Trolls rejoice. You're about to be on television. E! is currently developing a show about Internet commenters that's cleverly titled Comments Section, which means a producer is combing through Jezebel right now. Ahhh! Are you camera ready?

Fact: West Side Story is the best movie and it's definitely streaming right now on Amazon. I'm not going to tell you how to enjoy your evening, but I think it's pretty obvious that you have to watch West Side Story, or at least stage it with two small bands of animals that share a strong and historic antipathy —…

The Catholic Church may have introduced a lot of not-so-awesome traditions, but give credit where credit is (partially) due: Carnival season is the best time of year. If you don't live in a place that will take part in the pre-Lenten debauchery, sucks for you. If you do live in such a place, congratulations and enjoy…

Tom Hiddleston is celebrating his birthday today with a plate of birthday cookies that he really isn't obligated to share but that he will share just because he's a swell guy like that.

Philip Seymour Hoffman thanking his mom at the 78th Academy Awards was incredibly endearing. You'll notice that this clip, however, features another actor who died way before his time: Heath Ledger, who would've probably won the Oscar if Hoffman wasn't so amazing as Truman Capote.

Today, Ellen DeGeneres turns 56. Shower her with birthday gifts, and contemplate how much hairstyles have changed in the past 28 years.

Jealous much? Don't worry — Burt will be finished sneakin' around with Dolly Parton in plenty of time to provide you with your evening's worth of internet giggles.

Lady Edith moves to 1920s Berlin, becomes a bon vivant artist, attending various orgies and drinking parties with Michael Gregson while working on a literary masterwork that starts out an innocuous chronicle of the Berlin social scene and transforms into a terrifying tale about the rise of fascism in Germany. Tell me…

And yet, she will host Saturday Night Live on Feb. 1, less than 24 hours before Super Bowl XLVIII. Since the Super Bowl will be on CBS, SNL and the Super Bowl really don't have a whole lot to do with each other, but it's still nice to know that there are people out there willing to openly defy the evil NFL Empire by…

Sure, we could spend the whole new season fretting over Downton's precarious finances, OR the writers could have devised a whole new story arc: the luddite Mrs. Patmore learns that the machines are plotting to take over Downton and must set about destroying all telephones and electric mixers even as the people around…

Maybe 2013 was a good year for you, in which case you might be sad to see it go. That's fine — Britta has offered her (un)licensed services as a psychologist (student) to help you cope with your grief.

I'm not saying Patricia Clarkson should have won an Academy Award for Easy A, but it is one of the great travesties of the 21st century that she didn't. Clarkson turns 54 today, and will be celebrating with Stanley Tucci, three blowtorches, a Carvel Cookie Puss, and a handle of gin in my imagination.

According to a hilarious blind item on Radar yesterday, Jay Z and Beyoncé recently visited the New York sex shop Babeland so they could spend $6,000 on sex toys, which should make us all wonder: Did they buy a few really fancy sex toys, or did they buy a whole bunch of cheap sex toys to give away as ironic gifts? How…

It's easy to get sucked into a vortex of self pity around the holidays, but thanks to the internet, you can rest assured that someone else is having a far more depraved and horrifying holiday season than you. Take, for instance, this gentleman, one of the best (or worst) "Dear Prudence" letters of 2013:

Peter O'Toole appeared on Letterman not too long ago and told this story about how he figured out what to put on his tombstone from a little note he once received from the dry cleaners. The note was tacked to a gross jacket that just couldn't be cleaned thoroughly, and it read (apparently), "It distresses us to…

On this day in 1660, a woman (either Margaret Hughes or Anne Marshall) appears on the English public stage for the very first time EVER. Hughes/Marshall played Desdemona in a production of Othello, which, judging from Claire Danes's cryface in Stage Beauty, was pretty compelling.

Today is the birthday of Anna Komnene (Comnena, for all you Latinized barbarians), the brilliant daughter of Emperor Alexios I Komnenos of Byzantium, who set the unfortunate precedent of letting the Franks crash in Constantinople on their way to the Holy Land during the First Crusade. Born in 1083, Anna lived for a…