Pope Francis Is the Princess Diana of Popes

This morning, TIME announced that this year's Prom Queen Of News is none other than Pope Francis. The pontiff is the perfect choice for 2013's Person of the Year — he changed the Church from a mouthpiece for intolerance into one of love and acceptance. Except not really for women. He's still pretty meh about women.… » 12/11/13 12:50pm 12/11/13 12:50pm

Costco Apologizes for Selling Bibles Categorized as 'Fiction'

Costco has apologized to customers after a box of Bibles labeled "Fiction" made it to store shelves in LA. As one might imagine, this offended people who do not believe the Bible to be fiction, and amused people who do not believe the Bible to be true. Now I understand why the "religion/philosophy" category must exist… » 11/21/13 7:00pm 11/21/13 7:00pm

Christian Teen Would Rather Drop Out of Big Race Than Wear Number 666

A Kentucky high school runner recently cut her season short when she opted not to run in regionals. She wasn't injured, or sick, or tending to a family emergency. No, she dropped out of the race because she was assigned the number 666 and thought that if she ran wearing that number, it would threaten her relationship… » 11/06/13 3:30pm 11/06/13 3:30pm

Like Your Racist Aunt, Hobby Lobby Loves Crafts, Isn't Wild About Jews

We already know that ric-rac n' hot glue purveyor Hobby Lobby is totally not down with its female employees using birth control because Jesus Is Watching You Fuck. But here's another reason to not buy your crafting supplies there: they're also not wild about Jews. Hobby Lobby: basically, your anti-Semitic,… » 10/03/13 5:40pm 10/03/13 5:40pm

Seven Heavenly Reasons the Possible New GSN Church-Based Dating Show…

Picture The Bachelor, but if your grandma was supervising all the dates. Yikes. Also, YES. The Game Show Network, you know, the channel you watch when you're home sick from work and actually not faking it, might just become a channel you will watch when you actually feel like being entertained. This has happened… » 4/10/13 5:40pm 4/10/13 5:40pm

Christian Radio Trolls Discuss The Two Schools of Feminism: Hot and Not…

You may remember the delightful Generations Radio duo Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner as the super-conservative wackadoos who hated and wanted to eat the Muppets. Now, they want you to know that giving your daughter the gift of upper schooling will launch her esteemed future in "selfish, narcissistic, family-destroying… » 1/26/13 5:30pm 1/26/13 5:30pm

Federal Appeals Court Pumps the Brakes on California’s Ban on Gay…

Our legal system can sometimes seem like a lurching, inefficient machine that only works after a few well-placed blows from a wrench and some irrational pleading, but it's our legal system and we're stuck with it even when shit like this happens: a federal appeals court on Friday temporarily blocked a law that bans » 12/22/12 12:30pm 12/22/12 12:30pm

Rampant Gay Buttsex and Rugmunching Caused Hurricane Sandy, Says Wise…

At the end of last week, when meteorologists were first dusting off their storm hysteria gear in anticipation of THE PERFECT FRANKENSANDY STORMICANE, I thought, I wonder how much time will elapse before some nut blames the storm on abortion, gays, or gaybortion? Thankfully, I didn't have to wait until the full scope… » 10/29/12 3:45pm 10/29/12 3:45pm

Megachurch Pastor & Author of Marriage Advice Books Fired After Getting…

Jack Schaap, an Indiana megachurch pastor with a finely tuned Sincerity Face, has been fired after he was caught sincerely sucking face with a girl who was not his God-endorsed wife. The good news is that the girl appeared to consent to the makeout sesh. The super, extra gigantic bad news is that according to some… » 8/02/12 4:30pm 8/02/12 4:30pm

A Special Christian 'Hey Girl' Thrill

Why should heathens be the only ones to enjoy attention from hot male celebrities? They shouldn't, which is why the worshippers among us should be extra thankful that Hey Christian Girl exists. It's like Hey Girl — but holy. Now all we need is for Ryan Gosling and the Purity Bear to team up and save someone's soul,… » 6/11/12 10:00am 6/11/12 10:00am

University's Code of Conduct Warns Against Abortion, Witchcraft, and…

Normally, Liberty University is one of those bizarre/annoying things you can just forget exists, like Branson, Missouri or the band Smashmouth, but not this weekend. Nope, this weekend, centrist and totally rational Presidential candidate Mitt Romney will be addressing the hyper conservative evangelical university as… » 5/11/12 4:00pm 5/11/12 4:00pm

Christians, Beware: The Porn Monster Is Coming For You

Here's the trailer for Harmless, the Christian horror film that warns of the dangers of pornography. Look, we already have this movie and it's called Boogie Nights. Unless Harmless includes a scene where a coked-out Alfred Molina dances to "Sister Christian" in his underwear, then I don't even want to hear about it. » 5/01/12 7:00pm 5/01/12 7:00pm

Wait, Now You Can Get Kicked Out of College for Watching Glee?

Conservative Christian Bob Jones University is not a place for mincing namby pamby liberals with a dancing, prancing agenda. As such, students at the school are expected to adhere to a strict code of conduct and keep their minds unpolluted by the filth of pop culture sin, and if they don't keep up with the school's… » 4/27/12 11:20am 4/27/12 11:20am