Catholic Bullshitter Timothy Dolan: Church Is Being ‘Out-Marketed’

Well, Cardinal Timothy Dolan isn't exactly wrong when he insists that the Catholic Church is being "out-marketed" when it comes to gay rights, but his reasoning that the powerful Hollywood marketing machine has somehow distorted the issue and undermined the Church's once-powerful propaganda machine is bullshit. The… » 12/01/13 4:30pm 12/01/13 4:30pm

Church of England Updating Itself with ‘Champagne Christenings’

Let’s face it — in the industrialized, Western world, religion is having a fairly rough go of it. Sure, there will always be some hardcore fundamentalist literalists who refuse to admit, say, that lions and gazelles wouldn’t pass a 40 day and night diluvian pleasure cruise playing bridge and calmly sipping highballs,… » 6/30/13 12:30pm 6/30/13 12:30pm

The Church of England May Allow Female Bishops...in Two Years

In the great race towards the 21st century, the Church of England’s time machine may be several decades ahead of the time machines of the other big Christian institutions (I imagine them to be racing Mario Kart style, but of course everyone’s free to make use of their own whimsy). On Friday, the Church of England… » 5/26/13 6:00pm 5/26/13 6:00pm

Woman Leads Mormons in Prayer for the First Time in Forever

The future female leadership in the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints looks a little brighter after Sister Jean A. Stevens took to the dais at the church's semiannual General Conference in Salt Lake City to offer a benediction. It marked the first time in the memory of the church's leaders that a woman… » 4/07/13 2:00pm 4/07/13 2:00pm

Let's All Talk About Sex and Orgasms in Church

Allegheny College's Ford Memorial Chapel, which conducts Catholic mass and non-denominational services every week, hosted a sex-positive class last Wednesday focusing on topics like the female orgasm, body image, and consent. It was a particularly clever choice because it forced critics to hang themselves with their… » 2/22/13 11:40am 2/22/13 11:40am

Teen Pleads Guilty To Burning Down Church Because of the 'Race, Color…

With a name like Jean-Claude Bridges, you should really be an extra great guy, but as it turns out, that's sadly not the case. In a Danville, VA court yesterday morning, Jean-Claude Bridges, 18, plead guilty to starting a blaze at New Holy Deliverance Outreach Ministry, a Virginia church with a predominantly black… » 1/09/13 10:15pm 1/09/13 10:15pm

Parents Might Sue School Over Kid Yoga Classes, Probably Thinks They…

A group of parents in Encinitas, CA are outraged that a local school is teaching the cult of yoga to their impressionable youth. Worried that their kids will forget all about the great Jesus Christ and start following that slut Ganesha down the path of temptation to get away from their Christian off-spring. Okay,… » 10/22/12 10:35pm 10/22/12 10:35pm

Billboard Criticizing Mormon Stance on Blacks and Gays to Follow Mitt…

Mitt Romney is a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a religion viewed by many Americans unfamiliar with the faith as a strange tradition shrouded in secrecy and characterized by the sort of perky friendliness that can only be concealing a horrible Stepford-style robot factory. But as one… » 10/22/12 12:50pm 10/22/12 12:50pm

The Catholic Church Makes Kateri Tekakwitha the First Native American…

During an elaborate open-air ceremony at the Vatican's Saint Peter's Square this morning that involved a lot of fancy costumes, bejeweled bibles, Latin liturgies, and probably some bored, sleep-weary children, clandestine Sith lord Pope Benedict XVI canonized Kateri Tekakwitha (along with six others), making her the… » 10/21/12 12:00pm 10/21/12 12:00pm

Moscow Police Are Seeking Masked Men After a Violent Attack on a Gay Bar

On Friday, police in Moscow were searching for about two dozen masked men who'd stormed into one of the city's most popular gay bars on Thursday, Coming Out Day, and brutalized several patrons, mostly women. According to the New York Times, more than ten people were injured, including three women and a man who all had… » 10/14/12 5:00pm 10/14/12 5:00pm

Elderly Woman Who Botched Fresco Restoration Is Quickly Becoming an…

Cecila Giminez, the Spanish woman who took it upon her humble self to "restore" a 100-year-old fresco in the church of her home village of Borja, has attracted the ridicule of many internet art critics, who have called her, um, reimagining of fresco Jesus both hedgehog- and monkey-like (a howler monkey, if we're… » 8/27/12 9:30am 8/27/12 9:30am

Megachurch Pastor & Author of Marriage Advice Books Fired After Getting…

Jack Schaap, an Indiana megachurch pastor with a finely tuned Sincerity Face, has been fired after he was caught sincerely sucking face with a girl who was not his God-endorsed wife. The good news is that the girl appeared to consent to the makeout sesh. The super, extra gigantic bad news is that according to some… » 8/02/12 4:30pm 8/02/12 4:30pm

Black Couple Forced to Change Wedding Venue Thanks to Some Racist…

After setting a date and printing invitations for their July 21 wedding at the predominately white First Baptist Church in Crystal Springs, Mississippi, Charles and Te'Andrea Wilson from nearby Jackson had what was probably a pretty awkward conversation with Pastor Stan Weatherford, who told the couple that some… » 7/29/12 12:00pm 7/29/12 12:00pm

Rebel Nuns Sass Pope, Don Leather Jackets, Cruise Away Loudly on…

American nuns, fed up with the Vatican's dissent-squelching bullshit, have fired back at the Pope and his cronies, arguing that cracking down on holy ladies who question the teachings of the Church undermines the entire purpose of Catholicism as an evolving, living faith. Okay — those last two details in the headline… » 6/19/12 12:55pm 6/19/12 12:55pm

Alleged Abuse Threatens to Topple a Televangelism Empire

Many a famous televangelist has fallen from grace due to some ill-advised or criminal behavior—cheating on one's wife, pilfering money, frequenting gay prostitutes, etc. And now it appears that ultra-famous pastor Creflo Dollar, founder of World Changers Church International, is about to face a similar fate. The… » 6/11/12 2:10pm 6/11/12 2:10pm