David Petraeus Will Plead Guilty to Oversharing with His Mistress 

Former CIA director David Petraeus will plead guilty to sharing classified information with Paula Broadwell, his mistress and biographer, according to media reports and court documents. The Justice Department began investigating Petraeus in 2012, suspecting that he'd given Broadwell access to his CIA email. » 3/03/15 12:15pm 3/03/15 12:15pm

Former Vice President Dick Cheney briefly emerged from his lair to weigh in on the Senate Intelligence Committee's horrifying report on CIA torture during the Bush administration, calling it "full of crap." He then returned home and furiously masturbated over the report for several hours. » 12/11/14 3:40pm 12/11/14 3:40pm

In response to the Senate Intelligence Committee's appalling though sadly not surprising CIA torture report, Ben Emmerson, the UN's special rapporteur on counterterrorism and human rights, has called for the prosecution of senior CIA and US officials who signed off on the gruesome interrogation techniques. He stated,… » 12/10/14 3:20pm 12/10/14 3:20pm

Fox News Host Freaks Out About Torture Report: 'We Are Awesome!'

Today the Senate Intelligence Committee released a 500-page, utterly damning, thoroughly horrifying report on the use of torture by the Central Intelligence Agency against terrorism suspects. Among its many hideous highlights: detainees were deprived of sleep, threatened with death, forced to submit to medically… » 12/09/14 5:50pm 12/09/14 5:50pm

​Ex-CIA Director Deems Dianne Feinstein Too Emotional for Objectivity

Torture is very serious business. And with the Senate Intelligence Committee's investigation of a secret report that claims the CIA engaged in torture practices during George W. Bush's presidency—and lied to Congress and the public about it, it has become even more serious. » 4/06/14 5:45pm 4/06/14 5:45pm

Boys Club No More: Now Women Make Up Nearly Half of the CIA

Earlier this month, Mother Jones described the early days of the CIA as "Mad Men with security clearances." Men were the spies; women were the secretaries. But over the years, things have changed, and now, women make up nearly half of the CIA, and at least 40% of undercover operatives (spies) are female. » 11/14/13 11:40am 11/14/13 11:40am

CIA's Cool New Deputy Used to Hold Erotica Nights at Her Bookstore

As a graduate (and a scholar) in International Relations and Middle East Studies, I've eyed my fair share State Department/intelligence jobs before realizing I didn't want to be another pawn in the enactment of American imperialism and hegemony. But before it dawned on me that I never want to have to remove my nose… » 6/13/13 7:00pm 6/13/13 7:00pm

Mothers, Don't Let Your Girls Grow Up to Love Morally Upright Spies

Last week, several media outlets obtained leaked information that revealed that the United States government, in collaboration with several major corporations, has been secretly collecting a metric fuckton of data on its citizens without their knowledge or consent, all as part of a Bond villainesquely named program… » 6/10/13 11:40am 6/10/13 11:40am

David Petraeus Is Super Sorry About That Whole Cheating Thing

At yesterday's University of Southern California annual ROTC dinner, former CIA director David Petraeus made his first public speech since resigning last November after it was revealed that he had been having an affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell. » 3/27/13 11:10am 3/27/13 11:10am

Petraeus Successor General Allen Might Just Be a Chatty Guy

Was General John R. Allen, who succeeded General David Petraeus as lead commander of coalition forces in Afghanistan, actually sending inappropriate emails to Tampa socialite Jill Kelley? (If you still don't know who these people are, read our explainer here.) » 11/14/12 1:25pm 11/14/12 1:25pm

Jill Kelley Gazes Listlessly Out Window While Petraeus Plays on TV

She looks so much like a modern day Jane Austen character, it's hard to believe this wasn't staged. Poor Jill Kelley, perhaps she should take to bed before she comes down with consumption. This is all so fucking Greek tragedy/Desperate Housewives, I can hardly stand it. » 11/14/12 1:05am 11/14/12 1:05am

A Guide to Understanding the Increasingly Convoluted Petraeus Sex…

Twenty to thirty thousand emails, shirtless photos, illicit sex ("under" a desk, no less): are we sure the Petraeus scandal isn't actually a viral marketing campaign for the next season of Gossip Girl? If you haven't been paying attention to the still-developing drama (we're expecting a secret pregnancy to break this… » 11/13/12 11:40am 11/13/12 11:40am

State Department Liaison Jill Kelley Has Been Identified as Paula…

Amid the worsening fallout from the David Petraeus sex scandal, reporters have been keen to figure out all the lurid details, especially the identity of Petraeus biographer Paula Broadwell's supposed rival for the general's affection. » 11/11/12 4:30pm 11/11/12 4:30pm

CIA Director David Petraeus Resigns Because of Extramarital Affair, But…

David Petraeus resigned as director of the CIA today due what he called his "extremely poor judgment" regarding an extramarital affair. » 11/09/12 5:15pm 11/09/12 5:15pm

CIA Steps Up Levels Of Female Executives

The British Intelligence Service, MI-5, smashed their glass ceiling by appointing Stella Rimington to Director General. Today, the Director of the CIA named Stephanie O'Sullivan to become third in command, in hopes of closing the US gender gap. [Atlantic] » 12/17/09 1:30pm 12/17/09 1:30pm

Iran Accuses CIA Of Killing Neda Soltan

Yesterday, Iranian ambassador Mohammad Hassan Ghadiri told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that the bullet that killed young Neda Agha Soltan was not Iranian, and thus her killers were CIA operatives or terrorists. » 6/26/09 9:20am 6/26/09 9:20am

Obama Girls Are Over The Dog; Souter To Step Down From Supreme Court

Hank Williams Jr. Pains Our Ears, And Our Brains

John McCain's Staff Tells One Reporter To Stay Off The Bus

Vanity Fair And The New Yorker Expose The Clandestine Operations That…

Hola, patriots! We have a treat for you today at Crappy Hour: we read two really long stories for you, Gail Sheehy's first rough draft of the demise of Hillaryland in Vanity Fair and Seymour Hersh's investig-planation of what exactly your tax dollars are doing in Iran. And oh my goodness, the stuff we knew that we… » 7/01/08 10:30am 7/01/08 10:30am