Damon Wayans Jr.'s New Girl character Coach is once again departing the show after this season, and I honestly can't say I'm that sad about this.

These bourgeois pigs in business class must be purged from our skies. Why let them board an airplane early, free from the desperate urge to jostle for a space in the overhead bin for their sensible leather carry-on just so they can sip mimosas and sneer at the poor, corn syrup-coated plebes seated in zones 2 through…

Okay, everyone: put down that stack of bills equivalent in value to $95 (plus shipping and handling) that you were about to burn, because I have something more fun for you do with it! Mattell has created a genuine leather Coach bag and outfit for your Barbie! Walk, don't run, to your nearest Useless Shit Commissary…

A former girls varsity basketball coach and guidance counselor has been put on paid administrative leave for writing a book called It's Her Fault, which is basically a less cohesive version of The Game, ostensibly for women but filled with ramblings on the vaginas of the world and how to prey on women with low…

Most of us made money selling lemonade when we were young, but not little Eve Hobsbawm. She's eight years old, and she's already a life coach in the making. She has her own website, called EveProblemSolver.com, which describes itself as, "A problem-solving consultancy founded by Miss Evie Mouse." Most adorably useful…

What a thrill it is, every once in a while, to read a rip-roaring take-down! Today's specimen is Reed Krakoff, the Coach designer who launched his own super-expensive namesake brand last year, who is profiled by Ariel Levy in this week's New Yorker. Levy — whose last fashion profile was an exceptionally warm…

• Worst-selling, that is. Swift's April Elle issue sold the fewest copies of the year, and her covers of Glamour and Marie Claire were nearly as bad. Blake Lively bombed on Vogue and Esquire, but weirdly sold well for Allure. [WWD]

• Blake Lively is rumored to be the face of an upcoming Chanel handbag campaign. [E!]
• Having Linda Evangelista in its ads has apparently driven up Talbot's quarterly profits by 17%. [WWD]

• Amy Winehouse's line for Fred Perry is out, and the clothes look a little like the kind of argyle-tastic thing André 3000's girlfriend would have worn to go boating in 2003. Only shorter. [Yeeeah]

• Balenciaga asked Cindy Sherman to create a series of six of her trademark in-character self-portraits for the brand. In each, naturally Sherman wears Balenciaga head-to-toe. [The Cut]
• Pop covergirl Britney Spears might perform at the magazine's FNO party. [DFR]

• Adriana Lima, husband Marko Jaric, and baby daughter Valentina posed for Hola! brazil. The Victoria's Secret model discussed her pregnancy, which was plagued with complications including preeclampsia. Valentina was born prematurely. [HuffPo]

• "I don't give a fuck about red carpets, and I never do them," lies Gaga. "I don't like them. First of all — how could any of these outfits possibly look good with an ugly red carpet under them?" [ToL]

• Last night at Pratt, during a lecture from which many members of the media were banned, Vogue's Anna Wintour discussed fashion bloggers and her "intellectual crush" on photographer Irving Penn:

• Pictures of a 15-year-old Angelina Jolie modeling for photographer Harry Langdon will be auctioned in California on Friday. [Vogue UK]
• Karl Lagerfeld dressed Simone Veil in Chanel for her induction into the Académie Française. [WWD]

• Zooey Deschanel and Solange Knowles are joining Kate Moss, Coco Rocha, and Georgia May Jagger as the faces of Rimmel. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, Leona Lewis is the next face of American cotton's long-running "The Fabric of Our Lives" campaign. [Sun]

• An Australia's Next Top Model judge rejected a plus-size applicant who had made it to the second round of competition because "she would end up doing catalogues for Target." [NineMSN]
• Milla Jovovich might've booked the next Ann Taylor campaign. [P6]

• Gisele Bundchen has given birth to a baby boy. Husband Tom Brady has a two-year-old son with actress Bridget Moynihan. [People]
• A Chantilly lace LBD worn by Audrey Hepburn in How To Steal A Million sold for $97,000. [AP]

• Victoria Beckham opens up to Women's Wear Daily about everything from the childhood bullying she endured to why she couldn't bring herself to tell Marc Jacobs she was starting a fashion line. Clearly, someone wants to be Taken Seriously:

• Julia Roberts will become a face of Lancôme, appearing in ads beginning early next year. Roberts earns up to $20 million per film, and could realize a similar amount from her first major beauty contract; the company won't say. [WWD]