In-Flight Wealth Disparity Is Hastening America’s Cultural Revolution

These bourgeois pigs in business class must be purged from our skies. Why let them board an airplane early, free from the desperate urge to jostle for a space in the overhead bin for their sensible leather carry-on just so they can sip mimosas and sneer at the poor, corn syrup-coated plebes seated in zones 2 through 6… » 8/17/13 5:00pm 8/17/13 5:00pm

Universal Studios Theme Park Engages in Class Warfare With VIP Tickets

Waiting in line is enraging. Seeing people skip the line because they're rich, famous and/or Justin Bieber is even more enraging. It is probably the single most important reason why I want to become rich, famous and/or Justin Bieber: so I can skip the line (while releasing massive farts as punishment to the masses for… » 6/10/13 1:45pm 6/10/13 1:45pm

Poor, Horny Romantics Ready to Die Can Work at the Titanic II

Because why not, some gadzillionaire has invested in the Titanic II, an exact replica of that one crazy cruise ship that was so full of love, giant diamonds, and, uh, death, and apparently lonely boners and sad hearts are already willing to pay $1 million to be a bourgie guest at the Neue Titanic. But what if you're a… » 5/20/13 1:10pm 5/20/13 1:10pm

Gina Rinehart, the World’s Richest Woman, Is Really Sick of How…

You know how when you wear your ostrich-egg diamond necklace for your Saturday promenade down Main Street and all the drunk poors stir awake on their cardboard mats and sort of give you this really judgy scowl? Ugh, it is literally the worst, and if you're regularly besieged with the covetous stares of your less… » 8/30/12 11:55pm 8/30/12 11:55pm

A Complete Guide to the Many Wars Being Waged in the 2012 Elections

If the 2008 election was characterized by Sarah Palin shooting wolves from helicopters and the McCain campaign in the foot (also from a helicopter), the 2012 election season thus far has been characterized by calling everything criticizing anything a "war" on that thing. But wars are nothing if not warlike, and with… » 4/16/12 6:00pm 4/16/12 6:00pm