was first banned from the…

The House Has Voted to Defund Planned Parenthood, Could Lead to a Government Shutdown

In a vote of 241-187, the House of Representatives has voted to halt funding to Planned Parenthood for a full year in order to investigate supposed “wrong-doing” and “harvesting” of fetal organs by the women’s healthcare provider. 239 Republicans and two democrats voted in favor of defunding, while three Republicans…