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CNN Hires Notorious Asswipe as a Political Commentator 

In an attempt to broaden their coverage from missing airplanes, CNN has hired former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. Politico reports that Lewandowski has been given a “salaried position” that will make him “exclusive to CNN, effective immediately.” CNN’s Brian Stelter confirmed Politico’s report on…

Cable News Chose to Air Footage of Trump's Empty Podium Instead of Clinton's Union Speech

This election season, the media has found itself wrapped up in a perpetual cycle of self-loathing and self-adulation. We are, by our own estimation, both acutely to blame for the rise of abandoned roadside ham hock Donald Trump, and unimpeachable public servants, guilty only of doing our job.

Justice Department Says They've Shut Down French Psychic Maria Duval's Decades-Long Mail Scam

The Department of Justice told CNN they’ve finally shut down a long, well-known, and very colorful mail scam, featuring a self-proclaimed French psychic named Maria Duval. Over two decades, the scam is said to have netted $200 million. But just who’s raking in that cash remains somewhat murky: Duval’s son said she…

Watch Ted Cruz's Tiny Daughters Attempt to Make Daddy Appear Less Terrifying

CNN aired its third incredibly, mind-bendingly gentle “Town Hall” Wednesday night. This time it featured Ted Cruz, Creature from the Black Lagoon and GOP presidential candidate, whose long-suffering wife and young daughters (in matching outfits and hair bows) were on hand to distract viewers from Daddy’s medieval…

Why Is CNN Making These Gentle, Lovely, Entirely Free Campaign Ads for the GOP Candidates?

CNN, for reasons known only to them and their makers, is hosting a series of “town halls” this week with the remaining three GOP candidates and their families. The Trump edition aired last night: it featured gentle questions from Anderson Cooper and a loving, adulatory audience. It was fucking gross. This whole…

Ben Carson: In Trump's Defense, He Didn't Think at All Before Saying Abortion Should Be Penalized 

On Thursday, Donald Trump, a disturbingly old Dennis the Menace impersonator, suggested that maybe abortions should be illegal and women who have them should be punished. He then semi-backtracked. Last night on CNN, Ben Carson, his most half-hearted endorser, argued that, in Trump’s defense, he didn’t think at all…

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'American Sniper' Widow Taya Kyle Argues Against Gun Control: 'We Do Not Have to Be a Fear-Ridden Country'

Taya Kyle, the widow of “American Sniper” Chris Kyle, appeared on a CNN town hall on gun violence Thursday night, where she and President Obama had a strained but civil discussion on gun laws. Kyle also penned an editorial for CNN today, reiterating that she doesn’t believe any additional laws would have saved her…

This Bored CNN Reporter Accidentally Caught on Livestream Is an Artist and an Icon 

President Obama and French President Hollande gave a joint press conference at the White House today at noon to discuss the war against ISIS, but the real excitement began well before they arrived, when the camera made completely accidental love to CNN’s Jim Acosta for approximately 30 minutes.