[Short, sharp whistle] Feet on the floor, soldiers in the war on Christmas! This morning, please look across the pond to the United Kingdom for an example of action that furthers our cause.
Humans need stimulants, and we’re always on the lookout for better ones. Of course that’s what calories and sugar and protein are for, but when it comes to getting shit done, we’re at our best when drinking coffee, chewing coca, or having made sure to get enough vitamin B.
When was the last time Coca-Cola did anything nice for you?
British supermodel Suki Waterhouse - who recently ended a two-year relationship with actor Bradley Cooper - dropped this bomb on Us Weekly: "I rinse my hair with Coca-Cola sometimes."
For many people in America, voicemail is useless. Coca-Cola decided to go ahead and let that cool feature go gently into the good night by eradicating its voicemail option on landlines at the company's headquarters in Atlanta. "Nooooooo!" screamed one employee.
Stand by for the most disgusting beverage-related news since the invention of green juice: Coca Cola apparently plans to introduce a new "premium milk" product that'll cost more money. Well, that's one way to cope with the fact nobody wants to drink soda anymore!
Today’s trend in marriage proposals; say it with soda. A man named Donnie McGilvray asked for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage with six Coke bottles he’d personalized with the message “Beautiful Eloise Will You Marry Me.” There was no question mark, but we forgive you, Donnie.
Our friends in the UK are being thoroughly creeped out by Coke's new campaign which includes a headless shirtless man pouring himself a fine glass of Diet Coke. Said headless shirtless man appears to have zero nipples, which is either some type of astounding genetic anomaly or, more likely, a staggering Photoshop…
After a mere month, 7-Eleven has decided to pull Diet Coke Frost, one of the hallowed Slurpee's only reduced fat options, from stores.
Do you like Diet Coke? Do you like brain freeze? Congrats! Today is your lucky day. Meet Diet Coke Frost Cherry.
Shh, but gay rights activists are alleging that Coca-Cola doesn’t really want America to know that they’re sponsoring the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. It might be the television channels I’m watching, but I haven’t seen any Coke commercials for the Games in the States now that I think about it.
Well, this is some real bullshit. Mexican Coke is ditching its key ingredient, cane sugar, for high-fructose corn syrup. This is objectively awful.
A new ad for Coca Cola advises drinking the brown flavored bubbly corn syrup water isn't unhealthy at all — instead, it's a part of a wholesome, healthy lifestyle like the kind your grandfather enjoyed before he died of lung cancer from all the smoking people did in the 1950's and 60's.
Vitaminwater is still in hot (neon-dyed sugar) water over its claims that its anything other than Obesity in Landfill (tm?) — and it looks like they're finally going to see their day in (class action lawsuit) court.
Have you ever had a really hard time opening a bottle of Coke and some guy helped you out and then you two got married?! Ha, such a classic meet-cute. (It happened to me last week, but we're divorced now that I'm no longer thirsty for a Coke.)
Guys, are you a sad sack piece of crap with delusions about your looks, talent, and abilities who can't be counted on to perform the most basic of tasks? Well then, Coke Zero is for you!
Here's the new Coca-Cola commercial, in which the brand brags about all it's doing to help people consume fewer calories: "Across our portfolio of over 650 beverages, we now offer over 180 low and no calorie choices," the narrator explains. If you like, you can also watch the new Coca-Cola commercial explaining how…
Coca-Cola is the world's number one beverage company, and known for ad campaigns that equate soft drinks with joy. From "Have a Coke and a Smile" to "open happiness" and the Happiness Machine, Coca-Cola has always focused on positivity. But in new commercials hitting the air starting today, the brand will do something…
We've been hearing so much lately about how terrible soda is. It contains all kinds of crazy chemicals and also a concentrated dose of pure evil that keeps you coming back for more. But did you know that your soda also contains alcohol? Alcohol alcohol? Like the good kind that gets you drunk? Yep, that's what a French…
Have you ever heard of brominated vegetable oil? Unless you're one of those obsessive label-readers like myself, odds are high that you've never thought twice about specific kind of oil before. Well, I have some bad news for any fruit-flavored soda-lovers: your drink of choice contains flame retardant.