Dude, You Might Be Able to Get a Degree in Coffee

Get your snide remarks ready because UC Davis is mulling over a new major focusing on … coffee. Yes, coffee, the stuff that drives humans to doom and mania if they don’t get their fix first thing in the morning or that crucial hour in the afternoon. As alma maters go, I’m glad mine is front and center on this,… » 3/14/14 6:30pm 3/14/14 6:30pm

Washington's Weird Bikini Barista Culture

This past December I was sitting in a Manhattan restaurant with the rest of the Jezebel ladies for our annual staff dinner. I made an offhand comment about an acquaintance who'd once worked as a bikini barista. I might as well have said she'd once worked as a frog. "What's a 'bikini barista'?" said everyone, staring… » 2/05/14 3:01pm 2/05/14 3:01pm

You'd Rather Have Coffee Than Morning Sex

Coffee or morning sex? Because we live in modern times and have both Starbucks and Craigslist Casual Encounters, most people with internet access and a mode of transportation don't have to choose. And thank god! Because a new study indicates that if we did have to, we'd choose coffee, which would definitely result in… » 10/07/13 11:10am 10/07/13 11:10am

Coffee Milkshakes Are Turning Us All into Jittery Rhino-People

Sunday is National Coffee Day, a holiday NBC News would like to observe by telling us all that coffee drinks — our lattes and frappucinos and frothing, caramel-drizzled macchiatos — are slowly turning us into race of jittery behemoths. We will stomp around the world frantically until our hearts explode in our chests… » 9/28/13 5:45pm 9/28/13 5:45pm

All the Characters on Friends Were Suicidal Caffeine Junkies, FYI

It may seem pointless to discuss the coffee-drinking habits of television characters that faded away in 2004, but the Internet is a repository of pointless stuff, and, anyway, you’ve probably always wanted to know if Chandler’s caffeine consumption was physically dangerous. Didn’t it seem like everyone on Friends » 4/29/13 10:30pm 4/29/13 10:30pm

Couple Is Addicted to Coffee Enemas, Pooping Their Brains Out

My Strange Addiction, the show that documents the human experience — if by "human" you mean "freaks" and by "experience" you mean "eating inedible shit like couch cushions and gasoline"— returns to TLC on February 13th with a new season. In the first episode we meet a married couple who are addicted to coffee enemas.… » 2/05/13 4:30pm 2/05/13 4:30pm

Tennis Ref Accused Of Killing Husband With A Coffee Mug Did Not Kill…

This summer we told you the odd tale of Lois Goodman, a 70-year old tennis official that had been on her way to officiate a day of matches at the U.S. Open when police re-routed her to jail, arrested on suspicion of bludgeoning her husband to death with a coffee mug. Today, Goodman is a free woman, and has been… » 12/23/12 4:20pm 12/23/12 4:20pm

Someone From Portland Wants to Sell You Shit (From Their Butt), and…

Searching for the perfect gift for that coffee snob in your life? Well, look no further, because you can now buy human shit coffee beans! Previously, if you wanted to buy shit beans, you could only get them from civets and elephants, but fuck that! Now you can buy one-hundred-percent Grade A (?) human feces beans.… » 12/12/12 11:30am 12/12/12 11:30am

Coffee from the Pacific Northwest Is Better than All Other Coffee

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation… » 6/08/12 7:15pm 6/08/12 7:15pm

Your Coffee Machine Could Attack You at Any Moment

Your coffee maker is supposed to be an object of salvation, a safe harbor from the usual shitstorm of the morning. But that may not be so for owners of a popular coffee maker sold by Black & Decker, which is now being recalled because 68 people have reported suffering from cuts and burns after the handle broke while… » 6/04/12 9:30am 6/04/12 9:30am

Your Office Break Room Is a Cesspool of Filth

Every morning you cruise into the office, set your bags down at your desk, and then head to the break room/kitchen/communal area. You may think you're there to get coffee and shoot the shit with your coworkers, but it turns out you're basically just there to soak yourself in germs for a few minutes. What a lovely way… » 5/24/12 10:00am 5/24/12 10:00am