I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass tragedies and inconsistent NFL officiating. I know you can’t handle one more goddamn piece of bad news right now. It’s too much. It may break your spirit entirely. But I have to do it. If I don’t tell…
It's Christmas!!!!! But who cares, because it's RUINED.
Holiday anecdote: this year, Santa brought me a rape whistle.
Some people do not care for winter wonderlands, silver bells or "merry" anything. Some people are bitchy and bitter, perpetually pissed-off or generally annoyed. What we have here are gifts for Grinches, Scrooges, the enraged and the ill-tempered.
...and other seemingly-innocuous toys that one shrink says could psychologically scar the young for life (and may have ruined most of us).
Let's make Christmas all about vampires and '50s ad agencies! We've got gifts for Mad Men enthusiasts, True Blood fangbangers and anyone goo goo for Lady Gaga. Caution: You're gonna want most of this stuff for yourself.
No shit headline of the day: "Women Spend And Stress More Over Gifts." Well yes. Also, advertising has led us to believe that if it's not a great, awesome, amazing present that makes people gasp, we're doing something wrong.
Oh J. Crew. I don't understand you. Sometimes you know exactly what I want. Often it's like you've read my mind. But the drab duds you're hocking for holiday? Sigh. Looks like it's the least wonderful time of the year.
Tomorrow is the first day of December, and we're already being inundated with Christmas crap! Here's a handy buyers guide.
The fruit in the Harry & David catalog may not appeal to you, but what about cookies? Cheesecake? Peppermint bark!?!?! Ugh. So hungry right now.
Strange things are afoot in the Sky Mall catalog! Check out lasers, kitty spaceships and sneakers that will make you "look like a million dollars" in a gallery, beginning below.
Still not finished with the Christmas shopping? We're already 3 days into Hannukah! Before you light that fourth candle tonight, check out the random "gifts" Bloomingdale's has to offer: Burberry bags, ear muffs by Ugg and a $13,000 jacket. Let's go shopping, after the jump!
The Sharper Image catalog is full of stuff you never knew you needed. Some of it is fun, some of it is cool, some of it baffles the mind. After the jump, projectors and drunk driver helpers and pink knives, oh my!
Portƒolio's fashion blog points us to Santa's Helper at Net-A-Porter. The virtual assistant is actually a customizable video of a foxy blonde Brit in a red dress, "assigned" to help women get what they want for Christmas via the men in their life. All users have to do is enter information via a series of drop-down…