So here's a thing! Zoe Saldana's Allure cover prints her weight like she's a slab of nova at the Zabar's fish counter. The dek under her name reads: "115 pounds of grit and heartache." (The rest of the dek: "—117.6 pounds after quinoa lunch; 114 pounds after bikram yoga, 0.00 pounds in space" — was cut for design…

Match.com enthusiast Martha Stewart cannot, for the life of her, remember why she didn't try to go down to Pound Town back in her days as a preppy young thing who worked at a pastry shop outside a Ralph Lauren store in Connecticut and occasionally sold Hubbell Gardner scones or whatever. Lady, I feel THAT.

Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as "like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me."

IMHO, Naomi Watts has always been the more endearing half of the blonde, icy "Aussie Posse" best-friend duo that includes herself and Nicole Kidman. Watts, who got a Lead Actress Academy Award nod for her role in The Impossible, is filming a 60 Minutes CBS segment as part of their pre-Oscars nominee special. But when…

The MTV Movie Awards have finally figured out what it will take to get us to watch the MTV Movie Awards: they have announced that Rebel Wilson will be hosting this year's ceremony on April 14th, the first female host since Sarah Silverman in 2007, and a damn good choice at that. However, it being MTV, here is the…

For reasons that escape me, Christina Milian has inserted herself into the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna are-they-or-aren't-they bore-nado (that's like a tornado but boring, OKAY???) and told Wendy Williams that Brown is still dating his ex Karrueche Tran. For her part, Rihanna appears to have confirmed her singleness on…

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a…

I know this doesn't really deserve to be the lead story, but it's FRIDAY. I DO WHAT I WANT. FART JOKES FOR EVERYONE. Christina Aguilera went on Ellen and told the whole world that Cee-Lo has gas problems. Like, butt-gas. (The funniest gas of all!!!)

Last night at the 40th American Music Awards, the stars were shiny and bright, with gold being one of the most popular colors on the red carpet.

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