Poo-Pourri Uses a Fancy Lady’s ‘Creamy’ Turds to Sell Poop Deodorant

Look, any ad willing to describe a bowel movement in terms of birthing “a creamy behemoth” from “cavernous bowels” has a good head on its shoulders. That said, Poo-Pourri’s latest exploits a familiar meme, that of the fancy shitting lady. Get it?? Because ladies, especially fancy ones, don’t poop, and if they do… »9/15/13 3:00pm9/15/13 3:00pm

New Condom Ad Warns Would-Be Dads About Nut-Punching Toddlers

Adweek has (rightly) praised this spec ad written for Durex, a cautionary, slow-mo montage of fathers having their testicles smashed by careless toddlers set to the Moonlight Sonata. All of this nut violence could have been avoided if these dudes just practiced safe sex and avoided procreation. Humanity has had a… »8/04/13 12:00pm8/04/13 12:00pm

This Creepy Doll’s Maniacal Laughter Will Echo in Your Nightmares

What you’re about to witness is basically the creepiest doll advertisement you’ll ever see, since it’s more, as Buzzfeed’s Leonora Epstein so astutely pointed out, a trailer for “the world’s scariest movie” than an effective doll marketing technique. The only “people” who would buy Baby Laugh-a-Lot after watching… »7/13/13 1:30pm7/13/13 1:30pm

Hotel Ad Promises Guests Piles of Snuggling Bunnies in Every Room

This is a commercial for...a hotel? I think? Bah, who even cares? Look at all the bunnies cuddling and sniffing the air warily, as if some voracious predator is going to leap out from under the covers and throttle them all to death. Stupid, adorable bunnies! Adweek speculates that the commercial maestros behind… »6/06/13 8:35pm6/06/13 8:35pm

Finally, You Guys: A Friendly Plus-Size Store for Men

If there’s one thing the American male does not have enough of, it’s places to watch sporting matches and gossip over the latest stock market news. The full dude experience reaches far, sure, but it doesn’t reach far enough, which is why a new plus-size retailer is hoping to change the game for men who’ve been… »5/06/13 11:10am5/06/13 11:10am

Let George 'Fix Your Transmission' as He Serenades You with Pure Creepiness

There’s not really much to say that George from Arlen’s Transmissions doesn’t sing in this remarkably creepy local commercial. If you have a shifting problem (wink, wink, say no more!), then you ought to pay George a visit because he’s basically the Cesar Millan of transmissions. Unless you’re a dude — George… »4/30/13 11:20pm4/30/13 11:20pm

Refreshing Tide Commercial Manages Not to Rely on Goon-Dad Caricature for a Change

Ah, the American father — that beer-guzzling, football-watching, hamburger-grilling lump of a human who so often prostrates himself on the family couch before his stupefied children like a sedated gorilla has been soundly mocked as a hapless oaf since, well, General Yepanchin in The Idiot. Then, of course, there's … »3/15/13 4:20pm3/15/13 4:20pm

Tecate Warns Men Not to Upset Their Tear-Fountain Girlfriends By Calling Them Fat

The beer goblins who make Tecate really want their male customers to enjoy room-temperature beer without being bothered by crying girlfriends. I mean, what's with the deal with women crying all the time? It's like [observational humor]. And woe to the well-meaning gentlemen who tells his alarmingly thin girlfriend… »9/09/12 8:45pm9/09/12 8:45pm

The Media Is Enabling Charlie Sheen Because Only Maniacs Can Sell Fiats

Charlie Sheen came back from the brink of crazy and is now comfortably languishing in the meadow of crazy, where TV producers, satellite providers, and Italian loafer-sized cars lavish him with generous contracts and feed him very expensive grapes. How is it possible that such a seemingly irrelevant and unhinged… »7/24/12 9:30am7/24/12 9:30am

Walking In On Your Mom 'Bating to 50 Shades of Grey Will Ruin Mother’s Day

Consider SNL's parodic Amazon commercial a cautionary tale about bringing your mom breakfast in bed next Sunday — don't invade her private boudoir of onanism just to give her a platter of burned toast and orange juice from concentrate, because the half-hearted gesture won't erase a year's worth of filial apathy and… »5/06/12 1:30pm5/06/12 1:30pm

Beware the Danger of the Super Bowl Bladder Infection

There's so much excitement during the Super Bowl that it can be easy to get caught up in all the hoopla and... forget to attend to basic bodily functions? Most people are usually more concerned with consuming as many nachos as possible than they are about whether they're breathing or have to go potty, but according… »1/31/12 9:05pm1/31/12 9:05pm