The verdict is in: Michael Derrick Hudson, you are a motherfucking clown.
What's going on with clowns these days? Roaming small towns in California, terrorizing people in France, missing entire mouths on American Horror Story? I don't know about you but I think the French town of Vendargues that has banned all clown costumes for the foreseeable future has the right idea.
If Twisty, American Horror Story's resident clown of creepiness and doom, hasn't given you enough of a reason to stay home this Halloween (although he will get you there, too. He's a clown), consider this chilling news: French police are warning citizens of violent attacks perpetrated by clowns with guns and knives.
If you have coulrophobia, or even an aversion to clowns, you may not want to read this. Because there are a lot of clowns here and they're all doing something strange in the town of Wasco, California: They're wandering around late at night, clown-style.
American Horror Story's writers and creators excel at exploiting our deepest pathologies and paranoias, so it was only a matter of time until they debuted that oh-so-ordinary childhood terror: the scary clown. And Lana del Rey!
Some complete and total jerkface is sneaking around a cemetery in New York dressed as a super creepy clown is hiding in Brooklyn's historic Green-Wood Cemetery, trying to "surprise" unsuspecting cemetery-goers.
Being a famous pop star must get boring sometimes. At least, that's the feeling you get after watching Katy Perry's video for "Birthday," which she's used as an opportunity to really pushed her acting skills to the brink by disguising herself as various birthday party entertainment professionals who end up ruining a…
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, a 53-year-old woman who is so hot and awesome that it almost seems unfair, stars in her very own photo spread in next month's issue of GQ wherein she fucks a clown.
Despite earlier reports, there is no clown shortage in America. According to leading clown experts at the Clowns of America International (which, yes, exists), everything is fine. "There is NO fear of a clown shortage in the U.S. [Clowns] of America International is doing very well, and so are the clowns that are…
Bad news if you run a circus, great news if you are knee-quakingly terrified of clowns: The clown industry's talent pipeline is perilously close to running dry. Go and hug your children/pets, because the days of pants-shitting clown nightmares are almost over.
At first I was terrified — and then I was capterrified. (Which is a mix of terrified and captivated; like when you watch your Fourth Meal Taco Bell burrito get made.)
Hospitals can be pretty terrifying places even without grotesquely painted jesters shuffling through their wards in oversized shoes, but that hasn't stopped Israeli hospitals from relying on medical clowns to help put tremulous patients more at ease because apparently not enough Israelis know who Pennywise is.
According to the San Francisco Weekly, Hollie Stevens (who the article dubs a "clown porn pioneer") first started shooting clown porn because it is fucking hilarious. "I shot a lot of clown porn for amusement," she told the publication. Stevens, who also does mainstream porn, has cancer.
[Mexico City, October 18: A girl has her face painted during the "XVth International Clown Convention." The convention will be held Oct. 18-21 at the Jimenez Rueda theater. Image via AP.]
For the past hundred years, everyone has been scared of clowns. No one finds them funny. Even if you're not P.Diddy-phobic, modern life generally has an unofficial "no clowns" clause that for some reason is recklessly ignored: